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How To Choose A Baby Name

As a former professional product namer, I’ve named everything from cheeseburgers to cell phones. And you might think… she also probably wants to name my baby. Well, you’d be right. I LOVE brainstorming name ideas, researching meanings, and test-driving name pairings. I also get the sometimes daunting pressure of it all. It can be stressful, and there are tons of factors to consider, endless options to sift through, and somehow even more opinions. Hint: do not ask everyone you know for their opinions – it can make it so much harder.

So while this post won’t give you the perfect baby name (I’ve already written tons of baby name lists), it will give you the tools to find the right one for yourself.

How To Choose A Baby Name Title Card

Think of picking a baby name in two stages:

  1. Building a list
  2. Narrowing it down

I like to think of these two parts of the process as distinct, because it allows me to gather ideas without too much analysis or judgment at first. Kind of like how most professional authors recommend writing a very bad first draft of a book just to get it out instead of getting caught up on perfecting every word in the first chapter. There will be plenty of time for refining things in the second step, so just let your mind wander and cast the net far and wide at first.

Building A List Of Baby Name Ideas

There are no bad ideas during the first stage. Just think of it as brainstorming or gathering inspiration. Keeping a “the more, the merrier” mindset helps because you never know what random idea will grow on you, spark a different thought, or maybe work as a middle name or nickname. Here are some other things to keep in mind:

  • Take your time. You’ve got almost 9 months, right? Don’t cram your brainstorming into a weekend.
  • Keep it handy. Use something like Google Docs or the Notes app on your phone so you can access it anywhere. You never know when you’ll encounter a new idea.
  • Don’t fret about order. You can organize, alphabetize, or categorize later. For now, adding new names to the bottom of one long list is fine!

But how do you actually gather names for this list? Well, here are some great ways to build your baby name list:

Identify A Style

You probably already have a sense of what kinds of baby names you’re drawn to. Use these as launch points on Google or in baby name books. Styles include:

If you’re uncertain about what style you’re drawn to, look up a few of your favorite names so far and see if they fall on any lists, like “Hipster Baby Names” or “Top 10 Ranking Baby Names of the Year.” Those lists might have additional names you like.

Find Meaningful Sources

Some parents find confidence in their name choice when it has personal significance or family connection. Those might include:

  • Family names from earlier generations (get inspiration from your family tree!)
  • Character names from favorite books, movies, shows, etc
  • Names found in your ethnic heritage
  • Religious or mythological names
  • Historical or notable figures
  • Celebrity or famous athlete names
  • Significant places (countries, towns, streets)
  • Aspirational attributes (you know, names like Hope, Faith, Joy, etc)

If any of these types of meaningful names sound promising to you, do some research to add similar names to your list – look up family trees, browse favorite books, scour maps, look up popular names from a certain geographic location, etc.

Utilize Naming Tools

Of course there are traditional sources for lists of baby name ideas that you can use to round out your personal list. These include:

Lastly, you can try super-specific search terms in Google to flush out certain types of names you want to see more of. You can try things like “Boy Names that Start With C” or “Names In Rock Song Lyrics.”

Narrowing Down Your Baby Name List

Ok, so you’ve made a big list of potential names… now what? Here are my tips for paring down your baby name ideas and zeroing in on your top options.

Check For Undesirables

One of the quickest ways to whittle down a baby name list is to identify “deal killers.” Some of these come down to personal preference, but knowing the potential negative outcomes or associations with a name is an easy way to nix it from your list. They include:

Undesirable Initials

Will your child’s initials spell something unwanted? Initials like PEE, DUH, or ICK might make you want to avoid that outcome.

Sounds Like Something Else

Sometimes a name on paper looks great but sounds strange when you say it aloud. Test it out by speaking the name you’re considering out loud, paired with last name, middle name, and even nicknames! You want to avoid an embarrassing situation like comedian Amy Schumer (who changed her baby’s name after realizing it sounded like “Genital”).

Popularity

If you care about uniqueness, it’s always smart to cross-reference the Social Security Administration’s list of top baby names in the United States to avoid trendy names that rank highly or are rising. We really didn’t want our kids to have super common names due to my husband John always being “John P” in a sea of other Johns, so by using the SS list of names we were able to avoid that (both of our kids are the only ones with their name in their grade).

Negative Associations

Consider Googling a name to see how it appears in pop culture, politics, history, etc. Make sure you’re comfortable with any existing figures or characters who share that name. Especially for unique names, these may be the primary associations that others may have with your child’s name.

The Assumed Gender Association

Understanding the potential gender associations of a name can be a smart thing to reflect on and decide whether you care at all or not in the least. We knew a woman named Justin who started every work call with someone new telling them “yes, I’m a female named Justin” and always said she wished she was “just a Justine to avoid spending years of her life explaining her name.” We actually love a gender-neutral baby name (that’s a whole list of our favorites), so it can also be smart to identify if you prefer names that work for both boys and girls, and hunt for that category on some online lists too.

Consider Practicality

Names also serve many functional purposes, and your child will be the one to benefit (or suffer) from keeping real-world applications in mind.

Longevity

Does this name suit a child, teen, AND adult? Because you aren’t just naming a baby – you’re naming a person who will (presumably) use this name for resumes, business cards, and other grown-up scenarios.

Pronunctiation

Do you care if the name is easy to say? Some people want it to be obvious, but others don’t mind a name that is unusual and therefore might require an explanation for how to pronounce it.

Spelling

Similarly, do you care if the name is easy to spell? Some people want to use the most common spelling or the most phonetic spelling of a name, while others love some flair with an unusual spelling. Just figuring out what you prefer can help direct you towards a name you love more than all the rest.

