The Elephant In The Room

This post is just about a weird decorating related dream I had. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh yeah and I think it means I’m a teeeny bit strange. Just a smidge. Anyway, in my dream there was this new decorating trend that was sweeping the nation and it was called “The Elephant In The Room” and it basically meant that a bunch of big scmancy designers (this was possibly spurned by watching Million Dollar Decorators before bed) decided that every room needed “a dash of elephant.” Kind of like how they say every room needs “a little bit of black” or “something unexpected.” So they were all encouraging people to subtly work an elephant figurine or painting or some pillow with a cross-stitched elephant into every room in order for it to feel “polished and 100% done.”

As in, no room is complete without an elephant.

So they would show these pretty designer rooms and you wouldn’t see any elephants and then they’d say their punch line, which was: “Now let’s address the elephant in the room!” and they’d zoom in on the subtle elephant-y pattern in the bed linens or the curtains or in the art and everyone would be amazed by “the big elephant reveal.” So it wasn’t anything crazy like a giant life-sized elephant sitting on a sofa, but more like a pretty modern room with a discrete ceramic elephant on the coffee table.

They declared that every room needed at least one elephant if not many of them, but they should be “subtle and tasteful.” Even bathrooms apparently needed that “touch of elephant” (they suggested finding “an elegant and refined elephant soap pump” or working a few into your shower curtain design). For kitchens they recommended a new faucet design that looked like a gilded elephant and the water came out of the trunk.

Then Donald Trump gave a tour of his house and he had a golden elephant faucet and all the designers were doing that refined golf clap when they saw it because they were enamored with the idea of it and called him “a style icon” to which Trump replied “oh yes, I’m a uuuge style icon” (that’s really how he says huge – I learned that from The Apprentice and SNL and The Soup, and I’m proud that my sub-conscious worked it in). This is what his mouth looked like when he said uuuge in case you’re wondering:

So then I turned to John in my dream and said “do you think we should blog about the whole Elephant In The Room Phenomenon?” and he said “no, I think we should pass on that trend and start a Chihuahua In The Room thing, and just photograph every room with Burger somewhere in the background like Where’s Waldo.” Of course this sounded like an amazing idea and I pointed out that Burger already weasels his way into a ton of pictures and that (this cracks me up most) “he does seem to make a space feel more complete.”

Then I woke up.

Insane right? Oh well, it made me laugh. And of course I ran right over to the computer as soon as I awoke to record all the details before it got fuzzy and I forgot anything. Because this ol’ blog is nothing if not a weird little “time capsule” of home improvement related happenings (so I think nutso decorating trend dreams have a place here somewhere, right?). So there, I showed you mine. Have you guys had any crazy decor-related dreams? Let’s delve deep into our subconscious decorating minds and try to understand it all. The only thing that I can guess mine might indicate is that I have a deep love of not-real animals (like all of my ceramic “friends”). And we’re a little too obsessed with Burger. But you already knew that.

Comments

  1. Sophie says

    Not home decoration as such, but I once dreamed that Ryan Gosling was teaching me how to make a perfect cherry pie. This is officially the best dream I have EVER had. So awesome.

  2. says

    OMG! HILARIOUS!!! How ridiculous is the elephant in each room! BUT, I do like the where’s waldo idea with Burger! :) And I could totally hear Trump saying “uuge”!!!

    I had a dream recently that my friend Cait from Hernando House flew out to Cali for some decorating fun and we hammered out a bunch of projects at lightning speeds… kind’a like super heroes!!! Haven’t told her about the dream yet, so hopefully she reads it here! :)

  3. Sara says

    Hilarious!! That made a Friday afternoon at work so much better! What did John say when you told him??

  4. says

    Actually, I do have a little bit of elephant in every room. No joke. I love elephants, so people always buy me little elephant doo-dads for birhtdays, Christmas, souvenirs, etc. My mom always said “A touch of yellow in every room, makes a house a home.” to which I’ve always replied “a touch of ELEPHANT in every room makes a house a home.”

    So funny that you dreamt about this!

    • Jenni says

      That is awesome–both Mallory and Sherry. Side note–I used to babysit a little boy (now 6) who LOVES elephants. Whenever I see an Elephant, I think of him. Ironically, earlier today, I was actually thinking about getting him one of those cardboard safari elephants, because he also loves puzzles. (One for me too? :) Anyways, I can totally see this trend catching on. Pretty soon, they will have to change the bit from Portlandia to “Put an Elephant on it!”

    • says

      I don’t have them in every room (yet) because I am terribly picky about my elephants but I do have them in several rooms. I didn’t even notice the trend until one day it occurred to me that there are a whole bunch in the house. Guess my subconscious decided I like them enough for a collection.

    • Megan says

      Me, too! I was just thinking, “Her dream is my reality.” I don’t know why, I never really had a thing for them before, but after we bought our house 3 years ago elephants slowly made their way into every room! I have little elephant statues, an elephant tray from Ikea, an elephant tea pot, elephant fabrics, the list goes on. It’s not like overwhelming elephant, but it’s just a touch of elephant in each room, just like your dream!

    • LeeAnn says

      omg I feel better now – I was going to reply that I have an elephant in the living room, one in the master bedroom, and one that has yet to find a home, because it’s just been framed and I need to decide where to hang it!

      I also have an elephant on my desk at work…I hadn’t realized how pervasive they are!

    • Mary says

      I’m so glad to hear other people already have jumped on “An Elephant in Every Room.” See, Sherry? You HAVE started something!

  5. says

    I’m really excited you incorporated a dream into your blog. I dream quite frequently and I think it’s a fascinating subject. Unfortunately, I don’t have any juicy/funny/weird dreams recently about home decorating. However I frequently have flying dreams, and I must say they are the best and quite exhilarating.

  6. says

    Oh man. Im totally showing this to my husband. I have an amazing love affair with elephants (so much that I got a cute petite one on my arm). He told me I need to stop telling people about my love because now, for every occasion someone gives me an elephant. I love it, but he’s feeling like we’re getting to the “too many” point. Psh, men! :)

  7. says

    The timing of this post is ridiculous as I literally just walked in the door from a quick trip to explore a new Goodwill nearby where I BOUGHT A CERAMIC ELEPHANT.

  8. April L. says

    I actually have a friend who has her living room decorated with elephants. Not my thing, but to each his own, right?

  9. Lisa in Seattle says

    No decor-related dreams, but I am pretty sure that this is the best thing I’m going to read on the Internet all day.

    Help me understand why Trump is orange. Is it an East Coast thing? We don’t have orange people out here. Nor do we karate-chop our throw pillows or say “ugh” when we don’t mean that at all. The differences in American regions are so interesting.

    • says

      Haha, I think the orange thing is a rare Jersey thing (not all Jersey girls go there at all – I’m actually from there myself – but it happens). So I don’t know why a rich New Yorker like Trump is rocking the Snookie glow. Hmm…

      xo,
      s