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38

Love (And Thanks) Are In The Air

Posted by
February 10, 2012

**Psst- We know most Fridays we just post once, but every month on sponsor shout out days we double up. So we’ll be back in a few hours with a post about cabinet surgery.

It’s time for our usual monthly show of gratitude to our sponsors. You know, the people who make the other 30+ posts possible, and generally keep us feeling all lovey dovey (hey, Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us, right?). So we tried to highlighting a few love/pink/red/heart related items from our sponsors (none of which have been gifted to us – here’s our no-swag policy). And if you need a little extra love, check out of some of the special discounts bulleted at the bottom. Happy early V-day to one and all (cue the cheesy *smooch* sound effect).

And now for those DISCOUNTS:

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509

The Latest On The Book

Posted by
January 31, 2012

We’ve dropped a few mentions of working on the book lately, so we figured it was about time for another post about the process. Our post two months ago mostly covered the journey to getting the book deal and the beginning stages of writing, but now we’re really in the weeds of things so there’s definitely more to share… and we don’t have to use pics of Burger to illustrate it this time! Sorry Burger.

At the time of our last book post two months back, we had turned in our 160-ish page completed outline and were beginning to coordinate the design process with our publisher. If you recall, the book is a compilation of 250-some ideas for “how to show your home some love” (everything from small art projects, little tweaks, and quick ideas to bigger makeovers involving paint & furniture). Things were trotting along nicely and our publisher, Artisan, was trying to figure out whether to keep our Fall 2012 release date or hold off until Spring of 2013. Sherry and I begged for the earlier date and they agreed – but it meant putting the pedal to the metal. So we buckled our seat belts…

But the manuscript is only half of the book process adventure right now. It’s probably less than half, actually. Maybe a third? Because what’s really keeping us busy is prepping for the photo shoots that began yesterday morning. So here’s what’s been going down on that end of things:

Update: Lots of folks are asking what we’ll be doing with all those secret projects/items once the book is shot. We’re actually hoping to do a giveaway with some of them (not sure how shipping will work though) and some items have to be returned, etc. Maybe one or two especially sentimental ones will stay at our house, but they’re all “bonus” projects (we didn’t “design” any of them to fit into our house, which is actually really freeing since we can have fun with lots of color/fabric/textures, etc) so it should be fun to see where they end up!

So our apologies to anyone who left a comment yesterday and took a little longer than normal to see it pop up or get a response! We’re definitely juggling things over here when it comes to keeping the blog and the book (and the bean) attended to. And as nuts as the next month is going to be for us, we’re so grateful for the opportunity and so excited to share the whole crazy journey with you guys as we go. Anyone else dealing with someone visiting them for weeks on end? Or keeping 100+ secrets that are slowly burning a hole through their brains? Tell us about it. Or just tell us how crazy our house looks. Go.

Psst- Thank goodness our bean sleeps the night away so we can get stuff done (check out her technique over on Young House Life).

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1,083

Dealing With Criticism

Posted by
January 27, 2012

It was fun to crack open a little bit of our personal “stuff” last Tuesday for this post about the real $herdog (yes, I’m still patiently waiting for that nickname to catch on) and John’s J-Boom version. And a funny thing happened after sharing those. Not only did they receive over 1,200 amazingly awesome and encouraging comments (note to self: apparently you’re not a social pariah if you admit that you sometimes have strawberry cream cheese on your ear and are inclined to impersonate Cindy Lou Who) but we also got dozens of emails – not even exaggerating – asking about how to deal with criticism and respond to negative comments. And thus this post was born.

I guess by sharing all of our weird idiosyncrasies it encouraged people to write about something they’re struggling with and ask how we handle it? It also could have had something to do with this thread on the $herdog post. Either way, the emails mostly came from folks who run small blogs who have somehow fallen into larger readerships thanks to being pinned on Pinterest or otherwise thrust into the spotlight suddenly (like a feature on Apartment Therapy or Design Sponge). And the general gist of every single email was this: someone was blogging along about whatever they blog about (some of these people aren’t home bloggers at all) and then… zinger… it happened. A not-so-nice comment. And it stung.

With more readers definitely comes more “feedback” – both good and bad. And you know I’m happy to be that spunky little cheerleader on your shoulder shouting high-pitched overly-enthusiastic things like: “you can do it!” and “reach for the stars!” – so here’s my humble advice in a nutshell:

Sounds corny huh? But I’ll explain how those four things have really helped us deal with the whole “you’re putting yourself out there and I’m anonymous so I’m going to tell you exactly how I feel” phenomenon. After all we’ve been told (both nicely and not so nicely) a few of the following things:

See all the contradictions going on in there? Basically if we listened to every suggestion, well, we wouldn’t have a thing to blog about. Not a single thing. And after 2,000+ posts and over four years of doing this, we’ve definitely learned that some folks like things that others hate and some people have an opinion when it comes to how they’d run this blog if it were theirs. But here’s the thing. It’s not theirs.

Which brings us to…

Tip #1: It’s your blog. It might sound weird to point out, but your blog isn’t a magazine with a team of 30 people who poll their readers and try to please the largest group (at least I don’t think it is). The very definition of a blog is just an outlet to write whatever you want and share whatever part of your life that you’re passionate about in your own words and at your own pace and in whatever way feels natural to you. Whether you do it full time or as a hobby once a month, your only real task is to be who you are and share what you like and those who like it will drop in.

In our case, we’re just two people with a dog and a kid who happened to gain a following sharing our adventures on the home front. We just write about whatever’s going on in our lives and seems interesting to us, which has gotten us here (we’re not Facebook or Pinterest, but 5 million hits a month = crazytown to two kids like us). See, if you attempt to please every last commenter, as much as you love and value your readers, know that it’s Mission Impossible – and it could even lead to your blog’s downfall (it won’t be yours anymore). So trust yourself. Everyone else might have an opinion, but your voice really should be the loudest and your vote really should be the one that counts.

Tip #2: Be who you are. That is enough. I think most people are a little guilty of the whole wanting-more syndrome. When a show ends I immediately want the next episode to come on (and I want it to be even better than the last). When I get a magazine and it’s feeling a little thin I wish it were twice as thick. And I think boxes of Oreos should be bottomless (I expect them to refill themselves while I’m sleeping). So it’s no surprise that when it comes to blogging, well, readers are inclined to want more. They might say it not-so-nicely, or very kindly indeed. And either way it might make you feel sort of wop-wop. But it’s just human nature. And I can tell you from experience that you will be a happier person and a better blogger if you make peace with that completely normal phenomenon.

You can’t control how every single person reacts to your blog, but you can control how you blog. And struggling to eke out more to the point of exhaustion or burnout (be it recipes, sewing tips, DIY stuff, photography pointers, craft ideas, or anything else you blog about) just isn’t the answer. At least not if – in the words of Claire Danes in Homeland – you’re playing the long game. Ideally your method of blogging should make you feel more inspired, creative, and enthusiastic about blogging – which in turn will shine through so your readers get just as giddy about it as you do. There’s a reason that your blog is attracting a readership and people are coming back. So just go at your own pace and concentrate on doing things well and not making yourself sick or neglecting your family because a few usually very well-intentioned folks want something that should take ten days to be done, photographed, and blogged about in five. Forgive people for being excited and impatient. We all do it.

Of course establishing these boundaries applies to other scenarios too, so if you have a family blog and folks want more photos/info about your kids than you’re comfortable sharing, know that whatever you want to share = enough. In blogging I generally think if it feels wrong (or makes you feel tired/sad/uninspired), it’s wrong. So don’t do it. As much as I hate being told to relax (seriously, ask John, it’s on his “do not ever say that to me unless you want me to go crazy on you” list), just try to relax and do your thing.

Tip #3: Try To Give The Good Feedback As Much Weight As The Bad. The funny thing is that everyone we talk to who is wrestling with comment criticism admits they still get waaaaay more positive comments than negative ones. I mean the ratio is usually astounding. We know it just takes one cutting comment to get under your skin, but when the vast majority of people love something, it sucks to let one commenter sink your battleship. Let’s do some light math (I don’t do heavy math, but light math is ok). If over the course of a week or two, 99 people take the time to say they like your blog/post/project/house/whatever and one person chimes in to say something’s not their cup of tea, that still adds up to a 99% success rate. And those are good odds my friend- so keep on keeping on! Heck, even if a ton of your readers don’t like something but you like it, I wholeheartedly think that you should keep blogging about it. Why? Because you like it and – once again, for the folks in the back – it’s your blog. Picture me up stage wearing a pant suit and a pocket protector saying “I can’t hear you!” and holding the mic out so you can shout that chorus with me. Or dancing around in this outfit chanting it with my lovely family while serving up a heaping portion of jazz hands (Burger’s clearly hiding because he doesn’t want to be seen in this getup).

Tip #4: Do everything with love. It’s admittedly extremely cheesy (and you might hear a tiny violin playing in the background) but my favorite advice is usually summed up in that phrase. It’s actually written on a post-it note that I’ve had stuck to my laptop for the longest time. When someone takes time out of their day to say something they’d most likely never say to anyone’s face (or would they…?) I’ve come to realize that spewing the same venom that they flung in my direction won’t make me feel any better (heck, it would probably make me feel significantly worse).

So I try to look at them from a place of love. Maybe they’ve had a terrible day. Maybe they’ve lost someone they love very much and they’re hurting. It may seem weird to try to have compassion for those who don’t seem to be very sensitive to your feelings, but I’m telling you that there’s something to it. It helps me respond with humor or a quick explanation from my point of view without getting too heated. Or even just with the words “Merry Christmas to you and your family!” like I did when someone said that decorating our family Christmas tree with paint chips was akin to decorating it with tampon wrappers. Growing up my mom always said that above being successful, popular, or athletic (all the things I worried about so much back then), being kind was the most important thing. And that’s something I’d love to pass down to Clara. Sing it with me: all ya need is love.

So there it is. My brain dump. I hope it helps at least one or two of you out there who might be struggling with growing and having more eyes on you. I know it sounds corny, but for us this blog is just about sharing our adventures and hopefully helping you guys along the way. That’s why we make videos about grouting and cabinet painting and take so many photos and share every last detail – in the hope of helping a handful of you guys at home. And it’s also why we love sharing behind the scenes blogging stuff like this (since so many of you are fellow bloggers these days). I am completely embarrassed to admit this, but we wrote the Thank You part of our book a few weeks ago, and it wasn’t the part about our family and friends that made me cry, it was the part about you, our lovely readers. Crying isn’t even the word. It wasn’t cute. I was weeping. There was smeared mascara and a runny nose. The whole nine yards.

The enthusiasm, sweetness, and support that you folks send our way is nothing less than life-changing. I really mean that. The least we can do is crack open a little bit of ourselves in beyond-DIY posts like this from time to time (every once in a while we get the itch to overshare, like this and this along with our more recent J-Boom and $herdog posts). So lets get all sappy and share mom and dad quotes in the comments. Or any other older and wiser family member who said something while you were growing up that rings oh so true to you. My mom was also famous for saying “always wear nice underwear in case you end up in the emergency room” throughout my formative years. And let me tell you, she was right on the money about that too. It’s waaaaaaaay too embarrassing to go into, but I didn’t follow her advice and I royally regretted it. There were Care Bears involved. And I was 21. And I don’t think the doc grasped the concept of ironic underwear. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

Pssst- We announced this week’s giveaway winners. Click here to see if you’re one of them.

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354

The Real J-Boom

Posted by
January 20, 2012

First off, in kitchen progress news, all of the chaotic electrical work has been completed! In just five hours actually. Woot.

So we’re cleaning things up, taking pics, doing some pendant hunting, and writing a big ol’ post about it for you guys on Monday. But apparently when Sherry shared “The Real $herdog” on Tuesday there were a bunch of requests for a John version. Color me surprised (I honestly thought Burger and Clara would get mentioned before I would). And since I don’t really have a cool street name like Sherry, she has suggested that I use “J-Boom” for the time being. It’s a little too close for comfort to a certain busty Jersey Shore cast member for me, but since I figure there’s little risk of confusing the two of us – I’ll use it for now. It certainly has more flare to it than my childhood nicknames of “JP” and “Petersik.” Anyway, since Sherry stole some shared facts for herself (about our marriage and our daughter) – my list might be a bit more random than hers. Here goes nothing.

#1 – I don’t always enjoy shopping and decorating. If reading our blog has given you the impression that I’m always the dutiful husband who skips merrily alongside Sherry on shopping trips for our latest decorating project, well – that’s not 100% accurate. I may participate in (and often enjoy) running house errands more than the average husband, but I also do my fair share of groaning when I’m told we “need to go out for pillows.” Same goes for tasks around the house. Let’s just say I don’t bound joyfully from the couch every time I learn we’re hanging curtains or need to go up in the attic to carry something that “takes two people, one being the strong and helpful husband.” But when worst comes to worst, I just try to find the humor in being the tagalong husband:

#2 – I’m the king of typos. Case in point, my fingers originally made that “I’m the kind of typos.” I’ve accepted this about myself: my brain and fingers don’t always work in unison and my eyes don’t do me any favors by catching them. Sherry has little tolerance for it (especially since I will even drop an entire word or three here and there). Yes, sentences like “then I spread the grout with a trowel” might get typed out as “then I with a trowel” and Sherry is left scratching her head. It’s one of the reasons Sherry proofreads every post before it goes up and also why I’m not as active in the comments (along with the fact that I have no idea where each of our ten million pillows hails from). I confessed my typo problem in a local interview two years ago where Sherry and I had to submit secret responses about each other separately. I said I loved Sherry because “she fixes my tyops.” Sherry told me it was a sweet and clever answer… until I further confessed that I hadn’t done it intentionally. It was just the most well-timed typo of my life.

