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Young House Love » Random » Feeeeeelings

| By Sherry Petersik | September 9, 2014 | 5,348 Comments

Feeeeeelings

This post was 3,000 words long. They all felt overly complicated and heavy and weird. I clicked delete. Then I just typed what we’re really feeling, complete with things we’ve never said out loud and even a few things we’ve never fully admitted to ourselves before.

The truth is that we love you guys. Like for real. Even for the tough love. We know you say it because you care (or hopefully you did at some point), and we want you to know we care right back. We want to do a good job. We want to do this with joy and excitement. We want to inspire you. We know this is an incredible way to have made a living and we are full of gratitude for the experience to have shared the last seven years of our lives with you guys online.

We would NEVER be here without you, and not a day goes by that we don’t know that. It’s why we asked for your feedback last week and read every last comment. We appreciate the honesty and the passion you guys have on the topic of making this blog great. And we agree with a lot of what was being said. We have been feeling off for a while – like we have lost our rhythm and we’re somehow missing the mark for ourselves and for you guys. We too miss the good old days when we did this for the love and were full of such obvious joy and spontaneity. This felt like a place we all hung out and it just doesn’t have that vibe anymore.

Over the years many amazing opportunities popped up for us. Things we never dreamed of doing in a million years, and things we’re incredibly grateful to have had the chance to experience. A book deal, curating paint picks with Benjamin Moore, a line sold at Target, a showhouse, etc. But in hindsight those things also made this feel a lot more like a business than a personal blog to many of you, and to us as well. We have actually ramped those down behind the scenes in an attempt to get back to our roots (we no longer do the BM color collection, the second book is mostly written, our products at Target have completed their run, and we finished the showhouse) but we never really made a big announcement about that – so it’s completely understandable that some of you might think we’ve moved on to those greener pastures and left the blog in the dust, so to speak. The reality is that our site propels the success of any outside project like a product or book, so we could never turn our backs on the blog and expect those items to continue to sell as well.

Not only have we felt this shift from “John and Sherry” to “Young House Love: The Brand”, but the blogosphere as a whole has become increasingly sponsored/corporate lately. We can see from the outside prospective as a reader, or even a fellow blogger, that it’s hard to read a blog post without suspecting some ulterior motive or money-making system behind it. Last week a few of you mentioned that we might need to keep giveaways around because they pay us well, which surprised us since they’re never something we accept payment for (we like to pass free things along to you as a thank you for reading).

Along with the whole business/brand thing that’s going on, and the side gigs that felt like they muddied the water for some of you, there are certainly other things we wish we had handled differently in hindsight. Just to name a few, there’s: being too defensive, over-explaining, letting things get in our heads and change our lighthearted approach, and the internal struggle between being transparent and oversharing personal details like a vacant new house without an alarm system (looking back we wish we’d handled our third house announcement differently). We know many of you felt insulted that we didn’t share more freely about that house, and we truly apologize.

Anyway, back to that whole “we’re sexy stumbling and you know it” thing. It’s endlessly frustrating to do a job that you love poorly, especially when it’s a blog baby that you’ve birthed yourself and nurtured for seven years. And especially when it’s such an amazing job that we once felt so inspired and joyful to wake up and do each day. What’s wrong with us? We know this is a dream job. We acknowledge it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. We know most people who have built something like this would be more inspired than ever. It’s not that we lost the gratitude, I think it’s that we feel like we’ve fallen out of our groove. We feel like we’re letting you guys down repeatedly. It got to the point that every time we pressed “publish” we braced ourselves.

So in an attempt to stop stumbling around and feeling like we just can’t get it back, we’re taking a break. We don’t know exactly how long we’ll be stepping away, but our guess would be at least a month. We will certainly be exploring other options for supporting our family (something we mentioned we were considering back in April). We had that fiery blog-spark back when we had day jobs and did this as a hobby, so we think it could be a good change. We’ll also be taking a break on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, but the blog will stay public so you guys can access the archives whenever you’d like.

Our internal struggle and the state of this blog is entirely of our making, and we completely own that. Please don’t get mad at anyone for being honest with their feedback last week or accuse them of sending us packing. We have been struggling with that “something is off” feeling for a while now, and after way too much denial and “we’ll turn it around” pep talks, we finally asked for your feedback because we truly wanted to hear what you were thinking. It was cathartic and helpful for us. It has allowed us to very clearly see that if we have any respect for this blog and our love of it, and for you guys and what you’d like to see, we need to take a break if we ever want any hope of getting back to that fun/real/spontaneous place it used to be when this was something we did for the love instead of the high stakes game of supporting a family.

