Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Rachelle says
Sherry – Peace and love to you and your family. Although it sounds like those two prayers are exactly the legacy that your aunt left for all of you – along with a delightful sense of joy and humor for life. My aunt (I am her namesake) also has MS and lives on the other side of the country. After her diagnosis, when parents and sibs suggested moving back east, she said, this is my home, this is the place I love. It hasn’t been easy and there have been times when having family nearby would definitely have made life easier, but she couldn’t imagine herself anywhere else. Bravo to her and your aunt for living life on their own terms.
Jill Robbins says
In the world of blogging/cyber stalking, I feel I know your family, but not in the creepy way! I am so sorry for your loss, and you are lucky to have had her in your life for so long.
Susan says
I’m so sorry for the loss of your lovely Aunt. Your post brought tears to my eyes.
Lesley says
Thinking of you all during this time, Sherry. What a beautiful post and I love getting to hear about your childhood. It sounds so joyful!
jillian says
What a beautiful post. I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. May your Aunt Kay Kay rest in peace!
heather says
I’m sending you so much love and I hope the happy memories trump the sadness. It’s wonderful to have loving family, no matter the structure. It’s also not ever easy to lose someone you love so much. I wrote a similar post when my Pepere passed away, it was ultimately the best thing for him but it was an incredibly sad day for us. Tons and tons and tons of love my dear.
stephanie says
wow…was not expecting that and am now trying not to burst out crying at work! I am so sorry for your loss and know how hard having a loved one with MS can be. It does suck. My dad has the most progressive type of MS and is confined to his motorized wheelchair and recliner (where he sleeps). It’s tough and sometimes hard to see the good in it – thanks for keeping the post positive:)
YoungHouseLove says
Sending lots of love your dad’s way!
xo,
s
Shannon says
Sherry, thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry for the loss that you and your family have experienced. Sending lots of positive thoughts to you and your family. Thank you for the reminder that we should count our blessings and be thankful for our family every single day.
Courtney says
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was an amazing woman who will always be fondly remembered.
I hope and your family are able to spend some time together healing. My thoughts are with you.
Angela says
I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Laura says
I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mother and her sister made the best of their difficulties. God bless all of you.
Btw. I love sock wars. Woo hoo. Teach your sweet little Clara.
Claire B. says
Sending you a virtual hug because you are not only the bossy one (all girls are and dang but them boys need guidance!), I bet you add the sweet too. Please include your beautiful mom in that hug. It is SO lovely to read about the love that we create in families….y
our Aunt Kay was not only a blessing to you but your family was a blessing to her. :)
Janine says
what a wonderful tribute, Sherry. so sorry for your loss.
Sarah says
What an inspiring story Sherry – thanks so much for sharing it with us. Very sad to hear that you lost your beloved aunt. You look a lot like her with that big smile. She lives on in you!
Nikki says
So sorry for your loss Sherry. It’s great that you can honor your aunt in this way and a blessing that have all those happy memories with her. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Amy says
So sorry for your loss Sherry! Keeping you and your family in my thoughts today. *virtual hugs*
RachelSD says
What a sweet post, Sherry… a beautiful gift to your aunt and really your entire family. Thinking of you today.
Stephanie says
Sherry, that was a beautiful tribute to your aunt and it’s amazing that you grew up so close with your family. You brought tears to my eyes and I’m so sorry for your loss.
I lost my grandmother about 2 months ago. She got very sick almost a year ago and while I am sad to have lost her, I’m so relieved she’s no longer in pain. My other grandmother died of MS a year before I was born. I’m sure that your aunt is watching over you every day.
Your story about being so close with your cousins brought a smile to my face though. Me, my mom, aunts and cousin (and my grandmother when she was alive) have a birthday tradition of going out to dinner for each persons day. It’s our way of celebrating together and this year we were discussing how lucky we are to be so close to each other. Not everyone has such close family. It was nice to hear of another family that is just as close, if not closer!
Jean.Aylward says
I am so sorry for the hole in your heart, and your mother’s, right now. Over time, those good memories will come out ahead of most of the hurt. My condolences, Sherry.
