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Young House Love » Blogging » How To Deal With Criticism

| By Sherry Petersik | January 27, 2012 | 1,100 Comments

How To Deal With Criticism

It was fun to crack open a little bit of our personal “stuff” last Tuesday for this post about the real $herdog (yes, I’m still patiently waiting for that nickname to catch on) and John’s J-Boom version. And a funny thing happened after sharing those. Not only did they receive over 1,200 amazingly awesome and encouraging comments (note to self: apparently you’re not a social pariah if you admit that you sometimes have strawberry cream cheese on your ear and are inclined to impersonate Cindy Lou Who) but we also got dozens of emails – not even exaggerating – asking about how to deal with criticism and respond to negative comments. And thus this post was born.

dealing-with-online-criticism-and-negative-comments

I guess by sharing all of our weird idiosyncrasies it encouraged people to write about something they’re struggling with and ask how we handle it? It also could have had something to do with this thread on the $herdog post. Either way, the emails mostly came from folks who run small blogs who have somehow fallen into larger readerships thanks to being pinned on Pinterest or otherwise thrust into the spotlight suddenly (like a feature on Apartment Therapy or Design Sponge). And the general gist of every single email was this: someone was blogging along about whatever they blog about (some of these people aren’t home bloggers at all) and then… zinger… it happened. A not-so-nice comment. And it stung.

Close Hummus

With more readers definitely comes more “feedback” – both good and bad. And you know I’m happy to be that spunky little cheerleader on your shoulder shouting high-pitched overly-enthusiastic things like: “you can do it!” and “reach for the stars!” – so here’s my humble advice in a nutshell:

  • It’s your blog.
  • Be who you are. That is enough.
  • Try to give the good feedback as much weight as the bad.
  • Do all things with love.

Sounds corny huh? But I’ll explain how those four things have really helped us deal with the whole “you’re putting yourself out there and I’m anonymous so I’m going to tell you exactly how I feel” phenomenon. After all we’ve been told (both nicely and not so nicely) a few of the following things:

  • I’m not really interested in posts about _____, so I vote you skip them
  • I’m losing interest in big projects – do more little ones
  • Do more big projects – the small ones are filler
  • I want more Clara and Burger and everyday stuff
  • I want less Clara and Burger and everyday stuff
  • That paint color/art/room is ugly/not the right choice
  • Stop using certain words/expressions because they make me cringe
  • Stop being so cheap and spend some money
  • Stop spending so much money and be more frugal
  • Move faster, I’m bored
  • Move slower so I can catch up
  • I’m disappointed in this choice/this idea/you
  • This blog used to be better because _________
  • I will no longer read this blog because ________

See all the contradictions going on in there? Basically if we listened to every suggestion, well, we wouldn’t have a thing to blog about. Not a single thing. And after 2,000+ posts and over four years of doing this, we’ve definitely learned that some folks like things that others hate and some people have an opinion when it comes to how they’d run this blog if it were theirs. But here’s the thing. It’s not theirs.

Which brings us to…

Tip #1: It’s your blog. It might sound weird to point out, but your blog isn’t a magazine with a team of 30 people who poll their readers and try to please the largest group (at least I don’t think it is). The very definition of a blog is just an outlet to write whatever you want and share whatever part of your life that you’re passionate about in your own words and at your own pace and in whatever way feels natural to you. Whether you do it full time or as a hobby once a month, your only real task is to be who you are and share what you like and those who like it will drop in.

In our case, we’re just two people with a dog and a kid who happened to gain a following sharing our adventures on the home front. We just write about whatever’s going on in our lives and seems interesting to us, which has gotten us here (we’re not Facebook or Pinterest, but 5 million hits a month = crazytown to two kids like us). See, if you attempt to please every last commenter, as much as you love and value your readers, know that it’s Mission Impossible – and it could even lead to your blog’s downfall (it won’t be yours anymore). So trust yourself. Everyone else might have an opinion, but your voice really should be the loudest and your vote really should be the one that counts.

Cheesy Burger Picture

Tip #2: Be who you are. That is enough. I think most people are a little guilty of the whole wanting-more syndrome. When a show ends I immediately want the next episode to come on (and I want it to be even better than the last). When I get a magazine and it’s feeling a little thin I wish it were twice as thick. And I think boxes of Oreos should be bottomless (I expect them to refill themselves while I’m sleeping). So it’s no surprise that when it comes to blogging, well, readers are inclined to want more. They might say it not-so-nicely, or very kindly indeed. And either way it might make you feel sort of womp-womp. But it’s just human nature. And I can tell you from experience that you will be a happier person and a better blogger if you make peace with that completely normal phenomenon.

