State Of The Uterus Address, 2013

And now for a bonus Friday afternoon post (aw yeah, I’m a rebel without a cause). Every day on average I get about five readers either asking if I’m pregnant or straight up “calling it” via comments, email, twitter, pinterest, instagram, or carrier pigeon. Which adds up to answering that question – and crushing the dreams of those calling it – around 150 times a month, and a whopping 1,800 times in the last year. The prego-chatter has even hijacked a few comment threads on posts about non-uterus-y topics like room updates and tour infographics. Holy bump-watch, batman! We haven’t seen one of those around here since 2010.

First I’ll get one little detail out of the way: I’m not pregnant. My womb is currently uninhabited.

It’s actually really cool that so many people are excited about the possibility of us expanding this little family of ours. But with the complications of my past (here’s Clara’s birth story for more on that) nothing is guaranteed. My next pregnancy will be high risk and my next child will have a 25% chance of the same life-threatening complication that Clara had. So that definitely contributes to our timing and our general state of mind with regard to any potential bun in the oven. And sometimes all the “you’re prego!” guesses can be a little tough to field day in and day out.

I completely understand that all the excited folks who are inquiring don’t mean any harm (in fact I feel like I should be hugging you while typing this, seriously I love you guys) but in general I think asking someone if they’re pregnant can be a little dicey…

  • It can suggest that you think they’ve gained weight (sometimes I have a tummy – thanks burrito! – but it’s not a baby)
  • It can unintentionally sadden someone who has had trouble getting pregnant or has miscarried (neither of which I’ve personally encountered up to this point, but I certainly could moving forward)
  • It can put them in an uncomfortable position if they are pregnant, but aren’t ready to announce it (which eventually could happen to me for sure)

So this little uterus-centric service announcement is just to solemnly vow to you guys that when the time is right, if we’re blessed with another bouncing bean in the oven, I promise, you will know. Heck, we’ll be so freaking excited that there might be another t-shirt in it for Burger…

So sit tight and know that although you won’t be the first few people we tell (gotta give that privilege to the fam) you’ll definitely hear it straight from our perma-smiling mouths (er, keyboard?) if we reach that safe-to-share milestone. Until then, picture me sipping wine, eating sushi, and soaking up non-prego life as it is right now. With my sweet pooch, my nail-gun-slingin’ hubby, and my little miracle girl (who currently knows the words to nearly every Adam Levine song – seriously, try her).

Thanks so much for understanding, guys. I can’t wait to see what the future holds. And I hope you’ll be sweet to each other in the comments (everyone’s hearts are in the right place about this whole thing). Besides, this means we can all spend more time studying Princess Kate’s royal bump. Where is she hiding that baby? Seriously, can somebody tell me? My belly blocked the view of my feet by 20 weeks (see the second picture in the grid above), so I can only guess that superior lineage = superior baby-hiding prowess.


  1. says

    I couldn’t resist chiming in and saying how much more I love you now for calling the future Queen of England “Princess Kate”, instead of Kate Middleton. I’m glad to see I’m not alone!

    My theory is that her secret is expert tailoring and a kick-butt attitude. Looking perpetually gorgeous probably also helps too.

    PS – Commenting on the “please do not comment” post? What can I say, I’m a rebel. (:

  2. says

    AMEN SISTA!! People have NO clue what goes on ‘behind the scenes’ and shouldn’t even ask/assume pregnancy! After our miscarriage last fall, the last thing I enjoyed hearing anyone ask is “so when are you having another one?!” If they only knew!! Enjoy your wonderful (and hilarious by the way!) daughter – and when the time is right, you can do it again! :)

  3. Missy says

    Great post, y’all. We had an extremely difficult birth with our son (who is now almost 9) and are pretty much infertile (he was a miracle baby!!). It was a very bad situation in which I would have died had medical technology not intervened (thank heavens I wasn’t giving birth in the 20s) – think Downton Abbey.

    I, too, get tired of people asking if I’m PG every time I have a stomach ache or am tired. *sigh* I can’t imagine if I got the questions hundreds of times a month. lol.

    We’re perfectly content with our little family of 3 and I can imagine that y’all might feel the same way that we do. :)

    xxBIG HUGSxx

    • Alisa says

      I had the Downton thing. It’s awful and has scared me out of having another one even though my doctor said it would probably be ok. Thank God for that episode- it shut my family up about asking when we would start trying for another!

  4. says

    Sherry, I think you’ve handled this whole thing with a lot of grace. Having a whole bunch of internet strangers constantly pestering you can’t be easy.

    Y’all, those of you who haven’t had a difficult pregnancy? You have no idea about the fear that goes into another pregnancy. I was pregnant along with Sherry and my daughter died at 2 1/2 months old. I’m TERRIFIED about having another baby. I don’t really feel the need to talk about my fear, usually, but this is an excellent public service announcement about why sometimes it really is better to MYOB.

    • Matt says

      Yeah, everything you said and I am sorry for your loss. Our stories sound similar but right before our daughter passed away we closed on an awesome house in the family-friendliest town on earth. Everyone wanted to meet the new couple in town with the baby and after we got through that people would ask “how many kids do you have?” or even better, “Why’d you move here without kids?” Nobody really knows to do when they hear a story that departs from the “everything was just fine” fairytale.

      Wishing you the best of luck with the future.

  5. Amanda says

    I love this post! Seriously. So much. It’s amazing how you guys put your lives out there and I definitely agree that sometimes (although people definitely don’t mean it like that) the baby questions can feel a bit mean. I get them all the time just because of the life choices we’re making. Thank you for sharing!

  6. hollie says

    Hear hear! (or is it here here? never quite got that whole concept)

    Thank you for being so frank, honest, and true to yourself while still being so kind. Some things are private business, and the constant speculation and comments almost detract from the magic time (or not, ok too!) there is another bean on the way. That is your body, your life, your family, your news. Own it $herdog!! :)

  7. Jenni says

    As a perpetual lurker who’s never commented before, I just wanted to say you handled this with a lot of grace. Best wishes for your womb.

  8. says

    good for you for getting it out there! people are so excited by babies that sometimes they forget that it’s a very personal & emotionally fraught topic for a lot of people. thank you for the gentle reminder.

  9. Stacy says

    Thank you for saying this! I know people’s hearts are in the right place, but great that you are educating folks. The same goes for asking people when they are going to get married… #pleasedontdoit

    • Kathryn says

      Really, any assumption about any sort of family structure is potentially an assumption too far. My parents died when I was a child, and it was and is always so, so hard to hear people make off-hand comments like ‘your parents must be so proud’ or ‘family; can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, amiright?’.

      It’s not that I take offense, as I understand it’s *my* experience that’s thankfully outside the norm, but learning to have to anticipate getting inadvertently thwacked with pain at what should be every. joyous. moment. in your life can really drag you down after a couple decades!

  10. Katrina says

    Thank you for this. As someone who has had both a miscarriage and ongoing fertility problems, I get a little tired of fielding these questions myself. Seriously, at one point I considered creating a “please do not ask me about my fertility” t-shirt! I know people mean well, but we could all stand to think about what we say before we say things, and not just about someone’s bump or lack thereof. I hope you have a fabulous weekend with your family! xoxo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *