Young House Love

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Love & A Few Tears

Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.

Dan Me

I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.

I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.

Me Adam

But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.

My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?

Pool Pic

My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,”  my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.

It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.

Karate Pic

My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.

Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.

Table Shot

We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.

Comments

  3. Valerie says

    I’m sorry for your loss. MS is a difficult disease to watch someone go through and for someone to live through. My aunt had MS and it’s so hard seeing such a vibrant independent person want to be able to do things that their body rejects.

    When my grandfather passed away from prostate cancer I looked up qoutes that would help me grieve and I always share this one.

    Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal.
    Love leaves memories that no one can steal. ~Irish Proverb

    Reply

  4. Dawn says

    This post really touched me! My mom passes away 12
    weeks ago from lung cancer. We are a close knit Italian
    family and have many memories of growing up with my
    cousins. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts
    and prayers!!

    Reply

  5. alice says

    Sherry, I’m so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts go out to you and your family. May you find comfort in the fond memories you hold of your Aunt Kay Kay. xoxo.

    Reply

  7. Lizzy says

    I’m so sorry about your sweet aunt. My dad has MS and I can honestly say that I HATE that’s wretched disease.

    Again, my condolences.

    Reply

  8. Maria says

    Hugs to you and your family during this trying time. You’re in my prayers!

    Growing up with my mom, aunt, and brothers as well, I always received questions and more questions about our living situation. I grew to understand that family isn’t always immediate family. It’s those people you can count on at 2am in the morning when something goes wrong. It’s loving your niece and nephew like they are your own children. Yes, we may not have grown up in traditional homes, but I’m am sure I wouldn’t have had it any other way (as I’m sure you feel as well).

    Reply

  10. Julie says

    What a lovely tribute for such a beautiful woman. I can’t believe how much your aunt looks like your mom – both beautiful! My deepest sympathies to you and your mom, but especially to her sons David and Darius; I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a parent. Love and prayers for you all.

    Reply

  13. Jo says

    Thanks for sharing, and I am so sorry for your, your sibling’s and you mom’s loss yesterday. I hope everyone is doing okay today.

    Reply

  14. Jackie says

    God Love Aunt KK. What a lovely post Sherry. I will contact my family today. Thanks you for all your words today, they touched my heart. I am very sorry for your loss. Peace be with you.

    Reply

  16. LisaP says

    I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your story with us – you are lucky to have such a close, unique family.

    Reply

  17. Elizabeth says

    There’s a phrase I love that your post has captured perfectly:
    “The sadness now is because of the happiness then.”

    Reply

  19. cc says

    This was a lovely explanation of your family. It sounds like you grew up with a great attitude and surrounded by people who really loved each other. I’m sorry to hear of your aunt’s passing– I went through that last year after my grandma had been ill for a long time, and I came away with the hope that if I ever face a devastating disease, I can do it with the courage and humor she showed. God bless.

    Reply

  21. Sanja says

    I am very sorry for your loss. And am amazed at the strength you had to write this beautiful post that celebrates your aunt and your family. It feels as if she is still with you, and I believe that she is :) Take care.

    Reply

  22. Megan says

    My mom has been fighting MS for nearly two decades, and it is indeed a craptastic disease. But I’m always amazed at how MS patients are selfless and have such a positive outlook amidst all that they endure. For those interested, the National MS Society is a fine organization that funds research and advocacy programs around the country!

    Reply

  23. Brooke Buckingham says

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. That was such a beautiful story you told and what a blessing it was that you essentially got two moms who both loved you very much. Thank you for sharing your story. While I love your blog for it’s DIY info, it’s always nice feel like I’m getting to know you guys on a more ‘personal’ level. :)

    Reply

  25. Lindsey says

    $herdog, thank you for always being so relate-able and so transparent to your faithful followers. I, too, had a “dysfunctionally” functional childhood, and it’s comforting to hear your stories and not feel so different after all. Your Aunt will always be with you, make sure you pay attention. Even if it’s a small rainstorm in the middle of a sunny day, or a butterfly landing on the windowsill you’re staring out of, she’ll be there….still smiling. You’re in my thoughts today.

    Reply

  27. Mindy says

    Whew! What a tear-jerker. I created a memorial site for my dad shortly after we suddenly lost him in 2001 just to post memories and keep his spirit alive (sadly outdated now, but we keep up with a memorial page on facebook). What a beautiful tribute and how lucky you were to grow up in such a loving and fun household! May her laughs live on.