You can’t control how every single person reacts to your blog, but you can control how you blog. And struggling to eke out more to the point of exhaustion or burnout (be it recipes, sewing tips, DIY stuff, photography pointers, craft ideas, or anything else you blog about) just isn’t the answer. At least not if – in the words of Claire Danes in Homeland – you’re playing the long game. Ideally your method of blogging should make you feel more inspired, creative, and enthusiastic about blogging – which in turn will shine through so your readers get just as giddy about it as you do. There’s a reason that your blog is attracting a readership and people are coming back. So just go at your own pace and concentrate on doing things well and not making yourself sick or neglecting your family because a few usually very well-intentioned folks want something that should take ten days to be done, photographed, and blogged about in five. Forgive people for being excited and impatient. We all do it.

Of course establishing these boundaries applies to other scenarios too, so if you have a family blog and folks want more photos/info about your kids than you’re comfortable sharing, know that whatever you want to share = enough. In blogging I generally think if it feels wrong (or makes you feel tired/sad/uninspired), it’s wrong. So don’t do it. As much as I hate being told to relax (seriously, ask John, it’s on his “do not ever say that to me unless you want me to go crazy on you” list), just try to relax and do your thing.

Clara Rocker Far

Tip #3: Try To Give The Good Feedback As Much Weight As The Bad. The funny thing is that everyone we talk to who is wrestling with comment criticism admits they still get waaaaay more positive comments than negative ones. I mean the ratio is usually astounding. We know it just takes one cutting comment to get under your skin, but when the vast majority of people love something, it sucks to let one commenter sink your battleship. Let’s do some light math (I don’t do heavy math, but light math is ok). If over the course of a week or two, 99 people take the time to say they like your blog/post/project/house/whatever and one person chimes in to say something’s not their cup of tea, that still adds up to a 99% success rate. And those are good odds my friend- so keep on keeping on! Heck, even if a ton of your readers don’t like something but you like it, I wholeheartedly think that you should keep blogging about it. Why? Because you like it and – once again, for the folks in the back – it’s your blog. Picture me up stage wearing a pant suit and a pocket protector saying “I can’t hear you!” and holding the mic out so you can shout that chorus with me. Or dancing around in this outfit chanting it with my lovely family while serving up a heaping portion of jazz hands (Burger’s clearly hiding because he doesn’t want to be seen in this getup).

JibJab Big Finish

Tip #4: Do everything with love. It’s admittedly extremely cheesy (and you might hear a tiny violin playing in the background) but my favorite advice is usually summed up in that phrase. It’s actually written on a post-it note that I’ve had stuck to my laptop for the longest time. When someone takes time out of their day to say something they’d most likely never say to anyone’s face (or would they…?) I’ve come to realize that spewing the same venom that they flung in my direction won’t make me feel any better (heck, it would probably make me feel significantly worse).

So I try to look at them from a place of love. Maybe they’ve had a terrible day. Maybe they’ve lost someone they love very much and they’re hurting. It may seem weird to try to have compassion for those who don’t seem to be very sensitive to your feelings, but I’m telling you that there’s something to it. It helps me respond with humor or a quick explanation from my point of view without getting too heated. Or even just with the words “Merry Christmas to you and your family!” like I did when someone said that decorating our family Christmas tree with paint chips was akin to decorating it with tampon wrappers. Growing up my mom always said that above being successful, popular, or athletic (all the things I worried about so much back then), being kind was the most important thing. And that’s something I’d love to pass down to Clara. Sing it with me: all ya need is love.

BurgerOttoman Nuzzle

So there it is. My brain dump. I hope it helps at least one or two of you out there who might be struggling with growing and having more eyes on you. I know it sounds corny, but for us this blog is just about sharing our adventures and hopefully helping you guys along the way. That’s why we make videos about grouting and cabinet painting and take so many photos and share every last detail – in the hope of helping a handful of you guys at home. And it’s also why we love sharing behind the scenes blogging stuff like this (since so many of you are fellow bloggers these days). I am completely embarrassed to admit this, but we wrote the Thank You part of our book a few weeks ago, and it wasn’t the part about our family and friends that made me cry, it was the part about you, our lovely readers. Crying isn’t even the word. It wasn’t cute. I was weeping. There was smeared mascara and a runny nose. The whole nine yards.

The enthusiasm, sweetness, and support that you folks send our way is nothing less than life-changing. I really mean that. The least we can do is crack open a little bit of ourselves in beyond-DIY posts like this from time to time (every once in a while we get the itch to overshare, like this and this along with our more recent J-Boom and $herdog posts). So lets get all sappy and share mom and dad quotes in the comments. Or any other older and wiser family member who said something while you were growing up that rings oh so true to you. My mom was also famous for saying “always wear nice underwear in case you end up in the emergency room” throughout my formative years. And let me tell you, she was right on the money about that too. It’s waaaaaaaay too embarrassing to go into, but I didn’t follow her advice and I royally regretted it. There were Care Bears involved. And I was 21. And I don’t think the doc grasped the concept of ironic underwear. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

Update – Some of the most frequent requests that we get are for info about professionally blogging (how we made our site, how we grew our following, how we make money, etc) so we shared all of the details about how we started a blog, grew our traffic, and turned it into a full time job. 

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Comments

  1. Sarah H. says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:22 am

    This was a great post! I love your positive attitude.

    BTW, one of your earlier posts this week has inspired my husband and me to go through our pics saved on the computer and make a photo book on snapfish! I can’t wait to see the finished product.

    Reply
  2. Tijana says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I love your approach to negative/critical comments! I think more people need to take that attitude.

    I will never understand people who take the time and energy out of their day to spew negativity all over the internet (mostly about people they really don’t know). I like to think that they’re having a really tough time in life and that it helps them cope better.

    Keep doing what you’re doing!

    Reply
  3. Anne says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:22 am

    The Hot John photo makes another appearance! ;)

    You guys are so great. I check in everyday, sometimes twice!

    It is really unfortunate that some people take time out of their day to make negative comments about your blog, do they not have better things to do?
    If I read a blog I don’t like or agree with, I move on with my day. I do not start a topic on a forum with strangers about how I didn’t like what I read.

    Keep it real $herdog and J-boom! We love you just the way you are!

    Reply
  4. Katie says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Well said–with love and humor!!!

    Reply
  5. Allison says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:23 am

    You are a good person and John is a good person and you are kind to each other. That is obvious and genuine and comes through in your writing. Plus, you’re good writers and your articles are always uplifting in tone (even when it’s about a disappointment). There are enough depressing things to read on the internet or watch on tv – most notably the national or local news. That’s why we come to your blog and why we like to read what you have to say. It makes everyone feel good. Your home improvement tips are just a bonus;)

    Reply
  6. Jane says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:23 am

    I’m so glad you finally wrote about this topic – I know it’s got to affect all of us bloggers at one point or another.

    I saw some particularly mean stuff about YHL in forums on The Knot and The Nest a while back, and I was horrified and appalled. In fact, I haven’t been back to the site since, because – I don’t know. I was just offended on your behalf.
    I don’t understand why people are ever critical of people they don’t know.

    Gret point you made about getting way more positive feedback than negative. How do we overlook that so often? It reminds me of training my work sent me to. It’s called State of Mind training and it’s for managers, to help them deal with tricky stuff at work – but also helps with life in general. The concept is that we are in charge of our emotions and reactions to things, and we can harness our mental energy to choose how we react to things.

    One example that I remind myself of is a spider. He’s chillin’ in his web, and something icky falls into his web. He can either leap at it and get all flustered, or just keep chilling and calmly remove it. Or something like that…
    my long, rambly point is that the training I had has really helped me in how I deal with negativity online, as well as in the rest of my life. I refuse to let the meanies get me jumping out of my web :) Of course sometimes I still get my feelings hurt, but I quickly remind myself not to focus on it and then I move on.

    Reply
  7. Kelly Dyer says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

    OK, the Care Bear underwear underwear thing had me scrolling back to the top to make sure that this was $herdog talking and not J-Boom.

    Whew!

    You guys are a wonderful couple, great parents and a great influence on those of us who come to your site for advice or just chuckles. Thank you for putting yourselves out there! I have a lot of ideas that I can’t wait to try out myself.