In summary: we love you, we thank you, and we hope you understand.

Love Rock

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Filed Under: Random

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Comments

  1. Grace C says

    September 23, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Come back!!!

    Reply
  2. CarrieLea says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    Just stopped by to say I missed you guys. Not necessarily your projects or your house but just you. I catch myself wondering how you are doing with all of this. You are (were? :( ) one of the few remaining constants from 6 years ago when I bought my house and started reading. John taught me how to tile a bathroom!
    I feel like my friends (that’s probably creepy since you don’t know me at all!) broke up with me and I want to call them and go to coffee (or a bar, but since one of said friends is nursing I won’t suggest that. :) ) and work it all out. And I’m internet stalking.
    But I really adore you and your family and I want what is best for you. Truly. And if anyone deserves a break you do!

    Reply
  3. Stephanie says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    Another long time reader anxiously waiting your return!

    Reply
  4. Page says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    A daily reader since 2009 is still in mourning here and so in need of a YHL grief support group! :-(

    Reply
  5. Holly P. says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    I’ve been using the archive for years (ONE DAY we WILL finally finish the laundry room like your house #1), and these last few weeks I’ve been picking random posts just to feel like you’re still here every day…so although I’ve crossed over into a whole new world of pathetic I love that I’m finding new inspiration from the past. Hope you guys are doing well. Thank you for everything, really.

    Reply
  6. Wendy says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    This comment thread is like 4000+ adoring fans holding up their Bic lighters wanting more! We love you guys, and we’re just hoping for an encore or two… or two thousand. xoxo

    Reply
    • Kismet says

      September 24, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      Vic lighters. Live that image.
      Do please reconsider and cone back.

  7. Valerie! says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    I’m late to the party to reply (looks like I’m about 4500th to comment!), but I just wanted to say how much I love you guys and appreciate your blog. I’ve used countless tips from you on our house over the years and have come to really trust the home improvements and products you recommend. I definitely understand needing a break, so when you’re ready, I will be here, ready to read!!! Thank you guys for sharing your lives with us for all these years!!!

    Reply
  8. Molly says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    I definitely had a dream last night that you two were posting again. ahhahaa please do come back in October. :)

    Reply
  9. Vickielovesjeff says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    See. You are loved and appreciated. And missed.

    Reply
  10. SherryB says

    September 23, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    I miss you guys, both your talent and your wit. But I also miss seeing new Clara and Teddy photos that always made me smile.

    Reply
  11. Sarah says

    September 23, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    Sherry and John, as a long time reader and lover of this blog I like so many others are awaiting your return. But I just wanted to tell you for what it is worth–If this is the end of the line for young house love “the blog” it’s ok. If you have outgrown this site and it’s no longer a passion for you please don’t feel like you are letting anyone of us down. We will all find new (although begrudgingly) sites to take up our internet reading. You only have one life to live and you should be spending that time doing what makes you happy.

    Reply
    • Kelly says

      September 23, 2014 at 8:20 pm

      I completely agree with Sarah. It is easy for us to forget that you are actually real people with your own needs and wants. I know that there are some haters out there and I cannot understand what kind of thick skin you must have to put yourselves out there as much as you do. But you have so many followers and fans out here and it is your personalities that make us feel like you are our friends. That isn’t easily replaced by “some other blog”. Yes, if this is the end, we will move on and wish you the best. But for so many selfish reasons I hope you’re back in full swing as soon as tomorrow! I miss you guys and haven’t even searched for another blog to follow to replace you. I just keep clicking the bookmark hoping to see a new post.

    • Emily V. says

      September 24, 2014 at 10:50 am

      I agree with Sarah! Just know that you have so much support and love around you!!

  12. Marlayna says

    September 23, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    As your lives (and mine) grow and change it’s fun to see that reflected in your blog. It’s relatable, inspiring and fun to follow along with your witty, happy, creative family and see how you’re building your lives, managing the new phases and making it all your own. I think we are all trying to do that too and I feel like your blog sends a message that you can DIY(Do It Yourself/Design It Your way) no matter what part of life your in or how much $ you have to do it with. I’m hopeful and excited to be inspired by your creativity in DIYing life with a family of 4, transitioning a passion like blogging/being self-employed, managing family/happiness with a regular job life, finding ways to making over your forever home, life with a beachy/rental home (if you’ll still do that), etc. Excited to see how this phase transforms and how you do it Petersik style. :)

    Hope you honor the way you all feel and take however much time off you need. I will look forward to whatever’s next and if it’s nothing, your last 7 years have lots of gems in them I’m going to be happy to come back and use in the future!

    Reply
  13. Erin says

    September 23, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    My work day has been a little slower the past few weeks without the 10AM YHL read :(

    I hope you are enjoying your time away and I understand that you need to do what’s best for you and your family. Just wanted to let you know that you are missed!

    Reply
  14. Jessie says

    September 23, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    I have only commented a handful of times in the 5 years I’ve been reading your blog. Just wanted to stop by and say you are dearly missed.

    Reply
  15. c3amandahicks says

    September 23, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    DON’T STOP BLOGGING!!!! Only stop if it is what you prefer to do. As for response to the survey / questionnaire…..it is my experience whiney people like to talk more than happy people :) I love your blog, everyone loves the blog….haven’t been looking as much b/c I’ve been busy with work but that doesn’t mean it is AWESOME.

    Reply
  16. Marie says

    September 23, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    I second someone else’s comment…I’m holding up my bic lighter and calling for an encore. I was drywalling today and missing you guys with every scrape of the joint knife or whatever its called.

    Reply
  17. Alex P says

    September 23, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    Just wanted to swing by and say that I MISS you guys, and your family, projects, overall life in general. You guys have been a constant for me, even though I do not know you, I feel like we would get along :) Hoping your month off is bringing you all some amazing time with your family, fun adventures, and hopefully excitement to come back to blogging! Mainly, hoping you all are well….. and letting you know that your readers miss you guys!

    Reply
  18. Miranda says

    September 23, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    Has it been a month already??? I hope you guys are enjoying the “time away” and feeling like sharing more deets about all things young house love-ish. In the meantime, I have been re-reading my book to get the YHL fix :)

    Reply
  19. Amelia says

    September 23, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Hey there, Petersiks~ If you’re still reading comments, I just want you to know that I miss you guys like crazy — especially now that we’ve just moved into our first house! I find myself thinking “What would John and Sherry do?” 3 or 4 times a day, AT LEAST.

    Anyway, thank you for being the best-friends-I’ve-never-met and serving up such great inspiration for the past 7 years. The internet just isn’t the same without you!

    Reply
  20. Katie says

    September 23, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    Miss you John and Sherry! I hope you are enjoying your time off, but please come back soon!

    Reply
  21. Katie DeKoster says

    September 23, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    We clearly don’t know each other (although my sister, mom, and I were 2nd in line at your Chicago West Elm signing and have our photo with you up on our family calendar!!), but I still feel like my friends have moved away. I’ve tried to think of a good comment to leave every day since you posted this, but could just never think of anything original enough… The short story is: I miss you! You have been my favorite daily read for years and years and I just wish that I had commented more often to say how special this place is. Please come back!

    Reply
  22. Chris says

    September 23, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    The ads on the home page are back…Maybe that’s a good sign?

    Sheesh, I really don’t have a life. I should go fold some laundry or pack lunches for the kids.

    :(

    Reply
  23. Tisha A says

    September 23, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    It has only been 24 days…82 pages…4,445 comments since your last post.

    But who’s counting? ;)

    Missing you…Teddy is probably getting so big…and Clara is probably being so funny….and Burger is probably laying around somewhere. I sincerely hope you are both enjoying every minute of it! We just want you to know that you are all loved!

    Reply
    • Tisha A says

      September 29, 2014 at 11:56 pm

      OK! So I totally miscounted when I posted this before…since today is 20 days since your last post. (I’m an idiot…and a public one at that!) But just so you know it seeeeeems like FOREVER!

      We miss you, Petersiks!

  24. Sarah K. says

    September 23, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    Missing you all so much. Your blog is really the only one I consistently follow, and it is so sad to feel like your friend has moved away. :( If you decide to continue blogging, know that your readers will be waiting to welcome you back with open arms!!

    Reply
  25. My Southern Expression says

    September 23, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    I have been a reader from the very first few weeks of your blog. I want you to know that I’ve missed you guys and totally understand you needing to take a break. However, I do hope you will come back but if not; I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do.

    Reply
  26. Robin cotton says

    September 23, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    Missing you guys ! I’ve never posted but you were my first read everyday and Im
    missing you !

    Reply
  27. Barbara says

    September 23, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    Okay guys, jokes over. Come back. We won’t do it again.

    Reply
  28. Sarah says

    September 23, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    In summary: love you, miss you, hope you are enjoying lots of delicious cuddles with teddy and hilarious conversations with Clara. Lean in to what you love, and if that’s the blog then we will all be thrilled but if your hearts have moved on then I wish you lots of joy in your new adventures.

    Reply
  29. sunshineandwhiskeyblog says

    September 23, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    I have come back and read this post about ten times now. As a long-time follower from back when you were “This Young House” and long before either of you were full-time bloggers, I was initially stunned to see this post. Then, upon reading many of the comments that led you to decide to take the break, I realized I also shared some of the same feelings a other readers. It has been amazing to see you two grow not only as bloggers, but as a family, as entrepreneurs, and it inspires me as a small-time blogger on a daily basis. I remember how I was SUPER flattered to be featured on here way back in 2010 for a reader redesign:

    https://www.younghouselove.com/2010/09/reader-redesign-screen-gems/

    And I can totally understand the pressure to keep up with writing not only for what the readers want, but writing for what will grow your blog as well. I, too, have missed some of the simpler quick posts that we all know and love. They were great to just click on and see what new thing you were up to. “Budget Blooms” were some of my favorite posts.

    For about the last year, I found myself clicking over to Pinterest more often than visiting blogs, but YHL was (and is!) still a daily click for me. Instead of reading through and commenting, however, I found myself scrolling through the long detailed tutorials unless it was directly related to something I needed help with. I feel like I am always hoping for a taste of what it was like back when. Change is hard, but where I am going with this is that at the end of the day you two are still two people just making a living, and change is necessary for growth.

    You are John and you are Sherry. You have two beautiful children and one cute chihuahua. Those things wont change. You have built an amazing platform and you have enough readers and support that you can probably go any direction you choose and still be successful. So, on that note, do what you want with your blog! It’s YOURS! I’ll still be a loyal follower.

    And yea, as I typed “do what you want” I totally could imagine Sherry writing a “Do what you want, do what you want with my blog” post reminiscent of Lady Gaga’s “Do what you want with my body”. You know it!

    Take care,
    Caitlin @ Sunshine and Whiskey Blog (formerly ThatHouseonTheCorner)

    Reply
  30. zarina says

    September 23, 2014 at 10:27 pm

    Since late 2009 I have been reading your blog – each morning before I start work. I am missing your blog, I know you will come back – a great comeback :)

    Reply
  31. Liz says

    September 23, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    Really hope you come back soon!!!

    Reply
  32. Caroline says

    September 23, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    I keep coming back to read….hoping you’ll post…I hope you are enjoy your breath of fresh air, but I’m hoping you’ll come back! You will, won’t you?

    Reply
  33. Nancie says

    September 23, 2014 at 11:42 pm

    DAILY NOTE:
    Hi YHL! you know what goes well with coffee break or lunchtime? a new YHL post ;-)

    There have been other blogs I’ve read, some even regularly, but none that I have loved the way I love yours. Hope you are well.

    Reply
  34. Meadowsweet Cottage says

    September 24, 2014 at 12:52 am

    Miss you guys! Enjoy your break and the kids. I look forward to your latest projects and your adorable nerdiness when you’re ready!

    Reply
  35. Amy F. says

    September 24, 2014 at 2:20 am

    It’s your blogiversary. Seems weird not to anticipate an infographic filled post from you.

    Miss you all. Hope you’re well!

    With love,
    Amy :)

    Reply
  36. Pippa says

    September 24, 2014 at 5:30 am

    Miss you guys! Still checking everyday!

    Reply
  37. Mimi says

    September 24, 2014 at 6:16 am

    While I understand all that you have said I am very sad to see you go. I always enjoyed your blog and reading about your children and house projects as well as Burger was always uplifting for me. You both do a wonderful job.

    Hope to see you all return soon!!!

    Reply
  38. Lisa says

    September 24, 2014 at 6:55 am

    Well after reading some of the comments here, I have to admit I think some of the commenters are legit craycray. Also, I have been reading Manhattan Nest from the beginning to end since you stopped blogging and now that I have seen the light I am kinda over you guys. I guess it is me, not you.

