Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Brenda says
I’m so very sorry for you loss, Sherry. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful memories with us.
Jennifer says
My mother has been bedridden with MS for the last 4 years, so I know how devastating this disease can be. I’m so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
YoungHouseLove says
Lots of love coming your mom’s way.
xo,
s
Rachel says
Your post brought me to tears. I’m so sorry for your loss. MS is a horrible disease. I’m so glad that you were able to spend so much of your life with her, she sounds like a wonderful person.
Gabriella @ Our Life In Action says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. Last May I lost my father. I never realized what hurt and pain truly was until that day. Every day I think of him, every day I talk to him, and every day I cherish every second I have with all of my family.
You and your family are in my prayers.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss Gabriella.
xo,
s
Heather {ModernMealsforTwo} says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman and she clearly had an impact on you.
Also, you took karate?! That’s awesome!
YoungHouseLove says
Ten years of it! Lots of fun. Still enjoying the occasional back kick. Haha.
xo,
s
Jenelle says
I am so sorry for your loss.
Brenda says
I’m so very sorry for you loss, Sherry. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful memories with us.
Erin says
I am so sorry for your loss Sherry. This is a beautiful post and a beautiful tribute to your sweet Aunt Kay Kay.
Stacey says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. Sending you and your family much love. Thank you for sharing.
pri says
So sorry for your loss. Having grown up in a family where my aunt lived with us, I can understand how much of a loss this would be.
Veronica says
Sherry, So very sorry for your loss. Praying for your family during this difficult time.
Kim @ Wonderings says
Sherry, thank you so much for sharing! There are some beautiful sentiments here. MS is a terrible thing but it sounds like you have years of great memories (and pictures) with your Aunt.
Hibbel says
What a great woman your aunt. Your words reflect a happy childhood for your aunt was a great addition. My condolences to you and your lovely family. Daniela
Linda J says
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Aunt Sherry. Your tribute to hear was very beautiful. She sounds like she was an extraordinary woman. I am the oldest of six children and I love my big family too. My grandma died many years ago from MS. I didn’t really understand what was wrong with her but she was precious to her grandchildren even though she was bedridden. My prayers are sent to your entire family. Thanks for sharing this with your Blog family. Blessings to you.
Mara Smith says
So very sorry for your loss!
Ann Marie says
I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute that seems to really capture her spirit and love of life! That is such a nice thing to have for Clara. My prayers are with you and your family.
alisha says
What a lovely and touching story. I am sorry to hear about your Aunts passing, but what an amazing woman she was! I totally relate with the way you grew up. I was raised by my grandparents so my aunts and uncles are like brothers and sisters to me. Its always weird to explain to people when they find out I have been calling my uncle (who passed away from cancer a few years ago) my brother. But man what a cool way to grow up, right? Since my uncle / brother had battled brain cancer for so long, much like your aunts illness, I strongly associated his passing with the transformation of butterflies. His passing was his transformation into something free and beautiful. We had a butterfly release at his ceremony and I found this lovely poem:
A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam
And for a brief moment its glory
and beauty belong to our world
But then it flies again
And though we wish it could have stayed…
We feel lucky to have seen it.
I hope this thought comforts you right now and for years to come. God bless you guys. I am sure your aunts in his hands now.
YoungHouseLove says
Such a sweet poem. Thanks for all the kind words today guys. You lift me up.
xo,
s
Carly says
So sorry for your loss Sherry….take care
Erin says
Thank you for sharing this story Sherry and I am so sorry for your loss.
My Aunt died in 1997 of MS and my great-Aunt died of the disease several years after that. MS has hit my family right in the gut and everyday I wish there was something I could do to eradicate from the earth. It is truly a horrible disease. Having it so prevalent in my family I always worried that I would get it, or that someday my daughter will get it. Its truly the greatest fear I have.
Shortly after my brother got engaged back in 2007, his then soon-to-be sister in law was diagnosed with MS. A roommate of mine from high school was diagnosed shortly after having her second son. My generation has reached the age of diagnosis and it breaks my heart every time I hear someone else has been diagnosed.
I hope your family can celebrate her life and the love she shared (just as you have done here). God bless :)
YoungHouseLove says
It’s also one of my biggest fears. My brother actually got his doctorate of chemistry to work on a cure. So proud! Medicine has come a long way, so that’s what gives me faith and keeps the fear at bay.
xo,
s
Randa says
I totally understand that fear, so was encouraged when I saw this: http://www.elanaspantry.com/getting-diagnosed-with-multiple-sclerosis/
(The link to the Terry Wahls video at the end is priceless).
Hope it helps!
YoungHouseLove says
What a great post. Love it.
xo,
s
Shannon says
I’m so sorry for your loss. You Aunt Kay Kay sounds like a wonderful person!
Ashley says
I am so sorry for your loss Sherry. Thank you for sharing your story with us all. It was very touching and quite a reality check. I too come from a divorced home and love the fact that my family isn’t traditional. Family is the people around you that love and support you. It doesn’t necessarily have to only be your mom, dad, and siblings. It can be so much more and I think your story summed it up really nicely.
Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
Steph H. says
I am so sorry for your loss. Your story of your family reminds me so much of my own. I am the 3rd of 4 biological children, but my parents moved one of my cousins in after she went through some hard stuff with her parents. We also moved in 2 of my borther’s friends while they were in high school because they also had crummy family issues. It is so wonderful that you had the opportunity to live with your aunt al those years. My niece and nephew also call my sister Auntie Kay-Kay and she’s an awesome women too…must be in the name.
Gabriella @ Our Life In Action says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. Last May I lost my father. I never realized what hurt and pain truly was until that day. Every day I think of him, every day I talk to him, and every day I cherish every second I have with my family.
Your aunt sounds like one in a million. You and your family are in my prayers.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry for your loss Gabriella.
xo,
s
Krys72599 says
Gabriella, I get it. My dad passed 25 years ago and there’s not one day that goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him. Sometimes the dishes settle in the sink, and I’ll think, “Hi, dad!” or I’ll find something that was misplaced and I’ll say, “Thanks, Dad!” He’s been a part of my life every day, even though he wasn’t around to have dinner or coffee with; that’s a comforting thought for people who have lost loved ones.
John @ Our Home from Scratch says
So sorry for your loss. You guys will be in our prayers. God Bless.
WendyMI says
So sorry for your loss, Sherry!
Today would have been my Mom’s 68th birthday, so I’m feeling particularly sentimental and mushy. But I think your post is a wonderful tribute to an obviously wonderful woman. Cherish those memories and smiles.
(And your retort to the kid oh so long ago rocked!)
Lissa says
Sherry,
I am so sorry for your and your families loss. May God wrap you in his loving arms during this difficult time. May the memories of your beautiful Aunt keep you company today and always. She sounds like an amazing and strong woman and living with her and your Mom must be why you are such a strong woman as well. Hugs to you and John and Clara.
Katie says
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a moving tribute to your aunt!
Alexis says
Oh Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so difficult to lose someone that made such an impact in your life. Your aunt is smiling down on you and your family, and I’m sure is so proud of you! I’m saying a little prayer for all of you!
Erica says
What a beautiful story. Sherry, I’m so sorry for the loss of your aunt. It sounds like she was a wonderful person.
Kasey says
I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry. My prayers go out to you and your family.
Skye says
I am so sorry for your loss! I will be praying for you and your family.
p.s. Do you have a black belt? Very cool, $herdog!
YoungHouseLove says
I never actually got my black belt after ten years of karate (it was a really hard school, so most folks just made it to brown belt- which I was). My brother went on to get his black belt though! Proud sister.
xo,
s
Caitlin C says
So sorry for your loss. Take the rest of the day off to enjoy your family. We are thinking about you!
Kristy says
Beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman.
I am so sorry for your loss but happy for you and Kay Kay that you were able to be such a valuable and special part of each other’s lives.
Lindsay says
Oh, Sherry, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. She sounds like she was an amazing woman! Loved this post. Hugs to you!
Angela says
What a beautiful tribute. She sounds amazing and what a wonderful, crazy, loving childhood. Your mom must be so broken over this, too. I think it is great you all lived together and took care of each other. I am so sad to hear about your loss. I hope you find the space and support you need to grieve.
Amy @ a new old house says
Oh Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Prayers & hugs going out to you & your family.
Nicolle says
I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was an amazing person.
Ann says
What a touching tribute to a lovely lady. Thank you for sharing your perspective on mixed families. I know that I love mine (3 oldest of 9 from various marriages).
jeannette says
xxx
amor manet. (love remains.)
bethany says
i am riding 150 miles the weekend of august 4th to raise funds to find a cure for MS. i ride for my mom, as well as friends and friend’s moms. i will ride in memory of your aunt kay kay as well. my heart goes out to you during this difficult time.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Bethany. Making me cry. Thank you.
xo,
s
Amanda says
I think that this was such a great way to remember your wonderful aunt. Tears happen, but the memories of all the good times are what get us through tough times. We recently had a very good friend pass away, and at his memorial service, my husband started softly laughing while they were playing “My Wish”. We all looked at him like he was crazy, but his response was, “I can’t think of a single time he didn’t make me smile”. It sounds like you are doing almost the same thing by remembering the good times. We will be keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers!!
Piper says
Beautiful post. Your Aunt was a warrior of a woman!
Jane says
She left this world knowing that she had the love of a daughter. I am sure you were for her the daughter she never had. May she rest in peace and continue to look over her sons and daughter.
Barbara says
So sorry, Sherry.
Anna says
So sorry to read of your aunt’s passing. What a wonderful experience to grow up with her! My hope is that those vivid memories will warm your heart forever.
eva says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like having her in your home growing up meant the world to you. Your story has truly touched my heart. It made me laugh, smile and cry.
My Uncle battled with MS and sadly passed too. It’s such a tragic disease.
Hugs to you and your family.
beth says
Sherry – Echoing the other comments, I am very sorry for your loss. I feel you though, my mom has MS and was diagnosed about 10 years ago – during my freshman year in college. She hasn’t had as dramatic of changes as other people I know with MS, but over time things have changed and she now uses a cane everyday and is affected by the heat and balances issues so much more. But no matter what – love is love. You do what you can to help out when needed, give independence when desired, and laugh as much as possible. Celebrate her life and the great memories you made together and the time you spent enjoying each other.
Dana says
Thank you for sharing your aunt with us. I am so sorry for your loss and glad that you have some many wonderful memories to remember and pass on. My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family.
Karen M. says
My sincere sympathy to you and your family.
Thank you for sharing.
Kristy says
So sorry to hear of your aunt’s passing. Sending much love to your family.
I lost my mom when I was 9 to cancer. My dad did the best he could, but my aunts were the ones who really stepped up and mothered me (and still do!). I can never really repay them for all they have done in my life. Such a blessing.