    Reply
  8. Meghan, RVA says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Piling on the love fest…

    I am so inspired by you guys, and wish I had my crap together half as much. That said, I also “get” that “having your crap together” is very much a matter of perception. No one has it all.

    I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to live in your town, and occasionally get to see you guys out-and-about. (Wish I could come out tonight, but my father-in-law is coming in to town tonight to hang out with us.)

    To the other bloggers and creatives out there: keep at it. It’s the only way you get better.

    As for advice, my 3rd grade teacher told me once to be like a duck: you’ll be surrounded by water (=bad things), but let it slide right off and keep your head held high.

    Reply
  9. Eli says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

    I don’t comment often but this post came at a perfect moment for me and I had to take a minute to tell you how much I appreciate this post.

    Although I don’t have a blog – I have a small home based baking business. I have never rec’d anything but rave reviews on my product and last night I delivered a cake that wasn’t exactly what the customer had in mind. It was smaller than she wanted and it was due to miscommunication on both parts. I was able to whip up some cupcakes and resolve the situation. However, that one negative reaction actually had me questioning what I am doing. I instantly started to doubt myself and my ability. Even though there are 100’s of compliments and positive feedback, this one negative experience brought me all the way down to the point I was doubting myself and my skill.

    Reading your blog this morning was what I needed to realize that I can’t please everybody. All I can do is put my heart and soul into each order. There are going to be critics along the way but I can’t let that get me down. Just keep pushing on doing my best!

    Thank you for sharing this, it really did brighten my day a bit!

    Reply
  10. Leanne Wight says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Just wanted to say I love you guys! I read your blog every day and you always make me smile! I sometimes even pull my husband or my kids in around the computer to share something you’ve posted! I wish you were my neighbors. I live in Richmond and every time I’m in Home Goods I am always on the look out to see if I can spot you! (Really hope I’m not scaring you – totally NOT a real stalker!) Hope you have a great day and keep on being your crazy selves. :)

    Reply
  11. Erin says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Please oh please photoshop a tampon-wrapper tree!!! And keep up the good work – you two(four) are awesome-sauce!

    Reply
  12. Andrea says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

    So well stated! I agree with everything you said. I think every blogger should read it and be encouraged that it’s ok to be who you are!

    Reply
  13. Angie Tobias says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Are you familiar with Mandi (from Vintage Revivals) other blog?

    It’s about hate mail and rude comments… and it is often hilarious. It is less about love/the high road and more about how you wish you could respond. Haha.

    http://myfavoritehatemail.blogspot.com/

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

      Oh my gosh I’ve never seen that. What a funny forum for folks to let it all out.

      xo,
      s

  14. Tiffany says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Well stated. Boom!

    Reply
  15. Lindsey @ arkadian belle woods says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Ok….I kind of wish that I didn’t know about the nest debacle. I feel sick. Honestly, after being a reader for going on 4 years, you guys are like family and I don’t stand for that but it is the internet. What are you going to do? It just puzzles me that people have nothing better to do and that they are so miserable with themselves to write this stuff. Also, it’s a raging from of jealousy. I mean sure we’d all love to be DIY superstars but it’s not an over night success and the fact that you guys have stayed true to your roots and how you are is what’s important. I think this post is great just like everything else you guys do. Sure there will always be things that readers aren’t stoked about but that’s normal and to be expected but to be so hateful about it is just wrong. All I have to say is ‘Haters gone Hate’ and ‘Haters fear most the success in other people’. I’ll love Sherdog, J-Boom, Clarizzle, & Burg-bizzle no matter what :-)

    Reply
  16. Shannon says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

    You guys are awesome. Just wanted to make sure you knew!

    Reply
  17. Krystle @ Color Transformed Family says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Thanks for sharing such great advice. I loved all the pictures to help narrate… Especially the one with Clara resting her head on the chair. I had forgotten how cute it was.

    Reply
  18. Jenny says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    This post may be the inspiration I needed to finally start the blog I’ve been dreaming of. I’ve always hesitated because I’m not sure I could handle any hate or negative comments the anonymity of the internet provides.
    My husband and I bought a house in May and were married in October so we’ve been slowly painting and deciding what we were going to do with our home. Your blog has been a huge inspiration to me (and got me hooked on pinterest.)
    That being said I love the blog and really appreciate all of the hard work you put into it, it’s an absolute blast to read. It’s perfect the way it is.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

      Aw thanks Jenny! Happy blogging!

      xo,
      s

  19. Riva says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    My mom always said “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” and I mumble this to myself every time I read questionable comments in cyberspace. It boggles my brain how so many people apparently never learned this lesson, or somehow decided it does not apply to cyber communication.

