Late last week we were finally able to start installing our hardwood floors at the new house. It’s going well (we’re getting it done with our own four hands), but it’s proving to be a time intensive project – which is not necessarily the type of project you want to take on when you’re short on time (we’re scheduled to move in this weekend and would like to be completely done with four bedrooms and a long hallway by then – egads!). So once we’re breathing a bit easier and a bit further along, we’ll write up a play-by-play of how it all (literally) is going down. ‘Til then, enjoy this still-dusty pic of the first room we have officially completed: our master (well, we still have to get the baseboards and quarter round in).
As much as our timeline has me sweating bullets, it’s nothing compared to the Cathy-comic style perspiration that I was feeling during the first step of this project: just getting the dang wood home. Allow me to paint sketch you a picture. Lumber Liquidators called me to say my order was in and ready for pick up. Clara was napping so Sherry stayed home with her and I ran off to rent the $19 truck from Lowe’s or Home Depot that they suggested to pick up our lumber (it was a pretty huge order that definitely wouldn’t fit in our car – and renting a truck from blue or orange was cheaper than LL’s delivery service, so they recommended that). Off I went to Lowe’s, where I purchased all of my quarter-round molding for the four bedrooms and the hallway we were tackling (Lowe’s doesn’t let you rent their truck unless you’re making a purchase, but since I needed that stuff anyway it worked out well). Then I headed down the street to Lumber Liquidators.
Now, I knew my order would be bigger than our kitchen’s cork floor (which I was just barely able to fit in our Altima, btw) but I was still a bit shocked when I saw the massive stack of boxes being trucked out on a forklift. Was that really all ours? Gulp. It made me very glad I had rented the truck….
…that is, until they started to lower the load onto the truck bed and I noticed one of the tires was squishing down a little more than the other three from the added weight. It definitely wasn’t flat, it was just a little lower than the others on air. Which was enough to turn me into a Nervous Nelly (not to be confused with regular Nelly). But the Lumber Liquidator guys were great and forklifted my materials in a way that seemed to take the brunt of the weight off that tire – and we all agreed it looked okay enough to take it slow and drive the three short miles down the road to the new house.
Well, it turned out to be one of the longest 3 mile drives of my life. First of all, the load proved to be pretty unbalanced. Between my worries about the tire and the fact that the boxes of flooring were stacked pretty high (and not strapped together as tightly as they initially appeared to be), every time I turned I could see the boxes lean one way or the other. And this was despite taking turns at like five miles per hour with my hazards on in the right lane.
After a few turns I got a sense of how to shift the load back to an even-ish center, which thankfully squelched the visions that I had of myself in an overturned Lowe’s truck watching my new hardwood floor boards get strewn across the road and crushed by oncoming traffic. And since there were just a handful of turns between me and home, I figured it would be smooth (albeit slow) sailing the rest of the way.
Then it started to rain.
In all of my stress about the unbalanced load, I failed to notice the storm clouds that had rolled in without any warning. Awesome. It wasn’t just a drizzle, it was a sudden downpour… and I had dozens of boxes of hardwood floors being protected by nothing but cardboard in my truck bed. Hello blood pressure spike!
Luckily a previous occupant of the Lowe’s truck had left a large plastic drop cloth in the truck bed (something finally went my way!) so I was able to pull off onto a side street and cover everything before it got too wet. Of course it took me a few more death-defying turns to get off and back on the main road, but crisis mostly averted.
No more than one stoplight later, the rain stopped. Stupid thunderstorm. But it was still a bit windy, so my hasty cover job with the drop cloth was now coming back to haunt me and the plastic was starting to flap loose from the truck bed. Cue a few more turns to stop and remove the drop cloth completely.
I had barely made it a mile from Lumber Liquidators at this point.
My pounding heart was probably visible through my rain-soaked shirt, but fortunately my next two miles were far less eventful. I soon arrived to the new house, a few hairs grayer but with my hardwoods and truck perfectly upright and intact.
Then it hit me that I had to unload the darn thing. I had completely failed to think about this step in the process. I was alone. Sherry was still with Clara at home – where it never even rained (cue me screaming “What?! Was the cloud just over my truck?! Am I Eeyore?!”). Clearly I didn’t have a forklift at my disposal, so I sucked it up and started wrestling the boxes one by one off the truck and into the house. All 50 of them…
I think it took me a good hour to get them all unloaded. They were heavy (56 pounds each, I later learned), unwieldy (each one is about five feet long), and they all had to come down from the truck bed, up a few stairs and through a narrow doorway in the garage, before I could stack them in the dining room to acclimate before installation. There was no way in heck I had the energy to take them all upstairs at that point, so that would have to wait for another day. Between nearly giving myself a panic attack driving them home and then hauling 2,800 pounds of wood inside (seriously, I did the math) I figured I earned that much.
That was Clara enjoying the new flooring the day after it arrived. Here’s hoping she enjoys it as much once its out of the box and laid across her floor – because that’s what we’re working on today. Woot!
