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Young House Love » Random » Love & A Few Tears

| By Sherry Petersik | July 19, 2012 | 1,227 Comments

Love & A Few Tears

Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.

Dan Me

I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.

I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.

Me Adam

But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.

My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?

Pool Pic

My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,”  my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.

It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.

Karate Pic

My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.

Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.

Table Shot

We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.

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Filed Under: Random

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Comments

  1. Leah says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    I’m very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were very lucky to have another adult so key in your life, and I think some of the nice must have rubbed off :) I hope I can be special like that to my nieces. Take care, love to all your family xx

    Reply
  2. Heidi says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    So sorry for your family’s loss. It’s wonderful though that you have such great memories of time spent with her. Your family will be in my prayers

    Reply
  3. Crystal S says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Very sorry for your loss. Your aunt and KatieB look a lot like in the pictures.

    Reply
  4. Brianna says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Your Aunt Kay Kay sounds like such a wonderful woman. Thinking and praying for you during this time.

    Reply
  5. Heidi P. says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    I’m so sorry Sherry. How lucky are you to have known such a wonderful woman. I know it’s hard to lose someone you love, but for them, it’s great. Think of all the people she gets to see again! I know there’s life after this. It’s hard for us because we miss them. But for them – they’re busy and reunions are sweet. And they are nearer to us than we realize. She’s not gone forever. Just away for a while. I promise, you will see her again. :)

    Reply
  6. Laurie says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Sherry I am so sorry for your loss and send my condolences to your family. I particularly feel for your Mom because I lost my sister 7 months ago in a very shocking and unexpected manner and the only way I can describe the loss of a sibling is that it feels weird. She was the oldest, I am the baby…my role in the family hasn’t changed but does this make my brother the oldest now?? You wrote a lovely tribute to your Aunt and what more can any of us ask for than to be lovingly remembered and honored by those we left behind? I know your Aunt is proud of the woman you have turned into from the little girl she loved. XOXO

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      July 19, 2012 at 8:40 pm

      Aw thanks Laurie. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m definitely calling my mom all the time. Too much probably. Haha. She and her sisters don’t feel strong enough to do a reading so I’m going to try to sniffle my way through one (my brother will do the other one). I can’t wait to be all together with family though, I’m sure we’ll have lots of memories to share.

      xo,
      s

  7. Kristina says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. That was a beautiful tribute to Aunt Kay Kay and I know it will bring at least a bit of warmth and comfort to all of her loved ones who read it. Praying for you all. XO

    Reply
  8. Dorothy M. says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    So Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing such beautiful memories! What an awesome upbringing! Thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply
  9. Krysti says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    Oh Sherry, I am so sorry. My dear niece (who has spina bifida) calls me Aunt Kay Kay. Your post reminded me how important aunts can be in our lives — I only hope I can be as special an “Aunt Kay Kay” to my niece as your Aunt Kay Kay was to you. Know that all of us out here are thinking about you and your family.

    Reply
  10. Sarah says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my half-sister to chronic-progressive MS about 10 years ago. My heart goes out to you and your family.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      July 19, 2012 at 8:32 pm

      I’m so sorry Sarah. That must have been so hard. Thanks for all the kind words everyone. You’re the best.

      xo,
      s

  11. Kate says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry. That was a beautiful post in memory of your Aunt. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
    *hugs!*

    Reply
  12. kristy says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    What a lovely tribute to your aunt. That side of the family definitely has a strong (and beautiful) gene pool – you, your mom, and your aunt all look quite a bit alike. That’s something you will always have!

    Reply
  13. Janna says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    So sorry for your loss. Thank you for the reminder to appreciate and enjoy the ones we are surrounded by and to be positive and happy regardless of our circumstances. So inspiring to see a woman live the best life she could even with such a terrible disease.

    Reply
  14. Cara says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Sheri, my condolences and virtual hugs to you today. This is a sweet and loving tribute to someone who meant so much to you while growing up.

    Reply
  15. ethel says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    So sorry for your loss. Think of how many people in the world now know about your Aunt because of the platform you have created with your blog. That’s pretty special and amazing!

    Reply
  16. Andrea says

    July 19, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    I don’t comment often (even though I wait for every post with baited breath! You guys are awesome and have inspired me and my husband so much in our own DIY journey!), but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. Your post this morning was so touching. Thanks for allowing us to get a peek into your life and your wonderful memories! Praying that you and your family will experience God’s grace and peace as you deal with the loss of your aunt. I hope, even in the midst of your grief, that you will enjoy reliving all the stories/memories of your times with her! God Bless!

    Reply
  17. Leanne says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    So sorry for your loss. I also had a special aunt that was like a second Mom to me and she died of cancer when I was 16. But the memories are always with us and my kids know of her because I keep those memories alive. My prayers are with you and your family.

