This post was 3,000 words long. They all felt overly complicated and heavy and weird. I clicked delete. Then I just typed what we’re really feeling, complete with things we’ve never said out loud and even a few things we’ve never fully admitted to ourselves before.
The truth is that we love you guys. Like for real. Even for the tough love. We know you say it because you care (or hopefully you did at some point), and we want you to know we care right back. We want to do a good job. We want to do this with joy and excitement. We want to inspire you. We know this is an incredible way to have made a living and we are full of gratitude for the experience to have shared the last seven years of our lives with you guys online.
We would NEVER be here without you, and not a day goes by that we don’t know that. It’s why we asked for your feedback last week and read every last comment. We appreciate the honesty and the passion you guys have on the topic of making this blog great. And we agree with a lot of what was being said. We have been feeling off for a while – like we have lost our rhythm and we’re somehow missing the mark for ourselves and for you guys. We too miss the good old days when we did this for the love and were full of such obvious joy and spontaneity. This felt like a place we all hung out and it just doesn’t have that vibe anymore.
Over the years many amazing opportunities popped up for us. Things we never dreamed of doing in a million years, and things we’re incredibly grateful to have had the chance to experience. A book deal, curating paint picks with Benjamin Moore, a line sold at Target, a showhouse, etc. But in hindsight those things also made this feel a lot more like a business than a personal blog to many of you, and to us as well. We have actually ramped those down behind the scenes in an attempt to get back to our roots (we no longer do the BM color collection, the second book is mostly written, our products at Target have completed their run, and we finished the showhouse) but we never really made a big announcement about that – so it’s completely understandable that some of you might think we’ve moved on to those greener pastures and left the blog in the dust, so to speak. The reality is that our site propels the success of any outside project like a product or book, so we could never turn our backs on the blog and expect those items to continue to sell as well.
Not only have we felt this shift from “John and Sherry” to “Young House Love: The Brand”, but the blogosphere as a whole has become increasingly sponsored/corporate lately. We can see from the outside prospective as a reader, or even a fellow blogger, that it’s hard to read a blog post without suspecting some ulterior motive or money-making system behind it. Last week a few of you mentioned that we might need to keep giveaways around because they pay us well, which surprised us since they’re never something we accept payment for (we like to pass free things along to you as a thank you for reading).
Along with the whole business/brand thing that’s going on, and the side gigs that felt like they muddied the water for some of you, there are certainly other things we wish we had handled differently in hindsight. Just to name a few, there’s: being too defensive, over-explaining, letting things get in our heads and change our lighthearted approach, and the internal struggle between being transparent and oversharing personal details like a vacant new house without an alarm system (looking back we wish we’d handled our third house announcement differently). We know many of you felt insulted that we didn’t share more freely about that house, and we truly apologize.
Anyway, back to that whole “we’re sexy stumbling and you know it” thing. It’s endlessly frustrating to do a job that you love poorly, especially when it’s a blog baby that you’ve birthed yourself and nurtured for seven years. And especially when it’s such an amazing job that we once felt so inspired and joyful to wake up and do each day. What’s wrong with us? We know this is a dream job. We acknowledge it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. We know most people who have built something like this would be more inspired than ever. It’s not that we lost the gratitude, I think it’s that we feel like we’ve fallen out of our groove. We feel like we’re letting you guys down repeatedly. It got to the point that every time we pressed “publish” we braced ourselves.
So in an attempt to stop stumbling around and feeling like we just can’t get it back, we’re taking a break. We don’t know exactly how long we’ll be stepping away, but our guess would be at least a month. We will certainly be exploring other options for supporting our family (something we mentioned we were considering back in April). We had that fiery blog-spark back when we had day jobs and did this as a hobby, so we think it could be a good change. We’ll also be taking a break on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, but the blog will stay public so you guys can access the archives whenever you’d like.
Our internal struggle and the state of this blog is entirely of our making, and we completely own that. Please don’t get mad at anyone for being honest with their feedback last week or accuse them of sending us packing. We have been struggling with that “something is off” feeling for a while now, and after way too much denial and “we’ll turn it around” pep talks, we finally asked for your feedback because we truly wanted to hear what you were thinking. It was cathartic and helpful for us. It has allowed us to very clearly see that if we have any respect for this blog and our love of it, and for you guys and what you’d like to see, we need to take a break if we ever want any hope of getting back to that fun/real/spontaneous place it used to be when this was something we did for the love instead of the high stakes game of supporting a family.