    It is incredibly difficult to accurately interpret the true intentions behind the comments people leave. You can’t read the actual emotional intent behind the basic text entered by a stranger you have never met. Maybe the person was being sarcastic. Maybe the person really thought the comment was nice or well-intentioned. As in-person interaction decreases in the digital age, I think we will continue to see more and more friction with how people interact electronically.

    Reply
  20. Jill says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    I wished I could see that Christmas tree in person. It photographed extremely well.

    I think YHL is extremely interesting and you guys have fantastic imaginations.

    Can’t wait for the book. It will help me share some excellent ideas with my non-blog-reading husband.

    Reply
  21. Lisa says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Wonderful post! I, like everybody here, am also amazed at why somebody would make any negative comments when they simply don’t have to read your blog, emphasis on YOUR blog! Thank God we are all different but that doesn’t mean I have to say I don’t like something if you love it and it makes you happy, especially when it has nothing to do with my life! I say they need to get over themselves, keep their comments to themselves and go on their merry way. I don’t know you, but you seem to be a genuine and beautiful person on the inside as well as the outside, have a beautiful family, a wonderful blog and are making your home beautiful, too. Keep doing a great job and keeping it real to yourself and your loved ones which is most important. God bless!

    Reply
  22. Kelly Dyer says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Also, my mother has told me since 5th grade “No matter where you go and no matter what you do, there will always be ‘mean’ people. You must learn how to respond.” As a very sensitive person it took me a while but now I am very adept at responding to people with genuine love in my heart and even out of my mouth. My mother taught me to remember that everyone has a past. Sometimes it’s from this morning and sometimes it’s from years of hurt.

    Reply
  23. Jaz says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    This is great. I especially love Tip#4 and the accompanying picture – the compassion you and John have shines…from Clara, to Burger, to spiders on the stoop.

    And, Sherry, I have to give credit where credit is due: You and John are the masters of knowing what to say, what not to say, and how to say it. I have yet to find another blog that I ALWAYS feel good reading. Thank you for that.

    Best mom quote: Be true to yourself (also tip #2 above)

    Reply
  24. Missy says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Thanks for doing what you are doing and for sharing your life with us. I enjoy the upbeat spirit of this blog. As someone who tackles endless DIY projects and is also on fixer-upper house #2, your blog puts into words (and lots of pictures) what we are going through as well! So a big fat THANKS!

    Reply
  25. Emily @ Door 13 says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Thank you so much for this post! I absolutely L.O.V.E you guys (all 4)! As a newbie blogger, this is just what I needed to hear.

    PS – your Christmas tree was so clever and creative…def did NOT look like tampon wrappers.

    Reply
  26. Christina says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Thanks for writing this, it has some great pointers for dealing with criticism in any part of your life. I’ll admit I’m trying to channel the “do all things with love” a little more often and it’s leaving me with a lot more laughter in the day.

    Reply
  27. Tatyana says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

    This is the reason why your blog is the 1st one I read every morning. Keep being who you are, you are great!

    Reply
  28. Lisa says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

    You go girl!

    Reply
  29. Karen F says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

    First of all, you guys are awesome, so let’s just get that out of the way to start. I haven’t seen too many outright negative comments on your blog, but on the few I’ve seen, I’ve always been totally impressed with how you’ve responded. You guys manage to keep things light, yet real, at the same time and it’s one of the things I like most about your blog.

    As for parental advice, it’s silly but the one that always sticks in my head is something my stepmom told me – when you’re down in the dumps (or not feeling well), dress nicely, do your hair and put some makeup on – it will make you feel better.

    For my kids (5 and 2), I’ve simplified this to be: “fake it ’till you make it”. If you feel cranky, try to act happy, and soon you will feel happy for real.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

      Always great advice! Thanks for sharing the quotes everyone. This is fun.

      xo,
      s

  30. Annabelvita says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

    The bit about you crying while thanking your readers made me want to cry. You are fantastic and such an inspiration.

    Reply
  31. em says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Is anyone else really curious about where that one commenter buys her pretty tampons?

    Reply
    • schmei says

      January 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      bwah ha!

      But actually… yeah, kind of.