    Reply
  18. Emma says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    So sorry to hear about this Sherry – what a beautifully strong female role model you had growing up, what a gift.
    My husband’s mother who I love dearly and as my own mother has been battling MS since before my husband was born. They made the decision to continue their family even after she was diagnosed and I’m so grateful they did! She inspires and amazes me every day and is another beautifully strong role model for my nieces and our future children. MS does not define our family, we won’t let it. We are lucky in that Wendy’s MS has somewhat stagnated in recent years and is not aggressive due to a lot of lifestyle and diet choices. Basically, it’s a bitch of a disease. I admire and thank God for people like your brother working towards beating it.

    “Do not stand at my grave and weep;
    I am not there. I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow.
    I am the diamond glints on snow.
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
    I am the gentle Autumn rain.
    When you awaken in the morning’s hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circled flight.
    I am the soft stars that shine at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry;
    I am not there. I did not die.”

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      July 19, 2012 at 8:43 pm

      Beautiful. Thanks you Emma.

      xo,
      s

  19. Jessica says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    You are amazing, Sherry. Lots of love to you and your family.

    Reply
  20. Elisabeth says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Sherry,I´m very sorry for your loss.Your family
    will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Elisabeth

    Reply
  21. Kara says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    Sherry – I’m so so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. The family we make…the one not defined by the traditional boundaries of walls and doors but by the love we share for one another…that’s what makes us who we are and you certainly have described a fantastic family. May your heart find both peace and strength in this difficult time. Clara will so appreciate this post as she grows older and you share memories of her great Aunt with her.

    Reply
  22. Skooks says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    So sorry for your loss, Sherry. What a sweet tribute to your beautiful aunt. Thanks for sharing it with us. Hugs.

    Reply
  23. Keeley @ My Life on a Plate says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    Sherry, thank you so much for sharing this story. I also had a non-traditional childhood (for a host of other reasons) and as an adult I sometimes find it difficult to believe that I’m happily married for 7 years with a baby on the way. I also get pangs of jealousy when I meet people from “normal” families. It means a lot to read a story like this from someone like you (happy, balanced family life, great career) because I just assumed you had a “perfect” childhood. Thank you for sharing the memories of your aunt… beautiful story. May she rest in peace.

    Reply
  24. Barbara says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    Your mom made a wise choice in having Aunt Kay live with you. It made it much easier for your mom to work and it gave Aunt Kay a reason to live as she was very much needed in your family.

    Thank you for sharing such a personal story and long live Aunt Kay in your hearts and minds.

    Reply
  25. Natalie says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Oh my goodness, Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. :(

    How sweet of you to dedicate this post to her. She sounds like a wonderful woman! Praying for you & your family during this difficult time.

    Reply
  26. Karen says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Beautiful story! My parents got divorced when I was 3 and my dad married my step mom when I was in high school. Her 2 kids are about 10 years older than me so I still consider myself an only child. You should see the looks I get when I talk about my nieces, who I totally 100% claim as my nieces even if I don’t really feel like their dad is my brother. I’m sorry for your loss, but glad that you had the chance to form such a wonderful relationship with your aunt!

    Reply
  27. sara says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    I’m sure that she would be proud to know that your memory of her is a happy one, and your way of sharing her with the world is so kind, so pleasant. Thank you for sharing this, and happy thoughts your family’s way during this tough time.

    Reply
  28. maryb says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    Im so glad clara was able to meet her! im sorry your hurting sherry and i hope you take some time to grieve for yourself. thank you for sharing your story :)

    Reply
  29. Krista says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Sending love, positivity, and light your way Sherry, on this difficult day. *HUGS!!!*

    Reply
  30. Monica says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    I’m also very sorry for your loss. Your family sounds like a lot of fun.

    Reply
  31. Carol says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Beautiful post, Sherry! I’m sorry for your loss, but what a storehouse of memories!

    Reply
  32. Steph says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    Oh I am SO sorry for your loss. Your aunt seems like a wonderful person who seems to have been such an important influence on your life. Thank you for sharing her and your story with us.
    I know that you guys would never ask for donations, but I just made a donation to the National MS Society for your aunt. I am hesitant to even put that, but I just wanted to encourage anyone else to (who made it this far in the comments even!) who is able to donate. The link for the National MS Society donation page is here (http://www.nationalmssociety.org/donate/index.aspx) I have an aunt who also has MS and I know what a toll it can take on your family. It’s so great that your brother is now working to find a cure!
    You guys are so positive and do a lot to make your readers’ day happier, so keeping your family in my thoughts is the least I can do.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      July 19, 2012 at 8:42 pm

      Oh Steph, that is so so kind of you. It means more than you know.

      xo,
      s

  33. Cassie says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    That was such a beautiful tribute to your Aunt, Sherry. I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry and family. May Aunt Kay Kay rest in peace.

    Reply
  34. Katy (Savvy in the City) says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    This is a great, heartfelt post. I love hearing about other people who live the “modern family” life with big happy/complex families. I have two brothers, one sister, two half brothers, three step sisters and three step brothers (from both parents being remarried). But you know what? We have one helluva good time.

    Your aunt sounds like she was a lovely lady – and this post is a great tribute.