In summary: we love you, we thank you, and we hope you understand.
photobonafide says
knock knock?
COME BACK!!
Lori says
Not to whine, but I miss youuuuuuu. While it may have only been about a month, it feels like two. Let’s get back together, okay?
Hope your time away has been restorative and given you clarity for what you’d like to the future to hold!
Deborah says
After the crazy last year you’ve had, we completely understand why you need the break. We don’t have to like it, but we do understand it. You are missed. Thank you for opening your home, family and life to us. You feel like our best (never met – internet) friends, so this break does hurt our loyal reader hearts. I agree with a previous comment, maybe have someone else moderate comments, so that the nasty negativity that can be the internet doesn’t pull you under. Xoxo
Rachel says
Miss you guys! Hope you are doing well :-)
Angela says
I miss you guys!! I really hope that this break is giving you some peace and happiness, and wonderful time and new memories with those precious babies (and Burger) :D It’s amazing to see all the other folks on here that love ya’ll so much and (ALSO) check in to see if you’ve come back. ;) I hope that gives you some reassurance that you have us HOOKED and we love you! XOXO
DRD says
I came on board around Clara’s first birthday, and in the years since have read every single post. I’m a divorced mom of two, employed full-time outside the home, with a huge desire to make my house a home but lacking skills and talents in most of the areas needed to make that happen. I’ve learned so much from your blog and have lost track of the number of times I’ve sent friends URLs to specific posts. Thanks not only for all you’ve contributed over the years, but also for how you’ve done it – cheerfully, professionally, considerately, and openly.
Like so many others of your readers, I hope you’ll come back. Like so many other readers, though, I hope you find your balance, spark, new directions. etc, regardless of whether or not you’re blogging. Good luck, and best wishes.
Katie says
I just wanted to say… I am missing your blog! I’ve been by a few times and it makes me a little sad every time !
Kat says
Oh, and thank you for leaving the content up – it is so useful. As pp said before, you guys should be really proud of what Young House Love evolved into.
Kelly says
AGREED! I love being able to find old posts for references!
Jen says
As you can see from the replies, your fans will be here upon your return. Everyone needs a break to reinvigorate themselves and reset their priorities. I’ve honestly wondered with 2 kids and all those projects, and 2 blogs, how you managed to do it. I never had doubts that it had to be taking a toll. I’m glad you were both able to come to the decision to make yourselves and your family a priority. If you only blog once or twice a week in the future, I’ll be just as happy to keep up with that. Enjoy your time off. Your kids will certainly be overjoyed to have so much of your undivided time for now :)
Theresa says
I just wanted to say that I miss you guys! I hope you’re enjoying your Fall and those cute kiddos of yours! (And Burger too, of course)!
Alise Basset says
It feels like FOREVER since your last post. I miss you guys!
Whitney says
I’m still checking everyday to see if ya’ll are back yet. You have brought me so much joy in the years of reading Young House Love. I have admired your creativity, ability to multitask and work from home (I never knew how difficult it was to work at home until doing so for 6 months after my first child), entertain, and find the ability to make so many (after reading through lots of these comments) feel like they are your friends. I hope the break has been refreshing and fun and helped to renew your joy and passion for YHL because I really miss new posts and I really want to see what you do with your new house! Thanks for all you’ve given so far but I really selfishly hope more is to come.
sarah says
longest. month. ever… :)
Melissa says
Agreed!! :)
Melissa says
Missing you.
Jessica says
I seriously had a dream recently that you announced a new post on Facebook. It was real enough that I came to your site expecting to see something. Heartbreaking!
Sophie says
This has been the longest month of my life
Nicole says
I have always marveled at how well the two of you work together on projects at home. My husband and I have contemplated divorce after putting together an IKEA bookcase that took 6 hours. Please enjoy this time away from your readers, but please come back! You guys are an inspiration as well as an institution!
Megs says
Sigh… I miss your long, detailed project posts. I was loving all the new skills I was learning from you two. I cannot wait till you come back (and really hope you do!)
Jen says
Dear John & Sherry,
I love you!
Jen
Sarah Taylor says
Miss you guys <3
kerri says
okay, it’s almost been a month….I’m going through withdrawals….come back!
sheila says
Me TOOOO! I can’t take it anymore! We MIIIISSSSS YYYYOOUUUUUU!!!!
