This post was 3,000 words long. They all felt overly complicated and heavy and weird. I clicked delete. Then I just typed what we’re really feeling, complete with things we’ve never said out loud and even a few things we’ve never fully admitted to ourselves before.
The truth is that we love you guys. Like for real. Even for the tough love. We know you say it because you care (or hopefully you did at some point), and we want you to know we care right back. We want to do a good job. We want to do this with joy and excitement. We want to inspire you. We know this is an incredible way to have made a living and we are full of gratitude for the experience to have shared the last seven years of our lives with you guys online.
We would NEVER be here without you, and not a day goes by that we don’t know that. It’s why we asked for your feedback last week and read every last comment. We appreciate the honesty and the passion you guys have on the topic of making this blog great. And we agree with a lot of what was being said. We have been feeling off for a while – like we have lost our rhythm and we’re somehow missing the mark for ourselves and for you guys. We too miss the good old days when we did this for the love and were full of such obvious joy and spontaneity. This felt like a place we all hung out and it just doesn’t have that vibe anymore.
Over the years many amazing opportunities popped up for us. Things we never dreamed of doing in a million years, and things we’re incredibly grateful to have had the chance to experience. A book deal, curating paint picks with Benjamin Moore, a line sold at Target, a showhouse, etc. But in hindsight those things also made this feel a lot more like a business than a personal blog to many of you, and to us as well. We have actually ramped those down behind the scenes in an attempt to get back to our roots (we no longer do the BM color collection, the second book is mostly written, our products at Target have completed their run, and we finished the showhouse) but we never really made a big announcement about that – so it’s completely understandable that some of you might think we’ve moved on to those greener pastures and left the blog in the dust, so to speak. The reality is that our site propels the success of any outside project like a product or book, so we could never turn our backs on the blog and expect those items to continue to sell as well.
Not only have we felt this shift from “John and Sherry” to “Young House Love: The Brand”, but the blogosphere as a whole has become increasingly sponsored/corporate lately. We can see from the outside prospective as a reader, or even a fellow blogger, that it’s hard to read a blog post without suspecting some ulterior motive or money-making system behind it. Last week a few of you mentioned that we might need to keep giveaways around because they pay us well, which surprised us since they’re never something we accept payment for (we like to pass free things along to you as a thank you for reading).
Along with the whole business/brand thing that’s going on, and the side gigs that felt like they muddied the water for some of you, there are certainly other things we wish we had handled differently in hindsight. Just to name a few, there’s: being too defensive, over-explaining, letting things get in our heads and change our lighthearted approach, and the internal struggle between being transparent and oversharing personal details like a vacant new house without an alarm system (looking back we wish we’d handled our third house announcement differently). We know many of you felt insulted that we didn’t share more freely about that house, and we truly apologize.
Anyway, back to that whole “we’re sexy stumbling and you know it” thing. It’s endlessly frustrating to do a job that you love poorly, especially when it’s a blog baby that you’ve birthed yourself and nurtured for seven years. And especially when it’s such an amazing job that we once felt so inspired and joyful to wake up and do each day. What’s wrong with us? We know this is a dream job. We acknowledge it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. We know most people who have built something like this would be more inspired than ever. It’s not that we lost the gratitude, I think it’s that we feel like we’ve fallen out of our groove. We feel like we’re letting you guys down repeatedly. It got to the point that every time we pressed “publish” we braced ourselves.
So in an attempt to stop stumbling around and feeling like we just can’t get it back, we’re taking a break. We don’t know exactly how long we’ll be stepping away, but our guess would be at least a month. We will certainly be exploring other options for supporting our family (something we mentioned we were considering back in April). We had that fiery blog-spark back when we had day jobs and did this as a hobby, so we think it could be a good change. We’ll also be taking a break on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, but the blog will stay public so you guys can access the archives whenever you’d like.
Our internal struggle and the state of this blog is entirely of our making, and we completely own that. Please don’t get mad at anyone for being honest with their feedback last week or accuse them of sending us packing. We have been struggling with that “something is off” feeling for a while now, and after way too much denial and “we’ll turn it around” pep talks, we finally asked for your feedback because we truly wanted to hear what you were thinking. It was cathartic and helpful for us. It has allowed us to very clearly see that if we have any respect for this blog and our love of it, and for you guys and what you’d like to see, we need to take a break if we ever want any hope of getting back to that fun/real/spontaneous place it used to be when this was something we did for the love instead of the high stakes game of supporting a family.
In summary: we love you, we thank you, and we hope you understand.
Rachel English Farley says
Definitely understand the need for a sabbatical but just know that people miss you! I miss eagerly checking every weekday morning for a new post.
