Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Bethley says
It’s posts like this and people you like you that give me hope in the world. You mom and your aunt moving in together is inspiring. So sorry for your loss.
Mel V. says
I’m so sorry for your loss. If I acquire something of that nature, I hope I’ll face it with as much grace as your aunt.
Carra says
Sorry to hear about your loss of such a wonderful woman. Thank you for sharing. My best to you and your family.
xoxo
Shunta says
Thank you Sherry for your honesty and for, as you all tend to do so often on this blog, reminding us of the importance of love, family and a positive perspective on all things. I’ll be thinking of you and your aunt. My bff was diagnosed with MS our last year of law school 4 years ago, so I have been there–the MRI’s, the injections, the tears. I will be thinking of you and your family. Love to you all!!!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Shunta, I’m so sorry to hear of your BFF’s diagnosis but so hopeful that modern medicine (which has come so far, and advances every day!) will tell MS who’s boss.
xo,
s
karen says
That was a very touching tribute. I’m sorry for your families loss.
I pray for health.
Thais Bessa says
I am sorry for your loss, Sherry. My husband just lost his grandma to a degenerative disease and it was really awful.
Sending love and prayers for your family.
Emily says
So sorry for your loss- thank you for sharing your family story with us.
Shannon says
I’m very sorry for your loss. Sounds like you had a really great relationship with her.
Bethany says
What a lovely tribute. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Jodi says
Beautiful life, beautiful tribute…your family is in our thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))
Sara says
It’s so hard to let go of the ones you love. My only advice (though in no way can I even begin to understand your grief) is to know that she’s up in heaven walking around and dancing and laughing, pain-free. I hope you and your family know that we’re all sending good vibes your way. Hope the hurt stops soon.
jenb says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like an amazing person. I lost my mom 12 years ago to cancer after a long battle. While it’s still painful and I miss her everyday, I can’t help but be thankful that i had such a wonderful mom for 31 years of my life. So many people aren’t so lucky. I’ll be thinking of you and yours. God bless.
mia says
What a lovely way to remember someone who is so important to you. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
MH Toth says
What a beautiful tribute to Aunt Kay Kay. I’m so very sorry for your loss and pray that many more memories such as these will help comfort you.
Alicia Saint Ives says
That was such a beautiful and heart-touching post. I am so sorry for your loss but I know that your aunt would be blessed to know the amazing things you have to say about her. I’ve lost all my grandparents and my parents, and while you never stop feeling the loss, it’s tempered by all the wonderful memories. You’re openness is an inspiration to everyone to walk through grief with tears but a focus on everything the person we lost brought to our lives.
Angela says
Sherry, it is amazing how sometimes the ones that aren’t technically your nuclear family are the ones that leave the most nuclear impression in your life. My own mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s over 30 years ago and having an extended family around us (which includes friends) to help deal with her disease has been invaluable. What a beautiful person and “mom” your Aunt Kay Kay was. xoxo Angela
cassie says
wow, sherry- i am so sorry for your loss, but so happy you were blessed to have her in your life.
Esther says
You put a smile on my face every day when I read your posts, so I thought I should try and do the same for you today. That post was lovely! So nice to get to know you better, and to hear about a wonderful aunt like the one you had. I agree with what others posted, remembering the people we love and remembering to practice whatever they taught us and showed us keeps them alive. May you only think of your aunt and smile, because she seemed like a smiley person herself. Sending you warmth and hugs from Canada!
Melanie says
How hard this must be for your family. What a lovely tribute to your aunt, though. She sounds like a wonderful lady.
Katherine says
You have your Aunt’s smile {and assuming it is very much like your Mom’s}.
Remembering and sharing someone’s life is a wonderful celebration and compliment. I’m sorry for your loss, but happy to know you have great memories that will be with you always.
Bless.
Karen Cassell says
Sherry, so very sorry for your loss . . .
I am sure your Aunt is looking down at you with pride . . . just knowing that she had a hand in raising you to be such an amazing young woman.
As an Aunt “Kay” who is currently living with my Sister, Niece and Nephew, my dog and their dog in Richmond . . . your early life story certainly resonates with me and I can only hope that one day my Niece or Nephew will speak so lovingly and eloquently of my impact on their lives!