I have to say, I think this was one of my favourite posts ever. I love the drawings! Thanks for the laugh.
I agree! It’s one of the funniest posts I’ve read!
I agree. My favorite post of yours ever, and after so many years that’s saying something.
Totally loved this, the photos, the ‘normal nelly’, the eyeore picture. This was just the most hilarious post ever!
You HAVE to check out http://www.crappypictures.com! The original scenario sketchers that must have served as inspiration here. Love it :)
EEK! Super excited to see the floors laid…but sorry it was such a tumultuous time getting them home!
LOVE THE COMICS! Seriously, you guys should make sketched re-enactments part of your regular routine. Like, once a month? They are sooo funny and awesome and a nice change of pace. So glad the flooring made it safely home.
Agreed. It was pretty cute, and while I don’t know Jon, I feel like this was one of those youtube videos with sketches. A+ goes to the Petersiks
Oh, I agree. More comics! Best post ever. I was seriously laughing out loud.
P.S. The floor looks great!
I read your blog every morning on my way to work and this morning I was killing myself laughing on the bus. I loved the drawings – great job!
Talk about a labor of love! I’m glad it worked out OK in the end, and I hope you’re not too sore after all of that unloading!
Sorry to hear about the adventure, but may say I enjoyed your visual depiction of the experience. good luck with installation today!
Breathe!
You will be settled soon and this will all be behind you.
Look what lies ahead. So darn exciting. You have me rooting for you all.
You can di it!!!
B. ( not snarky at all.)
Though I’m sorry you had a hard time, the reenactment drawings are adorable :)
Well done, and reminds me of some of my remodeling (mis)adventures along the way. DIY is not for the faint of heart!
Hey Guys, just a heads up its pretty easy to pinpoint the area you are located in based on the description in the post. Otherwise, The floor looks great!! Sorry the trip was such a trial
Thanks Amy! There are multiple LL stores and Lowe’s in RVA, so we’re ok with what we shared. Our address is public record so if someone really wants to find out, they can – that’s why we’re happy to have an alarm system and a ferocious dog :)
xo
s
Tenacity! That’s why you all rock so hard.
Hahaha. You just put your finger on my least favorite part of DIY: driving a precariously-stacked load of supplies home! It gets my anxiety going everytime!
Hats off to a fellow illustrator. Hilarious sketches!
oh wow! You earned your memorial day ice cream 50 times over!
Oh, goodness. I think my blood pressure went up just READING this. The cartoons cracked me up!
Glad you got them safe and sound. I’m following progress on this project very closely since hardwood flooring is next on our list of home improvement projects. Good to know about renting a Lowes or Home Depot truck. There’s no way that flooring would fit in my little 4-door Corolla!
John, please write more posts. with pictures.
that was the best thing I’ve seen all month.
Still LMAO at stick figure description of what happened. Isn’t that always the way…things happen at the worst possible times. It looks B-E-A-UTIFUL though.
Haha…not that this is a laughing matter but those reenactments are superb! I’m sorry it was such an ordeal though! The floors do look gorgeous though!!
Oh my gosh, haha! Your description and drawings of what happened have me laughing! Good for you for hauling that by yourself, even though it must have been stressful (and crazy heavy)! We had hardwood delivered to our home last year and they had 3 guys hauling the wood into our living room (just steps into our home) and I’m sure we didn’t even have a quarter of what you have.
That was funny (laughing with you. Not at you). Funny that it rained and you made an Eyeore comment. My daughter LOVES Pooh! Speaking of Pooh… we’re potty training.
Haha! Good luck Kristi!
xo
s
All this talent AND he draws too? Seriously, those drawings were better than any photo could have been. I am still laughing. Glad the floor is home safe!
Wonderful comic documentary :)
You should frame the comics for your halway.
OMG, thanks for the laugh. We just had a nightmare DIY (long) weekend, and sadly, it makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one that had a series of unfortunate events. Hope the rest of the floor goes smoothly, you deserve it!
Sorry for your troubles but this was a really entertaining post! I love the sketches and your ability to find humor in a stressful and difficult situation!
nice! in the style of hyperbole and a half!
Those were my exact thoughts!!! Gosh, I love/d it!
I’m putting in hardwood floors today too! Good luck!
Wow! And I thought my journey to lumber liquidators was rough.
We picked up 31 boxes this weekend. We had no problems getting it loaded up and getting it home but then we came to the same realization as yourself that it had to be unloaded. So half made it upstairs to the proper room and the other half are two stories below because we just couldnt do it anymore :P
I applaud you for bringing in all those boxes on your own. They are no joke!
The comics made me laugh so hard! I especially love the angry face one. :)
While I haven’t hauled large quantities of lumber recently, I do feel your pain! I got hit from behind on the interstate (going 60 mph) at the beginning of May, 9 hours away from home, en route to run a half-marathon. Everyone was thankfully okay, but we missed the race, I had to get my car towed, and was taken back to my hotel in the back of a cop car. My car’s repairs are FINALLY going to be completed tomorrow, and then I’m arranging with car-shippers to have it brought back to me. It’s been the same sort of one-thing-after-another ordeal. I will be SO HAPPY to be reunited with my car!
I recently unloaded 22 boxes of Bellawood from LL all by myself in the pouring rain. So yeah, fun times! :) Yours looks great so far!
Best.Post.Ever! The progression of expressions of the John stick figure had me sitting at my desk grinning ear to ear!
Haha! My favorite expression is the one where it’s raining. He totally makes that face in real life.
xo
s
This was one of those, “you have to laugh or else you’d cry” moments in life! Thanks for letting us laugh with you. The stick drawings were the perfect comedic touch!
PS – can’t wait to see the floors all installed! They look great so far.
omg, john…that gave me a chuckle!
I’m sure it was a horrible experience, but like someone else said, I think this was one of my favorite posts ever! I’m so glad this stupid S*&# happens to everyone, and not just me! The cartoons had me rolling at my desk :)
I have a worse story involving two rooms of hardwood- an older mom and a young woman with her first apartment- we paid for delivery- turns out Home Depot only did curb to curb in New York City. All the flooring was left, boxed on the sidewalk in front of a three floor walk-up… buy me a drink and I will tell you about it…
John, a little story to hopefully ease your anxiety. We had a small pickup truck and offered to help our neighbor pick up his load of fencing. Everything went great until the first hill. Yup, all the wood slid out and onto the road. Quite a scramble to pick it up before other vehicles ran over it. All ended well and the fence is still standing 20+ years later. Thanks for the great story to tell/illustrate for all of us.
Bless your hearts! It looks great. I always think of this sound bite when I know I’ve got a huge project in front of me and have to be up late. Clearly, I’d forgotten the context and creepy hip swirl, but I hope you appreciate it for what it’s worth! :o) “You can do it! You can do it all night long!” http://imgflip.com/i/695n Good luck, guys!
Leave it to you to turn a terrifying, nerve wracking, intense moment, into comedy. Thanks for sharing!
Yikes! Sounds like quite the adventure. I hope the laying of the floors is far less event full!
I’m loving the facial expressions on your stick figure avatar, John. Especially the wide eyes starting out at us in disbelief. Classic!
Wow, what an ordeal! Kudos to all your quick thinking – and the crazy hard labor!! After all that, installing the hardwood should be (fingers crossed) a piece of cake!
I no doubt would have dropped to the ground and cried why me!!! What a nightmare. Obviously the unloading of the truck didn’t even dawn on you guys prior to you leaving for Lowes and Sherry staying behind. It’s only funny because of the way you’re putting it with your drawings, but I’m sure it was hell. John you are a saint!
Sorry about your bad luck……..but seriously, you gave me a good Monday morning laugh. LOVE the drawings!!! Hope today goes smoothly for you both. :-)
In retrospect, don’t you think paying for LL to deliver might have been worth it? You guys are just amazing!
Oh yes, most likely would have been! You just never know going into something if it’ll be super simple (and totally worth saving the money) or if it’ll snowball into something unexpected…
xo
s
Toooo funny, John. That last sketch is my favourite!! Don’t worry, like child birth the pain of hardwood floors fades quickly and you’re just left lovin the incredible job you did (she says positively on the other side of 1800 sq ft of hickory).
It looks so good! Even with trim overspray on the walls and dust on the floor! It screams potential. Love the drawings. John is a trooper!
So… was this all worth the delivery charge you saved?
Good question. Not sure on that one yet. :)
-John
I do believe that you and trucks are CURSED!!!! Perhaps someone ELSE should drive the moving truck this time John? ;-)
Ah, the joy of DIY, there’s always a crisis to deal with – but once your adrenal glands have recovered, think what a great story you’ll have to tell! And in the end, installing your own wood floor is SOOOOOO worth it – we’ve done that in all 3 of our houses, and it always fills me with pride after it’s done, (as opposed to filling me with pain during the process). Hang in there, it’s gonna be beautiful when it’s done!!!!
I am determined not to let this next moving truck find its way into any ditches!
-John
Oh, man! What a story! I’m glad it all ended well! Yikes! You da man, John!
I second whomever said the re-enactments should be done on the regular; hilarious! Hahaha. Glad it all worked out for you, you guys are some serious DIY’ers, that’s a lot of wood!
I was laughing reading the re-enactment, but only because I know all too well what that feels like. Only my drive involved freezing temps, nighttime, about 20 miles, and a HUGE table. I survived but like you think I have a few extra gray hairs from the experience.
I shared my story about bringing home our giant table here: http://www.thecentsiblelife.com/2013/05/why-shopping-furniture-outlets-is-awesome-and-scary/
I was worried at first glance that your boxes had caught fire! Then I was relieved to learn that it was the drop cloth flapping in the wind! Whew! Looking good, friends! Keep up the good (albeit exhausting) work!
LOL. That would’ve just been my luck! :)
-John
I thought the same thing!
Caught fire! LOLOLOL!
That comment made me snarf out loud. Poor John.
Hahaha! I thought the same thing!