Tijana says
I am so sorry Sherry! This is a beautiful post though and a wonderful way to remember your aunt.
Pam says
Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are coming your way and to your mom and cousins! ((((hugs))))
Liz says
So very sorry Sherry. My MIL has MS and is also bedridden, though my FIL puts her in a motorized wheelchair and drives it for her so they can still go places. It’s a terrible disease and so hard to watch someone you love struggle with it.
Hugs to you and your family during this difficult time. Three weeks ago I lost my grandfather, and like you, I was raised a bit unconventionally, since I lived with my grandparents until I was 12 and only saw my biological father maybe once or twice a year. So my grandpa was like my dad. It’s been three weeks and I still cry almost every day, but thankfully I’ve got a precious 7 week old baby to help me focus on the happy.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Liz, I’m so sorry for your loss and so glad for your precious baby to help you focus on the happy. Lots of love headed your MIL’s way too.
xo,
s
Colleen says
Sherry I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my aunt to cancer last year and it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. But having a close-knit family only makes times like these more bearable because you know you always have someone to lean on. My thoughts go out to you today.
xo
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss Colleen.
xo,
s
Krys72599 says
So sorry for you and for your family. Aunt Kay Kay sounds like an awesome woman and I can tell from your post how much you loved her. The good thing is that you DO have so many lovely memories of her and that she’s been an integral part of your family, rather than “just an aunt” on the holiday fringes. I grew up with a cousin, aunt and grandmother who were in my house every weekday in the evening, without fail. Ricky has always been more brother than first cousin. It’s hard to find a card that reads “to my cousin/brother” – I know, because I always try!
Keep your memories of your aunt close to your heart and she’ll always be a part of you – your post was a lovely tribute to her.
Bethany says
Sherry –
I sit here with tears in my eyes at work because of your post today – couldn’t give a girl a little warning, could ya? ;) “Craptastic” is the perfect way to describe MS – my dad was diagnosed with Primary Progressive MS 10 years ago, and I’ve seen it slowly rob him of his strength, his energy, and (hardest for him) his independence. He currently walks with a cane, but has started to fall a lot, which scares the daylights out of me.
I’m pregnant with my dad’s first grandchild, and I want so badly for him to see this baby grow up, graduate, get married, etc. I’m thankful for people like your brother who are making an effort to fight this god-awful disease.
YoungHouseLove says
Sending so much love to you and your dad! Here’s hoping my brother cracks this case.
xo,
s
Lois Fundis says
Sherry: I’m very sorry for your loss, and can pretty-much relate to your mixed family. I have two half-sibs (my dad’s from his first marriage) and am the oldest of four sisters (dad and mom’s together) all born inside five years, much like you, your brother and your cousin/brothers. And my dad’s sister lived only a couple of miles away when we were kids and they were over to our house a lot, or we at theirs, and their kids were the same ages more-or-less as us and we called them our other brother and sister. My parents and all their siblings and in-laws are gone now. I miss them a lot.
Also, MS *is* a sucky disease, and apparently your Aunt Kay Kay fought it long and bravely, all the more reason to remember her with love and to honor her memory.
Karyl says
I am so sorry for you loss, but I’m grateful to read how much your Aunt was able to bless you and your family. It’s sad how many perfectly healthy people squander their lives, but your Kay Kay spent hers nobly and well in the midst of a physical battle. Praying for you and yours.
Stacia Reagan says
Hugs to you. MS has just recently invaded our lives as well. My baby sister (28 yrs. old) was just diagnosed in the last 2 weeks. Other than the MRI showing old and new lesions we don’t have much more information.
Thank you for sharing what a rich and rewarding life that can still be lead with this disease. It certainly sparks hope and I really appreciate that.
Bless you and your wonderful family.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your sister’s diagnosis but so glad that medicine has come so far! I hope she lives a long full life and MS is nothing but a blip on the radar!
xo,
s
Victoria says
Memory eternal.
stephanie says
Such a beautiful post. It sounds like your mom and aunt built an amazing family unit, with the family they had. And it’s a true testament to the fact that even in situations that people might not think of as “normal” kids (and adults) can flourish and be great people. I’m so sorry for your whole family’s loss.
Tatyana says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. This is a wonderful post to remember a loved one. Thank you for sharing. Thinking of you and your family…
Brielle says
Sherry,
I am so sorry for your loss. This post is a lovely tribute to your aunt and the family you all created together.
I love that Clara will be able to read all of this like a diary from her parents and learn about your lives through it.
Melissa says
Oh, not a bummer of a post at all. Very love filled and a beautifully painted picture of a childhood.
Condolences to you and those around you.
Jen says
So sorry for your family’s loss, and what a sweet post to celebrate your aunt’s life. (And that first pic — it’s like looking at Clara in a brown wig!)
Michelle says
Beautiful tribute – praying for your family during this time
Rebecca (2) says
Having an extended family member(s) move in because of an illness is a blessing in disguise – you get to know them like your immediate family. My grandpa moved in with us in high school but passed away a couple years later. Although I wish he was still here today, I got to spend time with my grandpa that most don’t. I still think about how after his death his minister told our family about much he talked about us and how he thought my sibilings and I were so special.
Best wishes to you and your family, Sherry.
Amelia says
Love and prayers for your family. Lost my Aunt Liz to MS 7 years ago.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry for your loss Amelia.
xo
s
Heather K says
What a LOVELY post! I’m so sorry for your loss.
Jessica says
That was beautiful Sherry, and I am so sorry for your family’s loss.
Aunts are special, aren’t they? I have sisters and my mom close by, but when it comes to helping me at the drop of a hat, bravely insisting on taking my son with Autism to a restaurant or staying overnight so my hubby and I can get away…it’s my Aunt.
Alex W. says
A beautifully written memorial to your aunt. May you always remember the good times.
Prayers to your family from Missouri.
Courtney says
Sherry,
I am so sorry for your loss.
I have always said that family shouldn’t be about labels.. not about who you are actually related to or how far removed you are.. Friends have become family in my life and its my belief that isn’t about how someone is related to you… its about the love in your hearts that you have for one another.
I am sending a giant sympathy hug to you and your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.
Radhika Paruchuri says
Sherry, Very sorry for your loss and our deepest sympathy to you and your family. may her memories bring peace to you and your family.
Warm hugs!
Kait says
I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom has MS and it’s a difficult journey to take in life. 98% of the time she’s in perfect health, but during an attack she loses all mobility in her hands and has difficulty walking. But amazingly, she never complains. She’s still cracking jokes and making us smile.
I take her once a month to the hospital for treatment (which thankfully keep getting better!) and I’ve gotten to know other people with MS and they’re all the nicest, happiest people. Something about this disease just gives you perspective on what really matters.
Jenn says
Thank you for sharing your story. It was wonderful to hear about your family and where you’ve come from. I wish your family all the best at this difficult time.
Erica F says
Wow, what an amazing and beautiful tributary post. Anything else that I could say would only take away from the memory of a beautiful life.
Blessings & comfort to your family.
Athena says
I’m so sorry to hear about this. She sounds like an amazing woman who helped make you the person you are today. I think part of why writing is amazing is how it can give a small sense of immortality to someone’s life once its ended. Thank you for sharing with all of us.
Barbara says
What a wonderful tribute to what was obviously a wonderful woman. I’m so sorry that you’ve lost her, but she’ll live forever in the memories she made with you and your brothers.
Ana says
So sorry for your loss, Sherry. There are all kinds of families in the world and all that matters is that the people in them care about each other and make each other’s lives richer. Your “non-traditional” family gave your aunt a wealth of happiness in her time on Earth. She leaves a wonderful legacy in the family who will always remember her with love.
Danielle E says
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that remembering all of the good times and laughing together as a family can help you through your grief. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jocelyn says
I am so sorry for the loss of your loved one. Thank you for sharing your memories with us. What a blessing to have had her in your life in such a special way. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today.
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Kahlil Gibran