Jennifer says
Beautiful, beautiful post Sherry. I’m so sorry for your loss, but so happy you and your family have such wonderful memories.
Ellen says
So sorry for your loss…
Janel says
What a beautiful post, Sherry. My thoughts are with you!
Hannah says
Sometimes the best families are the unconventional ones. I’m so sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful story and a wonderful way to remember.
Vanessa Gasca says
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost an Aunt to MS as well. Your family is my prayers.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss Vanessa.
xo,
s
Mairi Setchell says
So Sorry for you loss. Thank you for sharing such a personal post. My Prayers are with you and your family!
Rebecca says
I’m so sorry for your loss of this amazing woman. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Shirley says
I’m very sorry for your loss. Your aunt is surely smiling down on you and your family.
Ty Elmore says
Such a lovely tribute. Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman. Family really is a blessing. Thanks for the reminder…
Christie says
This is a lovely tribute to your wonderful aunt, and the loving family you have.
Auto-immune diseases are awful. :(
Fariha says
I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope your aunt would be very proud.
Katy says
What a beautiful tribute for a beautiful woman! I come from a family similar to yours– I’m either the youngest of four, the youngest of six, or an only child, depending on who you talk to. I learned from an early age that labels like “step” and “half” don’t matter when you’re talking about family- what matters is who you hold close to your heart! Thinking of you and your family today.
Malia says
Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like a wonderful lady. Such a touching tribute to her. Thanks for reminding us all to show our loved ones how much we care. :)
Krysta says
That was just beautiful. Thank you for sharing a piece of this wonderful person with all of us. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Michele Daggar says
I’m so sorry about your Aunt Kay. One of my best friends was just diagnosed with MS about 3 months ago (she’s 46.) Such a debilitating disease.
You and your family are in our prayers.
jana says
So sorry for your loss.
Katy says
Such a beautiful post. I’m very sorry for your loss. You were lucky and blessed to have two strong wonderful women in your life.
Jen says
You have a beautiful family. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Peace be with you and all of your family.
Lili says
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. What a wonderful legacy she has left behind. I will be praying for peace over your family as you take time to remember her.
Sara says
so sorry. it’s never easy losing someone special, especially someone you’re close with. my mom had an MS scare 5 years ago (turns out it was inflammation of her spinal cord causing immobility & MS like symptoms, she has since gotten to about 80% thankfully) – but I remember wondering if she would live long enough to see me marry, have kids, and be a grandma. Such an awful disease. How special to know Clara gave your Aunt such joy toward the end of her life and how sweet to write down your memories for Clara. My uncle (who we did family vacay with for years – he was Captain Fun) is dying from an incurable disease; it was precious when my 20 month old visited him and my uncle’s face lit up! Sam reached up, hugged & kissed him. I got a picture of the two of them together which I’m so thankful for! We don’t know how long our loved ones will be with us. Great reminder to love on them everyday. Thanks for the beautiful post!
kellee says
I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to a brave, strong woman. You are indeed lucky to have grown up in such a loving, supportive, crazy family and my heart goes out to you all in this difficult time.
Malissa says
What a beautiful post, for a lovely woman. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Mary@TheGoodLife says
Sherry I am so sorry for your loss, your moms loss, the boys loss… Clara’s loss… I am so glad you got to grow up with such a wonderful lady. Love to you all.
Michelle says
What a beautiful tribute to your aunt and an inspiring story about your family.
Many prayers to you all during this difficult time.
Sarah says
Sherry, what a beautiful tribute to your aunt. It really made me think that sometimes unfortunate events are blessings in disguise. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
New Mom on the Blog says
This was just lovely. Thank you so much for sharing. Blessings and prayers to you and your family right now.
Alicia Ferguson says
I lost my aunt yesterday to a long term disease as well. I feel your pain and wish your family love and peace during this difficult time.
JMB says
Sherry, there are no words to offer true comfort; only thoughts and prayers, so consider them yours. Your perspective on your family and all that they brought to your life is inspired. May everyone be so blessed as to have such a beautiful person as your aunt in their life. Peace.
Bree says
So sorry to hear about your loss. What a wonderful way to remember her and to share her life.:)