  32. Colleen says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

    My wise Dad always says – “Kill ’em with Kindness”

    That makes you wise too, $herdog :)

    Reply
  33. Debbie says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

    I bet doctors see all sorts of weird underwear. Your Care Bear underwear probably was not even near the worst they’ve seen. LOL. Still embarrassing though, if it made you feel embarrassed! Love the post. Keep on being yourselves.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

      Haha- thanks Debbie! Makes me feel better.

      xo,
      s

    • Mary@The Good Life says

      January 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

      Okay, without grossing you all out completely (okay perhaps a little bit is necessary), you’re right on, Debbie. I worked in a hospital for awhile- supporting ER and Xray and the stories I heard and saw while there went way beyond Care Bear underwear. They would have thought that was really sweet. Most of these stories involved xraying stuck objects that needed help with removal. Mostly vegetables. So…moral of the story, apparently people are so weird they have most of the rest of us covered.

  34. Jessica says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

    I can’t imagine someone leaving such nasty comments on something that they are personally choosing to read. Your blog makes my day and has inspired me to try things on my own around my house. Thanks for making my days a little nicer with each of your posts! You guys are great!

    Reply
  35. Emily R. says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one with an awkward undies-in-the-ER story! Mine involved ruffles and a giant orange duck print (I was in my 20’s) and the EMT was smoking hot to top it all off! Needless to say, I live by the “always wear nice underwear in case you end up in the ER” mantra, so humiliating!

    You guys are so awesome, your posts always brighten my days (especially the ones with Clara and Burger cameos!). Those negative peeps clearly have bigger probs!

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

      Oh man, I can relate, let’s just say that. Haha. Why are the doctors only cute when the circumstances are beyond mortifying? Let’s just say I was praying for an older woman doc and I got a McSteamy equivalent. Eeeeeks.

      xo,
      s

  36. Mary says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

    My mom always tells me “being angry is a choice, so choose not to be.” I have a quick temper on certain things and I always have to remember that someone/something didn’t make me angry, I chose to respond with anger. That usually brings any tantrum I’m throwing to a screeching halt.

    I read an article on Ellen Degeneres a few months ago and one of the things she said really stuck with me, that she likes being thought of as funny or cool, but the compliment she likes the most is being told she’s kind.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 12:55 pm

      I love that quote and what Ellen said! So true.

      xo,
      s

  37. Brandi says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Amazing post – probably my fave ever from you. Excellent words of advice, and I completely agree with you, especially with point #2 :)

    Reply
  38. TamaraR says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    I would just add a bit of advice

    1. You don’t need to apologize for doing something that makes you happy.
    and in that same vein
    2. You don’t need to make excuses or explain something just because someone doesn’t agree or like it.

    BTW, I like others, love your blog and appreciate all that you all share with us.

    Reply
  39. Kate says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    The Burger photo of him peaking out from under the covers… SO CUTE! But don’t tell him I think he’s cute, that’s no very manly to be called cute, lol.

    Reply
  40. mick says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I’ve been reading your blog for a little over a year now, ever since my husband and I started house hunting. We bought our first house this summer, and I’ve got to say that I love your blog! The DIY tutorials are so useful, and you’ve empowered me to feel like we can tackle more DIY than we would have tried without your help. I think it’s really clear that you guys are being yourselves and love what you do, and that makes this a pleasure to read. Thanks for the above post, too. I love “Do everything with love;” that tip will be something I keep in mind when responding to criticism, too. Love it!

    Reply
  41. Loren says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

    I love this post, and I love your quote ‘Do Everything With Love’ is that an original $her-dog or is it from somewhere else?
    I try to only leave positive comments personally. Every now and then you guys do something I think it kinda dumb but I just ignore those posts and pretend you guys are infallible.
    I feel if you dislike a blog enough to be negative just don’t read it.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

      I’ve heard it a lot over the years- although I’m not sure if it’s an anonymous quote or actually attributed to someone. Anyone know? I’d love to give the genius who came up with it the credit they deserve!

      xo,
      s

    • Loren says

      January 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm

      I was really curious, so I just googled this and the internet seems to credit 1 Corinthians 16:14. There are a couple different translations. But I thought you might think that was cool :)

    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

      Love it!

      xo,
      s

  42. Beth R. says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:42 am

    My mom always said to ‘kill ’em with kindness’ when someone was being mean to me. Over the years, I’ve come to see how true that is. Nothing bugs angry/negative people more than when you don’t let their comments/actions impact your own happiness and optimism, and it shows them that nothing can bring you down, so why try? I have this quote taped to my computer monitor at work, and I read it at least once a day:

    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. – Herm Albright

    I think you guys do an awesome job. Keep up the good work, $herdog and J-Boom!