Katie says
I’m weeks late reading this. However, I have to say, it’s good to hear I haven’t hung up my blogging hat alone. Y’all are the very first home DIY and decorating blog I had the pleasure of following and what ultimately, inspired me to start my own. As my little boy closes in on his fourth birthday, I can’t say that I regret not updating in almost a year. What’s caught on camera and edited and published for archives is nothing like LIVING it! Enjoy your time as a family. It’s fleeting!! Regardless of your reasoning, you’ll be missed….but ALWAYS and inspiration.
Amanda P says
I just wanted to wish you both the best in whatever venture you decide going forward. I have enjoyed your DIY tips, reading about how you save money and celebrate your relationship/family, and of course, the miscellaneous music references. I know my fiance and I enjoy working on projects together and feel a sense of pride afterward (although they cannot compare with what you all have done in your home). I hope you both can experience that feeling again, whether it be with your blog (which is definitely missed) or other projects. Thanks for letting us into your home and note that although comments and other pressure may have hurt, I have always been impressed with how you both handle it with class. Enjoy your break!
Megan says
Although I’m late to discovering your blog (but glad I have now), I whole-heartedly support your break. From one blogger to another, blogging is A TON of WORK. Even if you are just doing it for fun (me, right now). It takes an enormous amount of time and energy to run a blog/website. I’ve only been blogging for about 9 months and I’ve already experienced that weird inner turmoil. Once you feel an obligation– self-imposed or not, the fun factor slowly starts to decrease. Blogging paired with social media is 24/7. But, everyone needs the luxury of being able to unplug for a while for their own sanity! I wish you guys the best and hope you are able to relax and refresh! In the meantime, I will be perusing through your archives while you are away. Good luck! <3
TBTblog.com
Ali Miller says
Hi J&S, My husband thinks I’m crazy (how many readers have told you that over the years?) because it has really taken me a while to decide what to say, and I’m still not sure. I just knew that I wanted to be sure to show my support. Ironically, I was on vacation when you made this post — our first full week of vacation in 6 years of marriage. I’ve been reading since your first house, and met you guys at the book signing in Dallas. I drove from Mississippi. I’m on of those “my husband thinks I’m crazy because I talk about you guys like we’re bffs” fans. You guys have so many supportive readers, and your way of writing has made us all feel so close to you. Your care to keep it feeling personal by reading and commenting back has created the tight-knit community of followers who will always stand behind you–no matter what you decide to do.
I think that as the blog has grown, and the internet has changed, you have also grown. And we, your readers, have also grown and changed. Someone once told me that in any relationship, the beginning is so very different from the end, and even the middle (The middle makes no sense!). You can’t expect a relationship to stay in that “puppy love” stage forever. People WILL change. But if two people love each other, they must learn to change and grow together. I think that applies here. Your blog has to change over time. Nothing can stay the same forever. I think you have plenty of readers who will change and grow with you. We love you. But of course, the internet can also be a cruel place. I’m sure there are many who have lots of criticisms. I have a tendency to take things very personal, so I can’t imagine reading all the comments of people letting me know they wished I would change this, or change that. While I love input on all my problems, you guys get ALOT of input, and it would be very hard for me, personally, to handle. I’m sure it is exhausting, and it would be very emotional for me.
I also hope you are able to grasp the amount of inspiration you have provided. I made a comment once several years ago (I have no idea on which post) that you had influenced my life not only in regards to DIY and decorating, but also in the way you handle your budget, organizing, and even your posts on how to keep a clean house. I bought my first house in 2010, and you have been a big influence and motivator to me.
Best wishes for whichever path you next travel. If you return, you will have plenty of followers who love you for you, and who you will continue to inspire. If you do not return, please know that you and your work will always have a very special place in my heart, and many others.
xo,
-a
Sam says
Very well stated, I feel the same way!
Pam the Goatherd says
Has it been a month yet? It feels like an eternity! I hope your family is feeling refreshed and getting to the point where you feel like you might miss blogging just a little bit. I hope all the love that everyone has been posting here for you is giving you the encouragement that you need to make the decision to come back to us.
Michelle says
i have been following this blog since before it was YHL, before Clara, just as you were starting on the first house. I love all and I do hope you will be back. Every day that I open up my feedly and don’t see a “1” next to my subscription for YHL, I’m sad. Really sad. We’ve all grown to feel like we know you because we love what you have given us, what you share, and we’ve been watching your family grow. We are buying a house and while mostly perfect, there are things I’ve already thought about wanting to do in the future that you’ve inspired. I do hope you will be back, in whatever way that will look. You are missed.