Leslie says
Is it weird that I dreamed that ya’ll posted twice this weekend? I miss you a lot apparently!
Amy says
Seriously dying here…come back please!
chelsea says
i check everyday. just hoping. i miss y’all/ i feel like my friends have moved away. in a totally non creepy way :)
Laura M says
Hope to see you soon!
Rach says
Miss you guys! I check back almost every day to see if you are back:) I totally understand that family comes first. Kids grow so fast and from personal experience I always encourage people to enjoy them and the time with them to the fullest. God bless you and your precious family!
Shanna Haycraft says
Just checking in to keep your site hits up :) Hope you guys come back soon!
Megan says
I wanted to check-in after reading the Post article over the weekend (written at the end of September regarding your burnout). As a regular reader and sometimes commenter, I really hope when (if?) you do come back, you just keep it simple – like you never left. I hate to think there needs to be some long explanation of the who/what/why details of your break. What always appealed to me about your blog was its personal touches, without being too personal overall; your witty quips without being political or controversial; your ability to make connections with your readers through quality writing and attainable pojects without being dramatic or arrogant. It’s a winning formula and not one many bloggers have been able to achieve. If you can keep that intact, along with your happiness and home life – you will have the gold mine this blog once was. If not, it was a great ride and your readers will be forever grateful for the fun and knowledge you shared. Good luck and best wishes.
kathyL says
Oh snap Megan! good point about slipping back in without a ripple in the water. No awkwardness for “our” kids. I miss them too. Keep hoping they do decide to start up again. I’d hate to miss that kitchen remodel! Plus I want to see the kids go to prom, etc.
Jennifer says
Can’t wait to hear from you guys again! We miss you!
SamanthaRI says
Is this month over yet?!!
rachel laree says
I thought this might be the day that you would return…..so sad.
Tamara says
Like everyone else, I miss you terribly. I’m still trying to figure out how I can you miss you guys so much when we’ve never even met! You feel like you’re my friends – ah, the illusion of the internet. Well, it’s really the strength of your writing, your awesome personalities, and your willingness to share yourselves with us. I do hope you’ll come back, even at a greatly reduced rate of posting. But I’ll totally understand if you don’t. You and your family come first, even if this is your job. Miss you and sending virtual hugs and happiness!
Monica says
Still checking back constantly, hoping today will be the day you’re back :( miss you guys
Elaine Wuensche says
I have been reading your site since you lived in your first house. My favorite room that you have redone to date has to be the den in the first house, what a transformation it was too, into a cozy, warm and welcoming room. You have both been an inspiration to me. We had a rental we had to sell and we used some of your ideas to update it and get is sold, which it did, within 24 hours. I am a 62 year old grandmother and I so understand that you need more of a normal life. When I saw the post, even before reading it, I knew. You have two children, things are crazy and Clara is getting ready for school next year and needs anonymity from the public’s view. I am hoping that you won’t quit completely, maybe once every few months or at least several times a year, but that is not my decision. I would love to see stage 2 of your home and would love to see what you finally do with your dinning room. Whatever your decision, thanks for inviting me into your home, blog and Instagram, I am not on twitter. I feel like singing the song from the last episode of Sienfeld. Whatever your decision is, thanks for all you have done and the inspiration you have given us all. Thanks for the inspiration you have given me. Elaine
Kari T says
I am selfishly hoping you guys are coming back. Soon. I just have so many questions; what is to become of the blue trim in the dining room? What is Clara saying these days? How big is Teddy getting? Does Burger miss photo shoots?
But mostly I just pray you guys find what’s right for your family. I hope you feel proud of YHL and know how much you are loved and appreciated by all your fans.
You are missed.
Allanna says
I’m yet another follower who’s really missing your posts. I’m hoping that things are going well for your family … and that you’ll be able (and have the desire) to post more of your wonderful projects … and general life. ^_^
I’m still keeping my ears perked for any announcements about your next book.
Sending lots of happy thoughts and love!
Amy S says
I’m one of the many readers who has enjoyed your blog for years, but rarely commented because it truly never occurred to me that you might like to hear some positive feedback. Um, duh! I was also blissfully unaware of all the unpleasantness out there on the internet. I mean, my goodness, who would suspect that anyone could have anything critical to say about either one of you? You have handled it amazingly well… not just the negativity, but the constant pressure that you must have felt to keep producing at such a high level for so long. And the idea that you owe anything to any of us is utterly absurd.
