14 Months Of Breastfeeding
Yup, that’s what I did. Well, technically 14 months and three days if you’re really counting. And yup, this really is a post about breastfeeding, so feel free to skip it (you know, if you’re my brother for example). I never thought I’d be writing about it. But I actually get a lot of questions on the subject. And since I blather on about other random things (like cloth diapering) and this blog is really just a way for us to remember things that we might otherwise forget (like paint colors and vacation happenings), I figure that something I did for so long (around 425 days straight) deserved a post about the range of emotions that it elicited. So here we go.
My first emotion: grateful. I was just so thankful it worked. I was acutely aware that some moms try extremely hard but it’s just not possible. I was also pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t as painful as I expected. I’d heard a lot about cracked and bleeding nipples (yes I just typed that) but thanks to genetics or a good latch (or some other random happening) I didn’t really have much pain at all (in the interest of TMI, I also never had sore boobs while prego, so maybe those things go hand in hand?). And I know the whole lack of pain thing might make you want to punch me (it annoys the heck out of my BFF) but I had a pretty frightening birth experience so I guess it’s always something (and not always the same thing) that throws you for a loop as a new mom.
Speaking of the whole birth thing, I was initially really stressed about Clara “taking” to breastfeeding because, due to our complications, I couldn’t nurse her until eight whole hours after she came into this world. I heard trying as soon as possible was the way to go, and I guess the whole scary birth experience had me fearing the worst (there was no baby-on-my-chest-to-snuggle-and-nurse-right-away occurrance, which is definitely what I pictured). But the sweet nurses pretty much just said to give it a try and it was miraculous. Clara got it right away. Such a relief.
As far as emotions go, after “grateful” and “pleasantly surprised” I moved into “exhausted and overwhelmed” territory. Clara was blissfully sleeping for 12 hours each night pretty much from the beginning, waking up for just one or two feedings most of the time (after we got the ok from the doc to let her sleep instead of waking her up to feed every 3 hours since she was steadily gaining weight).
But that meant that during the day she was feeding every two hours like clockwork (I fed her on demand, and at almost exact two hour intervals she screamed and wasn’t happy til she was nursing). So I really couldn’t get much done without having to stop and feed her. Which I actually loved for the bonding and the sweetness and the self-imposed break that it gave me from housework, blogging, and all that other stuff – but it was definitely exhausting and sort of all-encompassing in those bleary I-have-a-newborn months. I always joke that she let me rest at night, but during the day she made me work for it.
And when we went on a week-long family vacation when Clara was just six weeks old I remember sitting upstairs alone with Clara feeding her in a bedroom while everyone else was downstairs having fun together and thinking “I’m going to have to excuse myself and do this about eight times a day while everyone else hangs out – which adds up to 56 feedings that I’ll be doing over the next seven days.” That’s an overwhelming thought. At least it was to me. It was times like this that I actually wished feeding in public (or at least in front of your extended family) was more widely accepted. I tried to use a nursing cover but Clara wouldn’t have it. So up in my room I sat (with occasional visits from John who sweetly recognized that I’d rather be with the group and dropped in to keep us company). Back in these days feedings were pretty slow going (around 15-20 minutes per side for a total of 30-40 minutes spent sequestered). But we still managed to fit in some fun in the sun (or shade since she was so tiny).
I should mention that 1) pumping didn’t agree with me and 2) Clara never took to bottles (or pacifiers for that matter). You win some and you lose some. So every time she fed for the past 14 months it was directly from the source. Which was ok with me since pumping just didn’t work out and thankfully I have a job that allows me to be home with her. But it’s definitely sort of crazy as a concept because for over a year I was never away from my daughter for more than an hour or two. Ever.
But with a face like this, I was ok with that:
Around three months in I really got into the groove though. That’s where I’d characterize my feelings as “content and accepting.” I was happy to still be able to breastfeed and glad that it seemed to suit Clara. She seemed to enjoy it and I knew how to do it effectively and easily enough (in a parked car? check. in a dressing room? check). I even managed to sneak in a taping for the Nate Berkus show, nursing Clara in the green room right before we went on and right after (thankfully it was only a two hour process – or we might have heard her screaming for another feeding from on stage).
I guess I had adapted more to it, and it didn’t feel like as big of a job after I got into the swing of things. And by about 6-8 months old Clara had become a lot more efficient, so feedings were only about 15 minutes total (and sometimes even ten). Interestingly enough, the introduction of solid food at six months old (which Clara loved from day one) didn’t have any bearing on her nursing. She still wanted just as much, just as often. And I was secretly kind of relieved because I worried a bit about my production slowing or even stopping if she suddenly dropped a ton of feedings. But that was not the case.
Up until Clara turned ten months old I was still feeding her every two hours during the day at her insistence (screaming until I nursed her = her insistence). That’s right, for ten months (that’s 300 days) I nursed Clara every two hours (except during the night). I was ok with it, and my doc was ok with it, but I heard from friends that only going two hours between feedings at that age was reallllly often (as in all of my friends were only feeding every 4-5 hours or so at that age). My doc explained that it made sense since Clara was such an unusually solid night sleeper (she segued from waking up for 1-2 feedings in her 12 hour span of night sleep to not waking up at all around 2.5 months in – I know, we’re insanely blessed to have gotten such uninterrupted sleep for such a long block of time). But it did mean not-as-long daytime naps and a whole lot of frequent feedings to “tank up” during her waking hours in exchange for such an awesome night’s sleep. Heck, I’ll take it.
Blissfully, after turning ten months old Clara started stretching her feedings to every three hours, which felt amazing. It’s funny how an extra hour feels like all the freedom in the world. It’s all relative I guess. At this point I was coming into the whole “I love breastfeeding” phenomenon. I still felt grateful to be able to do it, Clara was a thriving happy girl, it was saving us money, it gave me a moment to step away from the computer/paint brush/hammer and connect with the bean, and it helped me get back into my old clothes (even though I don’t think I’ll ever have my pre-baby body again, it’s fine with me because Clara’s so worth it). I should add that I’m a breastfeeding enthusiast when it comes to me and Clara, but I don’t judge anyone else when it comes to what they choose for their family. Whatever works for you & your ducklings = my mantra as a parent in general.
The next speed bump that we encountered was when Clara turned a year old we introduced organic whole milk. The problem? Clara wouldn’t drink it. She still wouldn’t really take a bottle so our doc recommended trying a sippy cup. It worked for water, but she refused to drink milk (and we tried about ten million different sippy cup varieties, tried slightly heating the milk, tried watering it down or mixing it with breast milk, etc). This is when I started fearing that she’d be 21 years old and still addicted to breastfeeding.
Next we tried almond milk at our doc’s advice, and she went for it (we think the thinner consistency seemed closer to breast milk so she was down). And slowly we mixed almond milk with whole organic milk and she made the transition to 100% whole organic milk at around 13 months. Yup, it took nearly a whole month to get her on board with it. She’s stubborn like her momma. Haha. Shockingly, that’s when her feedings dropped waaay down. From around five times a day to just two – once before bed and once in the morning. Which made me feel excited and free but sort of oddly sad at the same time. “My baby’s growing up, and she needs me less” was sort of how I felt. I know that’s not really true, but it’s the best way I can describe the feeling.
By 13 months and three weeks she just wanted a feeding in the morning when she woke up. Clara has always been the boss of this whole breastfeeding thing (since we opted to just do the “on demand” thing from day one), so who am I to argue with the girl? Just one morning feeding opened up a whole new world of evening fun for me and John thanks to his parents offering to babysit (we could see a movie or go out to dinner without Clara after over a year of not partaking in those activities – amazing!). Of course I thought about her the whole time we were out, but I guess that’s to be expected (picture me saying “I wonder what Clara’s doing right now” every ten minutes during our first movie together in over a year).
Two weeks later Clara wasn’t even interested in her morning feeding. Which was sad because that’s the one where we lie down next to each other and relax together. I know I sound crazy, but it was such a sweet way to start the day. To anyone who has yet to try it, nursing on your side while laying down = awesometown (they taught me that move at the hospital thanks to the whole c-section thing). And now it’s over. So my current feelings are sad (because I’ll miss it) but proud (because I can’t believe I breastfed for over 14 months) and grateful (because I know being able to nurse that long or even at all definitely isn’t a given).
So that’s my breastfeeding journey. Off to cry now (and I can’t even blame breastfeeding hormones for the tears). I know, I know, someone with a nickname that won’t stick like $herdog shouldn’t be such a wuss. But it was an awesome/exhausting/amazing/tiring/surprising journey that I’m grateful to have experienced. Love you baby girl. Even if you’re over me my boobs.
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Sherry, you always have such a great attitude about everything. I think you’re an inspiration to the women who read your blog. I’m not a mother, but if/when I am, I plan to breastfeed. It irks me that American society is so put off by it. I don’t know what happened to make people think it’s gross and offensive.
Thanks for sharing your breastfeeding journey. Its really a beautiful thing that needs to be shared and enjoyed and normalized.
My son nursed every two hours until he was at least 8 months old. Probably longer. We kept up until 10 months when I dried up. It was a sad day!
Congrats on breastfeeding that long, it’s not easy for most people. I breastfed my daughter for 2+ years and was always glad it worked for us. I have a lot of friends who weren’t so lucky. My daughter also wasn’t too crazy about organic milk, still isn’t to this day. Turns out she is a water drinker, which is fine with me. There is so much controversy about breastfeeding, which makes people shy away from talking about it a lot. Thanks for the positive and information post.
lol! good for you and your b-feeding adventures! I thought as soon as the baby could say “milk” I would be done…but my son started talking at 9 months and finally we ended our nursing sessions at 18 1/2 months…he would have gone on forever!
I’m just entering the slow-down phase (3-4x a day now) of BF’ing Lilah at 9 months (thanks to B.L.W. and Clara’s stellar example – she is a solid-eating machine!). I have shed a tear or two myself over the prospect of it all coming to an end (because it was NOT easy for me in the beginning). Here’s to hoping for a few more months of giving a little of myself everyday with my daughter?! Thanks for sharing – it’s always nice to hear another mama’s journey. Oh & I’m on your lay-down morning nursing train for sure!!!
Wow, I am just now catching up on posts and I finally got to this one. When it was being posted my daughter, our first child, was being born. I really appreciate the detailed account as first-hand advice seems to help out new moms way more than any books can. Our little one is transitioning from every two hours to every three and she is stretching out her nights as well. I think a steady night’s sleep is the way to go and I’m glad to hear how patient you were with the process. Love this blog! It’s a treat I’m making time for as I juggle motherhood : )
Lovely story. I’m glad it worked out so well for you. And thanks for being understanding for mums who have difficulties. I was one of those – as I shared today:
http://www.cravingfresh.com/2011/08/when-breast-isnt-best.html
I breast fed my 4 kids for a year each (some for longer)
Thank goodness, as a european- feeding in public is the norm!
I breastfed my twins for 17 months and they pretty much weaned themselves, which was a relief. Looking back, I’m super proud like you but I’m really glad my boobs are on hiatus. I got over being sad about it pretty quickly, so don’t worry.
way to go, sister!!! i made an almost similar (ish) post about a month ago… the freedom is amazing. enjoy it!
Congrats to you! I had a horrible time getting started; I remember crying while nursing because it hurt so much. But my mom kept encouraging me to stick with it and it got better and we nursed for 13 months. I still miss it 2+ years later.
Good news for all soon-to-be nusing mothers out there. President Obama’s healthcare reforms includes a provision that insurers and Medicare/Medicaid must provide support for nursing mothers including renting breast pumps without a co-pay! Excellent preventative care decision Mr. President – thank you!
Love your website – it has been a HUGE inspiration for my recent move and decorating.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful experience! It’s so wonderful that everything just clicked with you and Clara from the beginning — I think you’re right, the universe owed you. :) We had some trouble initially, but my daughter is still nursing at 23 months…something I never imagined I would do or say, but it really is an amazing thing.
I think you’re awesome.
The end.
I know this is an old post but I just went back and re-read it and wanted to comment. My daughter is about 3 weeks away from being 1 and I am ready to start weaning her. I am on day 3 of trying to get her to drink cow’s milk from a sippy and she is NOT on board. We are in the exact same boat as you – no paci’s no bottles, just 11 + months of milk straight from the source (although she LOVES water from her sippy). I am going to try the almond milk trick and see if that works. Fingers crossed b/c at this point she will not drink anything white from any of the 412 sippy cups we own. Thanks for the post, it has been encouraging for me today!
soooo….just *a little* late here, but thought i’d comment. each day that passes, i dread the big wean. :( I’ve EBF my twins for almost 10 months now, and I love the feeling that no one else can do this. KWIM? They cry, I feed them. Ha, universe…I win! But, my nips are sore, and have been since teething. I despise pumping at work, and just kinda want my body back. Feelings like that bring on the momma guilt, so i know how you feel/felt. :) You did a fantastic job, momma. :)
I pumped every two hours for six months, then every for for another four, then just twice a day. I can relate with the feeling of freedom (not having to get up in the middle of the night to pump was the best Christmas present ever). My stubborn boy never allowed for breastfeeding – the NICU made it hard to get started (I didn’t get to try for 30 hours after he was born) and after that he was spoiled by the easy bottles. Lots of people told me to keep trying, but after six weeks of him screaming at me at every feeding until we were both sobbing and I finally gave him a bottle pretty much shot that idea. I think you deserved the wonderful breastfeeding relationship after your traumatic delivery! Once again, thanks for sharing :)
Today is my 2nd day back at work after my 12 week maternity leave and I would do anything to be home with my little baby boy. I struggled at the beggining with my milk supply and my little guy lost quite a bit of weight, it was scary and I was super stressed. After lots of tears and meetings with lactation consultants we finally made it work. He was exclusively breast feeding for 2 months and is now taking pumped milk by the bottle. I just hope I can keep it up for as long as you did. I hope pumping at work doesn’t decrease my supply, but I am determined to make it work! I hope lots of people read your post and are motivated to breast feed for as long as you did, even if it doesn’t come easy.
I treasured nursing both my kids. It was one thing I could do for them that no one else could. My first was a challenge at first with latching problems, but it worked out in the end. Both of mine weaned themselves at 6 months. What a blessing the time you had to share with your little one.
First off…huge congrats for going 14mos. I have a question though…did you manage to have a social life? If so…how? My son refuses bottle and pacifiers so like you i’ve happily conceded to just bf until he weans himself. Going on 6mos now and we have our groove. However now i’m feeling pressure from friend to let loose and go out at night but i’m fearful of leaving and him waking and needing the boob… How did you deal?
People came over and hung out or we went on family and friend trips overnight (so I could feed Clara, put her down, and hang out at home/in the beach house with folks afterward). John and I didn’t even see a movie at a theatre until about 12 months in. I know it sounds crazy but it was the easiest thing and I honestly didn’t mind it. We would just make a big pasta dinner and invite people over and play games and rent movies. It was nice. Hope it helps!
xo,
s
So random question — did you ever think that maybe Clara didn’t drop her milk feedings (or spread them out more than every 2 hours during the day) because you were doing BLW with her? From what I’ve read regarding BLW, it does take a while before they are actually consuming any of the food, which is why you may not see the milk feedings drop right off the bat. Of your friends whose babies only had 4-5 milk feedings during the day at the same age, were they doing BLW or the more “traditional” puree strategy for solid food?
I guess it could also be because Clara was such a sound sleeper at night too….. I’m just wondering because my son is now 6 months old and I think we’re going to start BLW soon with him. Like Clara, he pretty much sleeps throuh the night (only wakes up around 5 am for a quick feeding and then goes back down until 7, woot!) but feeds every 2 hours (at the longest) throughout the day. So I’m anticipating that he may want to contine that schedule for another couple months still, if he’s anything like Clara….
We always heard that babies who sleep solidly at night just tank up more during the day. But she was definitely getting a ton of food about a month into Baby Led Weaning (we’re talking about a whole sweet potato and a whole chicken breast at one feeding) and still drinking just as much for nearly a half a year later. I think in her mind they were two different things so she just was thirsty and hungry? The idea of feeding herself was so fun and made her such an adventurous eater, but it didn’t seem to take the place of breastfeeding if that makes sense. Hope it helps!
xo,
s
thank you for sharing this! my son is 13 months and still eats every two hours all day and night. with multiple severe food allergies it is extremly difficult to find foods that he can eat. i am his main source of nurishment. there are days where i count out all the feedings and it blows my mind. soon we will be doing some food challenge tests (with some of the known allergies) then maybe we will have more options to feed him. good for you nursing clara so long! :)
Just saw this post and loved it! I am currently nursing my little boy (he’s almost 6 months) and we’re about to start solids. We are planning to do the baby-led weaning approach (or a hybrid version of that), and so I’m anticipating that we’ll be nursing for a while longer. Part of me wants it to end closer to 12 months old, but I know I’ll miss it terribly when he’s no longer nursing. Good job on sticking with it for 14 months!!
I have never commented on your blog, been one of those “silent readers” for awhile, but just wanted to say – you go, girl! I am a huge breastfeeding advocate and so happy to hear success stories like yours. Very inspiring, and made my day!
Wow, I am so happy for you Sherry, but it saddens me that not everyone has that “happily ever after”…. I have a 3 month old and my supply has gone from 50% feedings breasmilk to about 2 feedings a day. It’s so hard to be encouraged due to all the negativity against bottle-fed babies. I say BRAVO to the women who can pump exclusively even!!! I wish I were them. I’m grateful my child has had exclusive bm the first 3 weeks and has had half bm feedings up to 3 months, but it’s so sad for me to not feel like a failure. The latch is perfect, I have no soreness or issues…. just no milk. :( So to the ladies out there who cannot breastfeed, know you aren’t a failure. You’re doing your best to be your baby’s momma! :)
Oh Erin you’re doing an amazing thing! You should never feel like a failure for trying your best. What a lucky little bean you have to have you as a momma.
xo,
s
Congratulations on reaching the 14 month mark! That is definitely something to be proud of. I can relate to so many things you mentioned in this post. I have an 8 month old daughter, and we are still breastfeeding. I hope we can make it as long as you two did. I remember those overwhelming/demanding days in the beginning, and I also remember being at family functions and feeling left out when I had to go in another room to breastfeed. You are right though, once you get past a certain point, breastfeeding transforms from a burden into a blessing. At first, I didn’t even think I was going to make it another week (I experienced a lot of pain), but after sticking through it, here I am 8 months later and still going strong. It’s totally worth it! I am already getting sad about having to wean her, but I guess it’s a normal part of the process. P.S…..we love the nursing on your side laying down too. We do it every morning. It’s so nice to connect with other moms and know you aren’t alone. Thanks for sharing your breastfeeding story!