AlisonG says
Just checking in to say hello. Just know that there are many people looking for your return. You are missed. Ignore the trolls and hopefully they go away:)
Jenn says
I miss you guys so much!
Holly says
I miss you. Please come back :) I look forward to your blog every morning. No matter what it is. I get my cup of coffee, open my email, and read your blog before I start my work day. Now when I open my email I get depressed because I remember you’re not blogging at the moment. I understand where you are coming from, and just want to show my support for your work and family and hope you make the best decision for you. Miss you
stgilbert says
Good for you! Nothing should ever impose on time with your family, even your business.
Rebecca says
Just stopping by to say “Hi” and I miss you. :)
~RM
Amy says
I have followed your blog for many years. In fact, I think I found you on rate my space in 2008. You have been such an inspiration to me. I absolutely love to be inspired by what others have done and to then in turn do it myself. It pushes my way of thinking. My husband always asks why I am constantly changing our home and I tell him that it’s my outlet, my way of getting to be creative. So here’s to you rekindling your love of all things creative and finding your inspiration. So many people have said how much you inspired them, I think it would be neat to have a place to post pictures to see those projects/rooms!
Melody says
You are missed …
Kristin says
Is the break over yet? I miss reading your posts! Hoping all is well and you will be back soon (as long as it is what makes sense for you and your sweet family).
Sophie says
I miss you. Please come back.
Rabia says
Please come back!
Josh Donahue says
Hey guys, just now reading this post. My wife is an avid reader and shows me your stuff all the time. I come here as well for inspiration. Honestly though, y’all need your own HGTV show. This blog is amazing and to see you guys on a cute show would be the best! You’re awesome, amazing, and wonderful. As someone who also puts himself out there, I get quite a lot of “Constructive Criticism” and have felt myself not being quite in the groove. Sabbaticals are always healthy. I hope the next chapter for y’all is even awesome-r than the last. Only positive and good things from here!!!!!!!
Erin A says
okay…enough already of the blogging strike! Come back to us!!! We miss you!!
Lynn @ Safebeauty says
So when I said tomorrow you know I meant around 3-4 days later right? ;) So let’s stroll down memory lane, shall we? The year was 2009, a much younger eager beaver of a human Lynn was online and stumbled upon this little blog called Young House Love. We were in the midst of trying to decide whether we wanted to stay in our cute little 3 bedroom rental house or take the plunge and sign on the dotted line for an actual grown up pad. I read your whole archives in about a week and declared “We must buy a fixer-upper, and it will be the greatest thing ever.” After getting Michael on board and showing him multiple posts of yours “See how John does this? You are the same height so that means of COURSE you can do it too!” was said with far too much enthusiasm multiple times throughout the years. :) Now I have come here for my daily dose of all things good for so many years that it’s tragic how little of “this right here” exists on the internet anymore. When I was in the hospital knocking on deaths door last year who was there to lift me up? You’s guys! On rainy days (when we can’t paint) what blog am I looking up everything house related on? Ridehere!
Sooo…we’ve been through alot you have to admit. And in the words of the great Natalie Cole, I miss you like crazy. I hope all is well.
My best, Lynn
champagneandlollipops says
Lynn that was awesome. :)
Carolina says
Miss you guys!!
Mary Felsher says
Everyone says choose a career you love to earn a living…blogging today is a career. It is perfectly OK to receive compensation. Just checkout Chickens in the Road. Love it and the founder admits she had to find a way to make it pay.
Emily says
I hope you have someone else approving comments for you and are taking a real, well-deserved break. Best of luck to your family x
Julie says
I’m having a hard time with this break up! I know you said at least a month but I still check daily to see if you’ve changed your mind. Just goes to show how much you guys have become a part of your readers lives. I hope you are enjoying your much needed family time and slower paced days! We miss you and hope you’ll come back soon!
Giselle A says
Hey guys,
This is so awkward, I don’t know what to say. I don’t remember how I found your blog – I don’t even read blogs – but I found you years ago and felt instant friendship. I definitely talk about you like you’re my people, and when you posted this, it hit hard, you were definitely breaking up with me. That’s only fair. This has been a one-sided relationship. I’ve never even posted before, I don’t comment, I don’t share, nothing. It has taken me weeks to even get up the courage to write something, and I’m already faltering.
I just wanted to get the chance to say how awesome you both are, and your whole family. I love how open you are and how much you do share. And I love that you stay positive, even when it’s tough. You’re a great example of good people and a good relationship, who love each other and present that front to the world, willing to take whatever comes at you.
I’d say sure there’s been a change on your blog over the years – huge change! And yeah, recently maybe the special spark was missing, and the feeling was different. But we only recognize it because we’ve read you every day for years and feel like we know you and your moods and your tones. Geez, we’re such crazy stalkers.