#3 – I’m sometimes insecure about being a stay-at-home dad. Those who caught my BabyCenter post a few months ago already know most of this. And though I think I technically qualify more as a “work-at-home” dad, I still often feel funny about not getting up, putting on work clothes, and trotting off to the office like other “normal” dads. Even though I can rationalize that being home with Clara is actually a very good thing, it still just feels off to me sometimes. Especially when Clara and I are checking out at the grocery store in the middle of the day and I get that “oh, he must be unemployed” look from the cashier. But I’m doing my best to just embrace it and be as good at it as I can.

#4 – I’m a shameless consumer of “new” things. Maybe it’s the former advertising exec in me (or the reason I got into advertising in the first place) but I’m a total sucker for new products. They don’t even have to be totally new – maybe Hershey Kisses’ just released their seasonal flavors, for example. I. Must. Try. Them. All. Heck, I even bought a box of Life cereal the other day just because the packaging had been redesigned. Sherry knows whenever I go food shopping alone that she should brace herself for the weird new flavor or product I’ll come home with (Dulce De Leche Cheerios? Check).

#5 – I sing. A lot. And not that well. Sherry and I are both guilty of bursting into song pretty often, whether it’s singing along to the radio or crooning an original tune that narrates what we’re doing (“a grouting we will go, a grouting we will go, high ho the tile-e-oh, a grouting we will go”). So maybe this goes along with Sherry’s admission that she’s painfully cheerful? It’s like a slightly off-key and slightly-sarcastic Disney movie up in here sometimes. And it’s probably why Clara isn’t shy about belting a little medley out too. We aren’t “real” singers or anything, but we can both (key word: sort of) carry a tune. And sometimes harmonize. Sometimes even on purpose. If we were to try out for American Idol we’d be in that in-between group that’s neither good nor bad enough to see the judges. You can catch a snippet of me singing in this mockumentary my college improv group made about a squash tournament (that obviously needed to close with a big mediocre musical number). Fast forward to about 12:10 for my extremely brief verse. Or if you care to watch the whole thing, start here with part one (warning: I can’t guarantee it’s entertaining for anyone beyond those of us who are in it).

#6 – I don’t really read Young House Love. Since Sherry proofreads every post (see #2 if you’ve forgotten why) and responds to most comments (questions like “where did you get that mirror?” are like asking me what color earrings Sherry wore three days ago), she reads just about every single word that ever gets posted on this site. So with all that we juggle each day, it’s not really the best use of our time for me to read everything too. I barely find time to read other blogs, let alone the one where I already know how things end. So if we ever talk in person and you reference something funny that Sherry wrote, please forgive me if I just smile and nod. Does it make me feel like a bad person? Sometimes. But c’mon, you know brevity is hardly a virtue of ours…

#7. I can get pissed like the best of them. This might come as a surprise but I can get pretty darn peeved in the middle of a project that’s going anything but well. I have even been known to throw a screwdriver (maybe “lob it at the ground” is a better description) while grappling to fix an incredibly frustrating mailbox issue. I’m working on it, but just know that I’m not Mr. It’s All Going To Be Hunky Dory during every project. Sometimes I’m just gritting my teeth and muttering under my breath. But when it’s all said and done and we’ve lived to tell the tale, it’s 100% worth it. Which probably explains why I keep jumping back into the ol’ DIY arena. I’m like Russel Crowe in Gladiator – except significantly less ripped.

So maybe my list was less “surprise, I’m not perfect” than Sherry’s since I figure you guys already knew I was no Matt Damon / Edward Cullen  / Justin Bieber or whoever else is the epitome of male perfection these days. Just don’t tell Clara that. I think she’s pretty convinced I’m all that and a box of raisins. And I’d like to keep it that way.

Pssst: We are not famous. But somehow we’ve been invited to be part of the Richmond Comedy Coalition’s series called “Richmond Famous” that’s happening next Friday night (Jan 27). We’re not totally sure what we’re in for, but supposedly we’ll tell some true stories from our lives and they’ll improvise scenes based on them. And yes, Sherry is beyond nervous that we actually “have to talk” so we’d love to see you guys there. At least I would. Sherry might rather hide in the car. Get more info here.

Psssst again: We announced this week’s giveaway winner. Click here to see if it’s you.

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