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

      Haha- funny!

      xo
      s

  43. Jesse says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:43 am

    WOW! Thanks for this post. The “I’m anonymous and will say how i feel” thing really has gotten crazy. It broke my heart to see what people have said to you!!! I love your blog, you guys are great, and I love that so much of your personality is IN the blog, and you’re not faking! When I had a table on design sponge, there were good comments… and then bam! found I had been “tweeted” and there was this whole thread between two people totally making fun of it… it felt like I had been slapped. BUT I just put it out of my mind. You’re right, you just have to let the good outweigh the bad!!!

    Reply
  44. melody says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Thanks for sharing! So far my blog doesn’t have much readership that goes beyond friends and family so I haven’t dealt with a lot of criticism, but I was still encouraged by your post. If it gets bigger I’m sure there will be criticism about my art and my blog in general. I was curious though, do you approve the negative comments?

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 11:52 am

      Oh yes, we approve 99% of them. I’d say we probably only delete one or two comments a year. It’s kind of amazing. Our example is always this:

      A comment that stays: “this is ugly and your blog is stupid” (although it’s hardly constructive, we’re more than ok pushing publish).
      A comment that gets deleted: “your baby is ugly”.

      No need to make my mom want to reach through the computer and strangle people. Haha. Besides, we all know Clara is gorgeous so that person is just living in opposite day or something. I always picture someone’s nine year old son commandeering their computer and leaving a silly little comment like that. So bloop, it’s gone. I think we draw the line at extremely personal attacks that do nothing but get other readers riled up and create massive detours from the happy place we try to create.

      xo,
      s

  45. Ashley says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

    You’re watching Homeland! Do you love it?

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      January 27, 2012 at 11:49 am

      Love it! Watched the whole thing already. We gobbled it up!

      xo,
      s

  46. Pam the Goatherd says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

    I completely agree with the $herdog concept of the bottomless/refilling-while-I-sleep-at-night Oreo package!!!

    Reply
  47. Chris says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

    I have a wee tiny blog that maybe 30 people read, who pretty much all know me, so I haven’t gotten any negative feedback. But I wanted to say that you are spot on, and not to be crass, but anyone who has the nerve to say negative things to you can suck it.

    Keep on keepin’ on.

    :)

    Reply
  48. Missy says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

    What a great post! Fist off, I think y’all are absolutely brilliant. Obviously your home improvement projects are ‘da bomb, but from a marketing standpoint and all of the smart things you do from a technical standpoint (I’m a web developer). It’s so fun to watch folks who are obviously “good folk” become wildly successful – you deserve it!

    And yes, there are some posts I’m just not interested in…..so I glaze over them or skip them. Big whoop! ;) I admit it’s rare for me to not be interested, though. Ha! I would never suggest you to change your blog based upon my personal preferences. ;)

    Thanks so much for sharing your projects with us. You’ve definitely been an inspiration in this household!!

    P.S. As a mommy and a previous Chi owner, I say bring on the Clara and Burger posts!! ;)

    Reply
  49. Tiffany says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Well stated!

    Reply
  50. Mary@The Good Life says

    January 27, 2012 at 11:46 am

    I’m saying this with the awareness that I have my crazy moments, too… but its sad that people feel they can be wildly rude both on the internet and while driving. We forget that there are truly other people on the other end of these actions we take, just because we don’t have to watch their faces as we behave badly. Its an easy way to release pent up anger but it is just as destructive as delivering these blows in person. Some people handle it better than others, but yes, do everything with love. Well put.

    PS- We just can’t have enough voices out there encouraging others to love themselves as they are. You guys teach DIY self esteem building as well as home improvement, reminding us to be gentle on ourselves and keep flying our freak flags. That’s why we love ya.

    Reply
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John and Sherry Sitting On Woven ChairHey, we’re John & Sherry. We’ve fixed up 7 homes, written books, designed products, started a podcast, and then downsized & moved to the beach! Here you’ll find over 3,000 DIY projects & home updates. More about us…
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