Flexibility

Does the name have existing or potential nicknames? Are you comfortable with those being used? Nicknames can also alleviate some of the issues above. For example, if the full name is tricky to spell or pronounce (Margueritte), but the nickname is simple (Maggie), you might feel like it’s the perfect balance.

Family Fit

Think about how potential names mesh with existing names and nicknames in the household (parents, siblings, even pets!). Will similar-sounding names cause confusion (like someone calling “Annie” across the house while someone else thinks their brother “Danny” is being summoned?). Or maybe you intentionally want alliterative names (each of the children starts with L, for example)?

Think Rhythm & Flow

Saying names out loud is a great way to narrow your list. Humans are naturally drawn to names with rhythm or flow to them, so here are some general “best practices” that you can conform with or completely throw out the window. Your choice!

Unequal Syllables

There’s a general “rule” that first, middle, and last names sound great with an unequal numbers of syllables – like 3-1-2 or 1-2-4, instead of 2-2-2. So if you have a long last name, you might want to focus on one-syllable first names (or vice versa if your last name is short). Again, rules are meant to be broken, so feel free to disregard this completely if you love a name that follows a different format.

Separation From Last Name

Some people try to avoid first names that end with the same sound that the last name starts with (ex: Jack Kraus) because it can be sort of a tongue twister to enunciate the end of the first name when it runs into the same sound. I knew a Mary Sass who hated that she sounded like Mary’s Ass (true story). And no matter how much you love the name Eden, if your last name is Ham, do you want your child’s full name to sound like “eatin’ ham?” Maybe you do, It’s just another thing to consider. Be sure to say the full name out loud a bunch of times just to be sure you like what it sounds like when it blurs together.

Mix It Up

Names with lots of matching sounds, letters, or alliteration might feel overly “sing-songy” or cutesy (think characters like Amelia Bedelia). So look for full names that mix hard & soft sounds and don’t rhyme. You may also want to avoid ending with the same letters/sound that you last name ends with (ex: Madison Peterson). Someone once told us they loved the name Paterson for a girl but we said Paterson Petersik out loud and we all laughed.

Test It Out

We also encourage you to test out potential baby names before you put one on a birth certificate. Here are some popular ways to “test drive” a baby name:

The Shout Test

Picture yelling this name up the stairs or down the hall to get your child’s attention. Is it natural and easy for you to say? Will it get confused with other names in the household? (John had trouble growing up because his name sounded very similar to “Mom” and his dad’s name “Tom.”)

The Crowd Test

Picture calling this name out in a crowd (say you get separated from your child at the zoo). Is it easy to say loudly? Will it be easy for your child to identify it as their name of does it sound weirdly similar to something else that might be said loudly in public pretty often? As a person named Sherry I will tell you that my heart stopped a few times in grade school when a teacher said “You should all be SHARING with the class” because I thought she was interrupting herself to yell at me for talking. But I survived.

The Classroom Test

Picture a teacher calling your child’s name on the first day of school. Will it invite any snickering or teasing from other kids (ex: your child goes by Frank, but the teacher has their given name of “Frances” on the roll sheet). We know someone who thought about this and just named their kid the-nickname-version of their name instead of the full name.

The Starbucks Test

Picture giving this name to a coffee shop barista. This is a good scenario to consider how strangers hear a name.

The Writing Test

Write the full name out on paper. How does it look to your eye? Do you worry it’s too long or maybe too difficult for a toddler who’s learning to write? Do you like how it will look on name tags, jerseys, lunch labels, and more?

The Conversation Test

Put potential names into everyday conversation for a day or two, using them as placeholders whenever you refer to the baby (“Maeve just kicked!“) or even imagine future conversations about your child (“Freddy has a big exam tomorrow“). See if some names feel more natural than others.

None of these tests are meant to be “pass” or “fail,” since no name will be 100% perfect in all scenarios. But they can give you some helpful insights as to which names you like most and what you actually care about (and don’t at all).

Other Naming Considerations

In addition to all of these ways to create & narrow down your baby name list, here are some other things to remember during this exciting time.

Include A Partner

If you have a partner, you likely want to collaborate to make them feel included. Talk about what feels like the easiest way to pick a name together. Do you want to keep separate lists and cross-reference later? Work through every decision together? Or maybe you get the final say on the first name, and they pick the middle name? Just talking this through can make you feel like the best team who can land on the best name that you both love. And if you’re single, you might want to consult with a close friend or family member to bounce ideas off someone else so you don’t feel like you’re doing this in a vacuum. Just be warned that asking too many people for their opinions can quickly spoil soooo many names you love.

Maybe Don’t Finalize It

Some parents find it easier to wait until they meet their baby to make a final selection. You never know if seeing your child’s face will make one name a clear winner over others. We had a name for our daughter that we were heavily leaning towards, but we agreed if she was born with a head of dark hair we’d name her Jane. She was bald, so the original name (which was a family name) is what we went with. But it felt nice to just say “we don’t have to be 100% sure going into this birth. It can be totally fine to bring a few top contenders into the delivery room and just meet your little one to see what fits.

Invite Feedback Carefully

As I’ve hinted at a few times, involving others in your naming decision is up to you, but remember that everyone has different preferences, associations, and instincts. And they may feel bolder about sharing those opinions with you when that name is still hypothetical (and not attached to your actual baby). So if you’re not prepared to hear every one of your cousins nitpick your favorite monikers, maybe keep him out of the loop for now.

Don’t Stress

There are plenty of important decisions to worry about during a pregnancy, but don’t make picking a name one of them. There are THOUSANDS of great names out there, and you’re bound to find plenty that you like. No name checks every single box, so don’t fret about perfection and enjoy the process.

More Baby Name Ideas

We’ve given you LOTS to think about, but not many actual names. That’s where these posts come in. Be sure to check these out as your adding names to you list. And yes, some of the pet ones may come in handy!

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