I am a little bit older than you, and my children are a little bit older than yours, and I have to say that I cracked under a lot less pressure than this. When my youngest child was not quite 1 and my oldest was 4, I “hit the wall” with trying to juggle work, home, family, etc. It was very hard, but I finally stepped off the crazy train (left my job and just in general started to take better care of myself). For months afterward, the feeling of relief and weightlessness and freedom was amazing. I can only imagine and hope that is what you are both feeling right now.
It took me a little while, but eventually I found my groove again… a more manageable job (in terms of hours and pressure) and a new routine that worked better for me and my family. It’s not perfect – I still have days and weeks that are overwhelming, but I think we all know that this will happen to us all no matter what our situation is. The difference is – this is now unusual instead of normal. The challenging weeks are just challenging instead of being unbearable. I can breathe again.
So, just take great confidence in knowing that changing up a successful career can still end very well. And all the skills and good judgment you have developed over the years will serve you well as you transition into a new phase of your life. I am no expert on life, careers, or parenting, but I have finally figured out one little nugget of wisdom. When I am feeling overwhelmed, whichever option fills me with the greatest sense of relief is the one I pick. It is pretty obvious, but sometimes we need permission or encouragement to make the easy or obvious choice. You are both class acts, and I hope that in unplugging from everything for a while, you were able to hear yourselves think again. I join with so many others who are rooting for your happy ending, whatever that may be. xo
Susan says
Wow, said so eloquently. +50! (from a mom to a 2 and 5 year old who took an unexpected year off then did a 90-degree career twist). I don’t know whether to wish that you come back for our sakes, or don’t for yours. I do like the idea of hiring a professional comment deleter/ filterer. In any case, know that I’m about to paint the interior of my front door red. I have the paint, the brush, now I’m just rereading your door-painting advice and screwing up the courage to start. Wish me luck!!
s says
Are you coming back yet? While I totally agree that you deserve a sabbatical/delayed maternity/paternity leave, I miss your blog! I even had a dream the other week that you were back posting because you couldn’t stand to be away (and had to show us Clara’s very stylish sidewalk chalk hopscotch!)
Judy Beeksma says
You are missed! Look forward to your return…regardless of whatever format you choose that to be. I hope that you are enjoying the fall season and that lovely family of yours!
Kaitlin says
Guuuuyyyssssss. Is this gonna be forever?!?! (read that in your “daniel goes to the dentist” voice)
Seriously though. So hopeful that your break has been therapeutic and that we’ll be hearing from you soon. We miss you!
Jenny says
I seriously come on here almost daily just thinking about telling you how much I miss you, so I finally did it. I miss you guys.
Marissa says
I was reading back on your blog, came across this post and felt it related to y’alls break.
https://www.younghouselove.com/2012/01/dealing-with-criticism/
Almost 3 years later now and these issues don’t seem to go away do they? I hope you re-read this post and pick up a little inspiration from yourselves. I love that y’all are taking a break, everyone needs one. We will be waiting for your return. Xoxo
Lindsey Q says
Yes, PLEASE re-read this! This is what you guys are all about.
Kendall says
The truth is, I got married yesterday. And as we try and develop new routines I find myself longing for a few old comforts. I’ve been reading your blog for a pretty solid 3 years…. And I miss you guys. And yes, on the day after I get married, I did find myself thinking… “Hey I wonder if John and Sherry are back?” Just thought you should know how very loved you are… In the most none creepy way possible. Hope all is well!
Christina W. says
Miss you!!!
Katharine says
I miss you!
Heidi says
I misssssssss yoooouuuuu!! Please coooooonmmmmeeee backkkkkkkk!
Lydia says
Just want to say…enjoy your time off with your family and when you are ready to come back, we will be here, waiting for you.
Christine says
S & J, I wonder if some of your discomfort comes from becoming minor celebrities through your blog. It doesn’t seem like celebrity is what you had in mind. Or how you see yourselves. Or what you want for your family. (uh, your kid referenced in the NYT? No thanks!) Maybe your next incarnation could be home designers for others who could really use a break. Hope you are well!!
J. :) says
Are we there yet?!?!?!??
It’s almost been a month!
Kayla says
Miss you and love you… that is all.