The King Of Thrones

Yup, it’s a rare Sunday post- just because we have an exciting bathroom update to share. I know we mentioned that we’ve had great luck with under-$100 American Standard toilets, but we’re eating those words. Why? Because we just discovered the most amazing toilet that we have ever heard of. It’s like the Jake Gyllenhaal of toilets. As in, there is nothing better. Feast your eyes on this sexpot:

I mean, who wouldn’t want a toilet with:

  • a heated seat and heated foot blower
  • ambient lighting (right in the bowl!)
  • a motion activated lid and seat (it opens and closes for you)
  • advanced bidet function
  • built in speakers and a remote docking station for playing tunes
  • an integrated air dryer (yes, it blows you dry down there)
  • a touch screen remote (to control the entire thing like a giant robot)

Now, I know what you’re thinking. That toilet must cost millions, if not tens of thousands of dollars. But get this, it’s under 5K!

And we decided to spring for it! I mean, what’s the point of DIYing day in and day out without a little heated seat and air drying action to get you through the rough spots? This toilet is a guaranteed everyday morale boost. Because after a long day of painting or sledgehammering, how good does it sound to retreat to a heated toilet that has ambient bowl lighting and plays our favorite tunes while we use the remote to activate the air dry function?

I mean, just look how gorgeous it looks in this all glass room overlooking a city. I’ve always wanted an all glass bathroom.

Wait for it…

I know, I know, you were probably onto us. What tipped you off? Was it the ambient bowl light? The price tag? The Sunday post (darn you April Fool’s day for being on Sunday!). You guys know us too well.

Psst- Anyone else think it’s funny that a $4,600 toilet doesn’t qualify for free shipping?

Psssst- When it comes to April Fool’s jokes, they’re kind of a tradition around these parts. Here’s last year’s, the year before that, and the year before that


    • says

      Ha! I was just thinking, “Man, I really love my seat warmer…” I live in Japan, and now that I have a fancy-schmancy toilet, I’m ruined for life. The auto-flush is also quite amazing.

      Katy, have a nice trip!

    • LauraC says

      “like” We will have a two-year-old in ten days. Definitely thinking about this!!! (potty training, not $5K toilets)

    • Andrea H says

      touching the potty remote wouldn’t be a big deal, as the bidet and drying features leave you hands-free! That’s why you need the itunes- because you just sit there, and it does your business for you!

  1. robyns says

    Love It!! I actually saw this in a bathroom on bang for your buck one time and the homeowner went on and on about how it was the best money he ever spent!! Way to keep the April fool’s tradition rolling on!

  2. Gabriela says

    At first I was:
    “hum…err…(shrugs)ok, if they want it…”

    And then:
    “Air dryer” came up.

    (I proceed to picture the scene)
    And that’s when I lost it haha.

    Thank god!

    • says

      Maybe the fact that it doesn’t qualify for free shipping is their way of celebrating April fool’s. That’s nuts! Let’s hope joke is on us there….errrr whoever DOES spend 5k on a toilet.

    • Steph says

      Yes! It was that word that made me go “Hmmmm” and then it was all downhill from there!

  3. says

    nice work! I can’t imagine you guys ever spending that much on a throne! ;) but the list of features and that touchscreen were solid gold. Did John work up the home depot ad and the toilet design, because those are some skills right there! Have a great 1 April!

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