I have read this post before but now I am currently breastfeeding my 3 month old and had to look it up and read it again. I love hearing your story and all the comments from other moms. I think breastfeeding is different for everyone; it just depends on you and your baby. I can agree though, the first few months can have their ups and downs. I had thoughts of “how long can I do this” but now I feel like we are transitioning into that stage where we know what we are doing. My little boy also eats about every two hours during the day but he has recently started sleeping from 8 or 9 till 5 or 6 and waking for a quick feeding then back to sleep till 8 or 9! So I am not complaining at all for the extra sleep! I had a scare about a month ago with my supply getting low and I was told a couple of tricks to try and it worked! This definitely is an adventure but one I would not trade for the world.
I just now read this since you linked to it somewhere. . I could have wrote this blog! The same exact thing happened to me and my firstborn except he was a boy, and he switched to milk easier. Glad I’m not the only one who had a baby who ate so often and didn’t pump :) I was soo sad when it was over too! :( And I didn’t realize the last time would be the last time either. So sad. Now I’m nursing my second. She’s a girl. She isn’t eating as often and she is soo much chubbier than my first. The dr said with your first kid your milk is like skim milk, the second-whole milk, and by the third its like ice cream. ha so watch out third!
I read this when you first posted it, and enjoyed it, just because I enjoy all your posts. But NOW, I have a 6-week old baby girl and I’m breastfeeding. So I re-read this post, and it hits home SO MUCH. Thank you! My girl is a good night sleeper, too (midnight to 6 is her typical stretch) and a good morning napper, which makes me feel rested in the mornings and allows me to get a lot done when she naps in the a.m….but the every-two hours-all-day feeding thing has me exhausted by 5pm-ish. It’s all worth it, though, like you said.
P.S. That pic on the beach towel is priceless.
I really really really loved this. I have a baby that is 9.5 months and she by about 2.5 months only was getting up once around 4am for a feed and in the day fed every 2 hours. She continued this schedule of 7 feeds a day (every 2 hours in the day and once at 4am) until 8.5 months ! I had to schedule my hair cut and highlights on two separate days and she too has never had milk from a bottle or cup. I am saying all this bc your blog speaks to me as I go back to work at 14 months old. And you seem like me in that you would have happily tried to give her a bottle or sippy but why bother? Pumping does suck. And I like that your feed on demand worked out that way (still a schedule). i always have moms I ask how they feed and they “feed on demand I have no idea” b/c my baby put herself on a schedule since young. Now at 9.5 mo she is on 5 feeds a day and finally around 8 months dropped the 4am so went to 5 feeds. So now we are on every THREE hours !!! ha ha.. my friends with babies her age think I am NUTS to feed a 9.5 mo old every 3 hours but when she sleeps 12 at night, I am like, come on. And we will be out with friends shoppig and they are complaining their kids still nurse 2-3x at night, yet they go all day with a whiney baby not nursing or go 5-6 hours and stuff them with snacks. Solids never affected her either, other than dropping that 4am feed. I am like, show up at 11am after nursing at home at 1030. Back home by 1pm to nurse to nap for 130. It is funny. I have only felt down in the dumbs a couple times about the nursing since it is hard, and unlike you we had a VERY rough start… breast infections, tongue tie… but I was DO OR DIE. I told my husband when I had bleeding nipples and lesions I would rather DIE than stop. Stopping breastfeeding was NOT an option. I endured the worste pain of my life for 8 weeks. Hell and back. I vomitted from the pain, twice. I just said to myself, people have suffered worse in life and if I can suffer just one day at a time, I know it will get better. And it did ! I know some moms,and not judging, are almost releieve to have an excuse to stop. I had every excuse in the book (except for lack of production) and I did not give up. And some of my mom friends do not know about the side lie… I agree too ! hello awesome !! Anyway, love the blog and thanks for being a real mom and not some crazy staunch person that makes moms feel guilty. Your middle of the road approach to breastfeeding (like you actually did solids at 6 months and not no food until one)… is refreshing !