    Reply

  31. Jesse says

    As an attorney currently thinking about how difficult it’s going to be to keep up this pace and have kids, I read this and thought about what a blessing it must have been to your mom to know her sister was there to help raise you guys. It’s completely unfair it had to happen through illness, but I know how grateful I would feel knowing my kids were coming home each day to someone I loved and trusted while I was at work. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

  33. Emily says

    Thank you for taking the time out of your grieving to write a beautiful post about your family and Aunt. I am sure it is healing to write about the loss of your aunt, and I am amazed at your ability to write so eloquently so soon, especially since she sounds more like a mom than an aunt in your relationship! My prayers for your family.

    Reply

  35. heyruthie says

    i’m so sorry for your loss. i’m not a “crier” but this post did make me cry. MS is, as you say, “craptastic.” She fought for a long time!

    it is also such a relief to hear your warm recollections of your “non-traditional” childhood, because my husband and I separated 9 months ago, and I am now raising 4 children on my own, and I’m SO.STINKIN.SCARED. for them. People tell you awful things: “kids from divorced homes go to jail…use drugs….become delinquents….yadda yadda yadda.” this post was a ray of hope in a way for me, that you not only “survived” but thrived. My parents are very involved, and it helps me to feel more “okay” about that too–instead of beating myself up and thinking I have to “go it alone.”

    Reply

    • YoungHouseLove says

      I think my brother and I were so much happier when our parents separated. There was no more yelling, we got two rooms to decorate and fill with toys, and we just got more family (I wouldn’t ever have had a cute little half brother if my dad hadn’t remarried). I’m sure your kids will turn out amazing.

      xo,
      s

    • Krys72599 says

      heyruthie,
      I am a firm believer in “love trumps all.” If your kids know they are loved, they’ll do just fine, and with support from your extended family, they will learn to deal with their dad, the divorce, and all the rest of what comes along. Hopefully they’ll have the same support and love from their dad they are getting from you.

    • heyruthie says

      thank you for the kind words, guys. i’m still in the “ulgy stage” right now, since the kid’s dad is still a very, very angry person. but our own home is so much more peaceful now. i’d forgotten what a peaceful home could feel like. i’m starting to remember again, despite the sadness–and that is worth more than words can describe. i think my kids are seeing that firsthand, and that gives me hope.

      Sherry, thanks for having the courage to write about this part of your life. With a blog that you know your family can read, it can be hard. But so many of us benefit from your willingness to share. It’s not always all about DIY ;-)

    • Alison says

      I completely agree with Krys! As someone whose parents divorced in my teens (long overdue), I speak from experience in saying that it just made things so much more peaceful. There wasn’t fighting anymore or walking on eggshells. As long as kids know they are loved, supported and you’re there for them, they will thrive. Good luck on your journey!

  36. Jennifer says

    I’m sorry to hear of your aunt’s passing, but am so happy that you got to share your lives together. She sounds like a wonderful woman, and I hope she is at peace. You are in my thoughts, Sherry.

    Reply

  37. Nicole says

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a very special aunt in my life too – she was one of my absolute favorite people. She passed away about a month ago and it was so difficult on me and my family. Wishing you peace.

    Reply

  38. Natalie @ A Turtle's Life for Me says

    So sorry for you and your whole family’s loss.

    When my grandfather died 2 years ago, it helped me to think of this quote, “Don’t think that he lost the fight with cancer. The fight was living a good life and that he won.”

    It sounds like your aunt won her fight too.

    Reply

  41. Katherine says

    Very sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was an incredible woman who never let this disease ruin her fun!

    Reply

  43. Lindsay says

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My father-in-law has had MS for the past decade & continues to fight every day. It’s a terrible disease & affects all involved.

    Thoughts for you & your family.

    Reply

  46. Sherry from BC says

    Such a lovely post. Family is the foundation of my life as well as yours. I lost my wonderful Mom over 20 years ago and still feel the loss today but I am ever grateful that she was my Mom. Take care of yourself and your family and you will weather this rough period. Your aunt was a beautiful woman who will be missed. Remember you have a huge extended family out in the blogosphere who are thinking of you.

    Reply

  48. Kelly.R says

    I am so sorry for your loss! but I just wanted to share that I’m also lovingly called Aunt KK! I even got to live with my niece for around 6 months as her nanny. Apparently she now says “Kay Kaaaay” almost every time she cries. When I babysit and her parents get home she yells NO! at them and runs to me. I hope she always feels this way towards me, like the way you feel for your Aunt Kay Kay. She will be two in a few months and was the inspiration for my etsy store auntkaykay.etsy.com! I know I am not your Aunt Kay Kay, but I thought in a weird sort of way… knowing there was another in the world might provide you with a bit of comfort!

    Reply

  50. Care says

    Oh Sherry I am so sorry. Your Aunt sounds like a wonderful woman. I think you were truly blessed to have had the chance to grow up with her and your cousins. I’ll pray for the ease of your family’s heartache.

    Reply

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