Archive for June, 2011

A Little Saturday Night Update

In the breaking news department (that’s an overstatement if I’ve ever made one), although it’s the weekend I thought I’d stop in to share this super quick probably-interesting-to-no-one-but-me dining room update. Remember a few days back when I made our new curtains?

And the table looked like this?

Well, now it looks like this:

Can you already tell the difference? Here, I’ll get a little closer.

Yeah, the branches died. Probably because I didn’t even put water in the vase. Oops. How quickly the dream dies. Well, at least when the dream is lush leafy green branches that survive on love alone. And not water.

So in mini keeping-it-real news, our table is substantially less cute. But our curtains still make me want to kiss them. Passionately.

And we needed one of the plates (and a cup) so those got yoinked from the table. So the place settings (for no one) are a little wonky now. Guess it’s a sign that it’s time to un-set my nobody’s-coming-to-dinner table.

Maybe tomorrow.

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The Elephant In The Room

This post is just about a weird decorating related dream I had. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh yeah and I think it means I’m a teeeny bit strange. Just a smidge. Anyway, in my dream there was this new decorating trend that was sweeping the nation and it was called “The Elephant In The Room” and it basically meant that a bunch of big scmancy designers (this was possibly spurned by watching Million Dollar Decorators before bed) decided that every room needed “a dash of elephant.” Kind of like how they say every room needs “a little bit of black” or “something unexpected.” So they were all encouraging people to subtly work an elephant figurine or painting or some pillow with a cross-stitched elephant into every room in order for it to feel “polished and 100% done.”

As in, no room is complete without an elephant.

So they would show these pretty designer rooms and you wouldn’t see any elephants and then they’d say their punch line, which was: “Now let’s address the elephant in the room!” and they’d zoom in on the subtle elephant-y pattern in the bed linens or the curtains or in the art and everyone would be amazed by “the big elephant reveal.” So it wasn’t anything crazy like a giant life-sized elephant sitting on a sofa, but more like a pretty modern room with a discrete ceramic elephant on the coffee table.

They declared that every room needed at least one elephant if not many of them, but they should be “subtle and tasteful.” Even bathrooms apparently needed that “touch of elephant” (they suggested finding “an elegant and refined elephant soap pump” or working a few into your shower curtain design). For kitchens they recommended a new faucet design that looked like a gilded elephant and the water came out of the trunk.

Then Donald Trump gave a tour of his house and he had a golden elephant faucet and all the designers were doing that refined golf clap when they saw it because they were enamored with the idea of it and called him “a style icon” to which Trump replied “oh yes, I’m a uuuge style icon” (that’s really how he says huge – I learned that from The Apprentice and SNL and The Soup, and I’m proud that my sub-conscious worked it in). This is what his mouth looked like when he said uuuge in case you’re wondering:

So then I turned to John in my dream and said “do you think we should blog about the whole Elephant In The Room Phenomenon?” and he said “no, I think we should pass on that trend and start a Chihuahua In The Room thing, and just photograph every room with Burger somewhere in the background like Where’s Waldo.” Of course this sounded like an amazing idea and I pointed out that Burger already weasels his way into a ton of pictures and that (this cracks me up most) “he does seem to make a space feel more complete.”

Then I woke up.

Insane right? Oh well, it made me laugh. And of course I ran right over to the computer as soon as I awoke to record all the details before it got fuzzy and I forgot anything. Because this ol’ blog is nothing if not a weird little “time capsule” of home improvement related happenings (so I think nutso decorating trend dreams have a place here somewhere, right?). So there, I showed you mine. Have you guys had any crazy decor-related dreams? Let’s delve deep into our subconscious decorating minds and try to understand it all. The only thing that I can guess mine might indicate is that I have a deep love of not-real animals (like all of my ceramic “friends”). And we’re a little too obsessed with Burger. But you already knew that.

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