But I for one have only been crazy excited to see you change and grow and develop. This whole thing is freaking awesome! You’re awesome. Seriously. Each new opportunity and each new thing you tackle and the enthusiasm you have for each new challenge (book, show house, target, whatever), is infectious and inspiring. YHL “the brand” only exists because of you and your passion. And I think it’s a great thing, a great stepping stone, to whatever new and awesome projects lie in your future (DIY or otherwise).
Would I love to keep reading a post from you every day – hells yes. But that’s just because I think you two are the most awesomest faux-friends a person could ask for. Whatever you end up doing, even if it’s moving on because you’ve outgrown this bloggy blog or whatever, I’m happy you shared this with us and I’m actually pretty excited for your future potential, even while sad about the changes in our “relationship”.
Thank you for all of your time. Thank you for all of your work and effort. Thank you for sharing your life with us, with me. Just, thank you. And good luck
Love,
G
Melissa says
^ What she said!
Christina says
Love this!! ^^ Totally feel the same <3 I really hope you come back though ;)
MelissaG says
I ditto this as well!! Miss you guys!
Jenn says
Sherry and John, I have very little in common with you in terms of where we’re at in life, and my decorating style is quite different than yours. Nevertheless, this is one of my few daily blog reads because of your genuine and positive voices. I discovered YHL during a very hopeless period of my life, and it ended up being an unexpected bit of light every day because your joy and enthusiasm shone through in your writing. I totally get needing to take a break if you feel you’ve been missing the very thing that makes YHL resonate with so many. I can’t understand comments insinuating that this break was totally caused by, or intended to be punishment for the readers who offered criticism. It seems pretty clear to me that things were feeling forced for you, you asked for feedback, got confirmation that a number of readers also felt things were off, and rather than deciding to try to force things even more (which always backfires), you decided to step back and regroup. No sure why that’s so hard to understand for some. Anyways, I hope you can recover your mojo, and find a way to make blogging manageable and fun again.
lynda says
Are we there yet?
Diana T. says
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k9e157Ner90
Not spam. Mr. Waite just says it better than I can.
Heather says
I miss you. The inner webs are boring without u guys!
champagneandlollipops says
Just stopped by to tell you I miss you guys. I hope that this break is not a break up ;) Wishing you and your family happy, healthy and restful time together xoxo
Brandi W., Westfield, NJ says
It is so easy for people to state their disappointment in things…particularly when they have no idea how something works. Many of us absolutely love how you do things. Success takes work and continued success means even more work and attention (such as all the other projects YHL tackles). Wouldn’t it be great if everyone that approached a new venture, like what you did, would have the great success that has followed all your hard work. Don’t let the negative comments cloud or pursued the ENORMOUS accomplishments that you have made. MANY of us absolutely LOVE our daily YHL read. Hope you are able to get the clarity you need during your time away. YHL will be greatly missed!
Marcela says
Missing my daily YHL read! I hope you guys are enjoying this sabbatical but I can’t wait until you (hopefully!) come back! This is my favorite blog!
Jen @ The Decor Scene says
You are very missed!!! I still check every day to see if you have come back. I hope your time away has been a refreshing one for the whole family. I hope you come back soon. Really miss your posts, your sense of humor and your inspiration.
Lindsey Q says
I have never checked into a blog I *knew* would not be updating so many times in my life. I have never read so many pages of comments on a post in my life.
I miss you guys. Last night I was curtain-shopping with my husband as we try to set up our newlywed home. I bought some curtains, and then felt buyer’s remorse all the way home because I didn’t know if they were what I wanted. And then, I said, “Well, do you know what John and Sherry do? They just buy multiple things and try them out to see what works best!” So I know it’s safe for me to go out and buy some other options and just return them. I know that seems silly to say–and it’s kind of a duh thing, anyway–but the point is… I think of you guys when trying to make decisions about my house. You guys are our role models. We’re young newlyweds much like you were when you started this. We’re trying our best to make our rental home our own, and I feel like my friends just moved away (haha, a lot of real life friends actually did). I want you guys to come back. I need your advice and your encouragement. Seriously. You have no idea how much I’m debating about these curtains!
I know you need a break. I’m glad you’re taking one. But it makes me upset to know that people are hatin’, even if haters gon hate. And like I would be of a friend who is under fire, I’m defensive of you guys, and want you to rise above this and “get your groove back” (someone earlier posted How John and Sherry Got Their Groove Back as a comeback post title, and YES.)