    Reply
    • Steph says

      September 25, 2014 at 11:31 am

      Seriously? Who seems crazier? The commenters expressing their admiration and encouragement for John and Sherry, or the commenter who would come here just to insult YHL readers and demean John and Sherry? If your interests have changed, that’s your prerogative, but there is no need to come here and brag about it while also insulting the readers.

  39. Sharon says

    September 24, 2014 at 7:14 am

    Dunno if y’all are reading comments on hiatus, but we miss you!

    Reply
  40. zoe says

    September 24, 2014 at 8:06 am

    Add this to the “I miss you and I don’t know how to feel about it because we don’t actually know each other!” pile

    Reply
  41. Leslie C. says

    September 24, 2014 at 9:05 am

    I love you guys!

    Reply
  42. Lisa says

    September 24, 2014 at 9:16 am

    Miss you guys! And you are definitely not a brand. You are John and Sherry. Just last night I said to my sister, “you definitely have to start watching The Mindy Project, even Sherry loves it.”

    Reply
  43. Heather says

    September 24, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Happy Blogiversary! Lucky number 7! Since 7 is one of your favourite numbers I’m guessing this is going to be a craze-amazing year for you guys :)

    Reply
  44. Jennah says

    September 24, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Sherry, if you are reading this, you may be depressed. You don’t have to be crying in the corner all day like on those stupid commercials in order to be Depressed (capital D). You can generally feel crappy about the world, and just not happy with things for no real reason (or sort of a real reason, but not enough of a reason and then you get into the stupid “why do I feel this way, I shouldn’t feel this way, I am awful” circle).

    I snark with the best of em on a lot of your life and design choices, but if even a tiny sliver of you feels like you might be depressed, you probably are. And you owe it to yourself and your family to find help for yourself to work back to feeling OK with the world.

    It sucks, and I have been [am] there. I’ve shared my story on my own blog. Maybe you aren’t depressed and it isn’t the issue, but if you are reading this, please think about it and get help if needed. Everyone owes that to themselves. Same goes to you, John.

    Reply
  45. Maleah says

    September 24, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Missing you and your blog today!

    Reply
  46. paddyclifford says

    September 24, 2014 at 10:19 am

    I don’t know if you’re reading all the comments but I just want to say how loyal a follower i have been too. I’m hailing from Ireland and stumbled upon your blog years ago. I loved visiting it, every day around 3pm GMT, that’s when I expected your fresh post.
    I’ve felt that you’ve grown so much and that the blog has become a machine and was steam rolling along and you guys were feeling like you were going to fall off. I just sensed this and like some of the comments I felt like I was just visiting and not reading all the posts since they weren’t relative to me but still found myself clicking on everyday. Why? Because of you guys and who knows what post would be for me, the next one could be. I didn’t care, I’d still visit.
    I’m going to be honest again, when i saw this post, I didn’t realise it was a ‘taking a break post’. I read the first few lines and thought it was just a ‘thankful’ post. Not that they aren’t important.
    I loved your little projects mostly. The big ones were great and informative and relevant to people in a point in time but the smaller post always got me intrigued. made me feel, ‘I could do that’. Hell I bought kreg jig cause of you guys. Do you think i’ve used it yet, nope LOL and they weren’t even available in Ireland at the time. One day.
    Stay creative, stay inspirational and be happy whereever it takes you. x

    Reply
  47. AlisonG says

    September 24, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Maybe with all the side projects that you have taken on of late coming to a close, you will be able to focus on the blog, which is where it all stems from and began. I hope you can find new inspiration and vigor, and will return.

    Reply
  48. Deb says

    September 24, 2014 at 10:57 am

    “it’s been 7 hours and 15 days, since you took your love away”…..literally, 15 days and I still check back everyday. Miss the blog but hope that you are getting the rest you need!

    Reply
  49. Brittany says

    September 24, 2014 at 11:30 am

    I feel so crazy! It took me this long to finally realize what was missing from my email every day. My YHL subscription email! I missed this post and just read it. I love watching what you guys do and I’m so happy for all the success you’ve had. I respect you both so much for taking the time to think things over and enjoy your family. As a new mother to a little one, I totally know how important that time is. I really hope you guys decide to come back but if you don’t, it’s been fun and I’ll still have the archives to look back on for inspiration. Can’t wait for the new book!

    Reply
  50. Amanda says

    September 24, 2014 at 11:43 am

    I miss you Petersik family. That is all. :(

    Reply
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