What Could Have Been…

When we’re painting we talk about all sorts of weird things that we probably wouldn’t otherwise get around to. And while painting the bedroom we got to the topic of “names that our parents almost gave us.” Get this. My mom wanted to name me Gina. We would have been John & Gina. That made us titter. Not sure if it’s a had to be there thing though. Either way, John’s dad’s choice of names takes the cake. He wanted to name John… wait for it… Lars.

Lars Petersik.

How funny is that? If I had seen tall dirty blond John at work and asked a coworker “oh who’s that?” and heard them respond with ” that’s Lars Petersik, he’s an account manager.” Let’s just say I would have been all “niiiiice to meeeeeeet you Laaaaars” with that over-enunciated-because-I’m-not-sure-you’re-great-at-deciphering-super-speedy-NY-talkers connotation. The same long drawn out delivery I use with my only-speaks-Italian grandmother. It would have been hysterical. John probably never would have let me live it down. Or asked me to marry him a year-ish later.

But that’s not all. Apparently John’s dad also wanted to name John “Vector.” Because he liked math. How I was able to continue painting with tears of laughter streaming down my face is beyond me. So it got us wondering what you guys were almost named. Come on… someone out there can beat Vector and Lars, right?


  1. Christy says

    I know they seem funny and weird to you since you’ve always been John & Sherry, but I think you both look like Lars & Gina.

  2. Meghan says

    My husband wants to name our daughter (who is due in 3.5 weeks) Bosafina….. the only thing worse is that if it had been a boy he wanted Boseefuss. Just this morning he decided he wanted to name her “Spoonie”…. uh huh… enough said!!! Don’t you worry she’s going to be a Norah or a Charlotte (haven’t decided which is better just yet). My husband tells EVERYONE that she is going to be Bosafina and I get these wierded out looks!

  3. Melle says

    My parents wanted to name me Vanessa Dawn until one day they were discussing initials and realized that mine would be VD! Thanks goodness they decided not to name me after a sexually transmitted disease!

  4. Kate says

    Mine’s really boring. The only other name my parents had picked out was Matthew for if I was a boy.

    Though my parents did joke that they could give me a name that runs in my mom’s family – Caleb. In 1984, it seemed like the most cruel name they could come up with. Now it’s one of the most popular!

  5. Ashley says

    My Dad is a chemist so his top picks for me and my twin brother were Beryllium and Boron. Thankfully my Mom stepped in on that one!

  6. Corinne says

    My name knew from day one that I was going to be a girl, so she never bothered with deciding on any boys’ names. She didn’t quite have the perfect name for me until she and my grandfather were watching a show called Soap. He commented on how beautiful the character Corinne was….and tada! That was my name!

    The only thing embarassing was when I told that story to a college professor of mine. He looked at me and said “I remember that show….she was a slut!”

  7. Beth says

    I would have been Russel had I been a boy. Ew. Oddly, my name is only Beth. Not Elizabeth. My dad didn’t like Elizabeth. But I have some people call me that, because they think they know. And then my husband went and set up my email account as Bethany. I have no idea why, to this day. But I’m still using it, 14 years later.

    Also, when I was prego with our first born son, my husband threw out three names he liked: Froedrick, Schlomo, and Wolfgang. How’s that for crazy?? Fortunately, I won, and we named him Benjamin.

  8. says

    Oh goodness. My husband suggested “Vector” to me a few months ago. He is a chemical engineer…something to do with one of his physics classes. The other name (in case we have twins, you know)…”Scalor”. I may be done with procreating.

  9. says

    I wasn’t destined to get a funny name, but there IS a funny story behind my middle name, Lynn. My grandfather (who was a decorated Marine) was saddled with the first name “Lynn” because it was a “family name”. He hated it and demanded that he be called by his middle name, Samuel. Since he was a husky muscular kid, most of his classmates didn’t argue!

    Grandpa had eight kids, and each of his children gave their first-born the middle name Lynn. That’s all well and good for myself, and my female cousins….but cousins Mike and Joseph aren’t too happy about it!

  10. Corrie M. says

    My best friend’s brother’s name is…..wait for it….Lars Larson. No lie. They almost named her Lara. Lara & Lars Larson.

  11. Kate says

    Oh, and my married name is Matthews. My husband is Chris, so we joke that he’s famous. His parents joke that they should have named him Matthew Matthews.

    I’ve also decided that if we someday have a boy, we can not name him after my dad. I’m not naming my kid Dave Matthews, haha!

  12. Angela says

    My “oh-so-funny” dad wanted to name me Candice. Not a bad name on it’s own. With my maiden name, however, it would have been awful. Candice Apple. Common nickname for Candice? Candy. Candy Apple? Yikes. Hooker name much? Thank god mom won that battle. Growing up, having Apple as a last name was hard enough! So glad I didn’t have to deal with the first name as well.

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