Anyway, you guys are my faves. Please come back soon! I hope you’re enjoying your time off. :)
Joy says
Longest month evah!!!!! Miss you guys. Just realized it was close to your blogiversity week. Doesnt seem right without the updates :( Come back soon.
Christy says
My heart broke a little bit when I read this post a couple weeks ago- I love John and Sherry being part of my weekly routine. Will miss you greatly and think so positively of both of you and your decisions!
Charmayne says
Miss you guys :(
LifestyleDoctorMom says
I keep waiting for a blog post that says “We’re baaaack” Miss the posting! hope you are enjoying your time!
Jessica says
Hi John and Sherry! I am a long time lover and have followed you for years. This however is my first time commenting. I’m sure there are countless others out there just like me who have silently been on the sidelines cheering you on. Please come back, I miss you!
Joy says
Like many readers, I’ve been checking on a near-daily basis for news or announcements in regard to the fate of YHL. For myself, I hope you continue to post more of the motivating projects and insights we’ve come to love but, ultimately, I hope you find the best balance for you and your family. Just know, you are missed.
Jessica says
Well let me just say that I can’t wait for whatever new adventure waits for you guys! I too was in the design industry way back when and somewhere along the way I felt I had lost my spark. I moved on to something else that inspired me and while searching for that new career four years ago, I came across your wonderful blog! I have always loved your passion, style, ability to write, share, photograph, and let your personalities shine through your blog. One month ago my husband and I bought our first home and we began a before and after photo stream to document the process of tearing down walls and creating something we love. I will be searching through the archives to find additional inspiration so thank you for keeping the blog public! You guys make such a wonderful team and have amazing taste. You will be very missed but I can only imagine what this breath of fresh air will bring to your family.
Joanne says
I’ve been checking YHL every few days since you posted this. I love your blog and your family! Whatever you do, follow your hearts. They got you this far and I know I trust em’ :)
I hope your enjoying your break and I look forward to seeing what’s in store for you. Thank you for everything.
Katherine says
Are you done with the break now? Can you come back please?
Grace C says
Everyday I check to see if you guys are back….come back!!! It’s okay if you guys post less or do it as a side hobby. Come back!!!
Amanda V says
I don’t know if someone said this before because I did not read thru the 4000+ comments. But I must admit something really changed in our family when we had the second kid. I struggled for a while to tell my husband how life felt different and the best I could come up with was “It feels like the honeymoon is finally over.” Up until that point everything about marriage and family life seemed easy and natural, and after the second I felt like I was doing everything poorly. I think this was probably due to the fact that my free time went to zero and I never had any reserves ever anymore. That is a hard way to live.
But the good news is that humans are very adaptable and I was able to prioritize what was most important and just let other things go. You get used to the new normal and learn to embrace it. Plus seeing your two kids play together is like mommy crack that will leave you feeling high for days. We are about to have our third kid in 6 weeks, hopefully all goes well.
Ashley H. says
Hi John and Sherry,
I recently returned to reading your blog after a couple months “away.” I was saddened to read that you had decided to take a break, mostly because it sounds as though you have been struggling with a lot lately. I’m sure this is a very difficult time for you, but I truly hope that you will find peace and clarity during this time away. This is a big decision to make, and certainly not one that you are taking lightly, I’m sure. With that being said, I hope that you are finding comfort, love, and encouragement in knowing that SO MANY READERS respect and appreciate what you do. I think it is really important to love what you do (most days, at least) and if this just isn’t “it” anymore, it’s totally okay. SERIOUSLY. It’s totally okay to walk away from something even if it seems crazy to everyone else. Please remember that while it may not “feel” like it, you two don’t owe anything to anyone. Your readers love your blog and certainly want to see YHL continue on, but if it’s time to take a break, or even move on, please take comfort in knowing that the majority of your readers are authentic, understanding people who recognize that difficult decisions are part of life. You have a loyal following who will support you no matter what you decide!
xoxo,
Ashley
Jennifer says
Just wanted to add a big fat ditto to Ashley’s words. How I feel to a “T”.
Best,
Jennifer
Shannon C. says
Just wanted to pop in to say we miss you guys! Not in a pressure-to-come-back-before-you’re-ready way but in a you’re-important-to-us-and-we-hope-all-is-well-and-that-you-are-able-to-make-good-decisions-for-your-family way.
Beth Kyle says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56IkeAW6YH4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY
:)
Kristine says
do what’s best for your family, but know you are greatly missed :(
Lindsey says
I’m not the type to write reply messages; however, I just had to leave a note of encouragement. You have been a rare breath of fresh air and I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts and feeling like part of your family. I know you both have tons of creativity left to share, and I look forward to reading it… by the way, no pressure. :) God bless.