    Katy aka Savvy in the City

    Reply
  35. Katie says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    So sorry to hear about your Auntie! My Aunties are very special to me so I can only imagine what you are going through. You were so blessed to have such a wonderful opportunity to grow up with her there. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the whole family. Love ya!

    Reply
  36. ElleX says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    Condolences to you and your family, Sherry. May you find peace in the lovely memories of your Aunt Kay Kay. (((Hugs))) to you.

    Reply
  37. Ashley T says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    What sadness you must be feeling today. And what peace your aunt must be feeling. Will pray for you and your family as you grieve.

    Reply
  38. Robyn says

    July 19, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m so glad your aunt has moved on to a better place with no sickness or pain. My uncle was diagnosed with MS a few years before I was born, so I always knew him with it. He had been a Navy Seal in Vietnam. He died 2 years ago.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      July 19, 2012 at 8:28 pm

      Oh Robyn, I’m so sorry for your loss.

      xo,
      s

  39. Farrah says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    Oh, Sherry. I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing with your blog fam. You will be in my thoughts.

    Reply
  40. Donna says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Dear Sherry,
    What a lovely way to honor your dear Aunt’s memory. How lucky that she was able to see the wonderful loving woman that you are today, and see you happy with John, Clara and Burger. I am sure she is a peace now, no longer in pain. Thanks for sharing your tribute to a person who will always be a part of your life.

    Reply
  41. Kitty says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Your have given a wonderful tribute to your second Mom or Mom-in-waiting. How wonderful that you have three moms and dad, such a full life. You resemble your Mom and quite a bit of Mom2 especially in the older photographs.
    I am very sorry for your loss, it must be a very difficult for you and your entire extended family.
    Kitty

    Reply
  42. tosha says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Oh, Sherry. My heart breaks for you and your family. What a wonderful way to grow up. Hugs to all of you.

    Reply
  43. Anna, Sydney says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Having me in tears. She sounds like an awesome lady and it sounds like she blessed a lot of lives. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply
  44. Kristin F says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Sherry (and John, Clara, and Burger too),

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Special people always remain in our hearts, and your aunt will always be in yours.

    Reply
  45. Gilit says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    I’m so sorry. It feels a little strange writing that to someone I’ve never met, but it’s like people you see on TV all the time: I read your posts so in my head I think I know you.
    My grandmother died recently and for the first time that I can ever remember, I saw a lot of my cousins. We live all over the world and there are family “politics” that have kept us from knowing each other, but the blessing in this situation was finding each other. We share a ridiculous family sense of humor and I wouldn’t trade these new relationships for anything because no one and I mean no one gets this family like the people in it.
    I hope you and your family find peace and closeness in this time.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      July 19, 2012 at 8:35 pm

      I love that. I’m really looking forward to seeing the whole family. I think we’ll have all sorts of fun stories to share.

      xo,
      s

  46. Audrey says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    Oh Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. Your Aunt sounds like a wonderful woman, and your family was lucky to have her in your lives! I’m glad she won’t be in pain anymore, as much as it hurts for those she left behind. Blessed be.

    Reply
  47. Jess says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    So sorry for your loss. Your post is a beautiful tribute to who sounds like a very beautiful and joyful woman, and how lucky you were to grow up with her. Your sadness will fade, but your 30 years of happy memories will last forever. Thinking of you!

    Reply
  48. Andrea says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    Sherry I’m so sorry. My mom’s twin sister has MS and, like you, she helped raise my sister and I. She was the one who picked us up from school, and she was always slipping us $20 bills when my mom wasn’t looking. She was the first person I told when I realized I was pregnant at 20 years old — actually, I didn’t tell her … she took one look at me one day while we were at the mall and said “You’re pregnant!” It was a scary time, but my aunt has always stood behind me and been supportive, and I love her like a second mother, too. This disease is the worst kind because it slowly, but surely, incapacitates the body. Some days are good, and my aunt can walk with a cane, and then we start to have hope that maybe things will be okay … but sure enough, a couple weeks later she’s back in a wheelchair. And then the good days come fewer and farther between … it’s frustrating, to say the least. I know that my Aunt will probably never be an old lady, and the thought crushes me. It crushes my mom, who can’t imagine life without her twin, the flip side of her coin. It’s not fair, and I just want to extend a (cyber) hug to you and tell you that I’m sorry, and I understand, and I’m thinking of you.

    Reply
    • YoungHouseLove says

      July 19, 2012 at 8:50 pm

      Thanks so much Andrea. I’m sending lots of love to your aunt and your mom. I hope someone (preferably my brother, haha) cracks the case on MS and finally figures out how to reverse it. How amazing that would be.

      xo,
      s

  49. Kaitlin says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    So, so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family!

    Reply
  50. Ellen says

    July 19, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. My mom has MS and it’s been so hard watching her struggle with it. But like your aunt did, she does it with such a positive attitude and wonderful sense of humor. Lots of love to you and your family.

    Reply
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